My screaming baby is ruining everything :(

[endofmytetherstether]

Please help.
DS (5.5 months) has been a very difficult baby from birth. He only has two moods - smiley and content (which is lovely) and completely inconsolable and screaming. Unfortunately he is almost always the latter apart from some smiley hours in the morning.
He screams his head off and cries almost constantly. He is so fucking grumpy. It's got to the point where I don't attend baby classes or NCT gatherings because he blows his top so completely. I've had people in coffee shops and restaurants tell him to shhh! It's mortifying and means I am frightened to go on public transport - I live in central Manchester and don't drive so rely on trams and trains to get around but I dread it because he gets so furious so quickly.
I have no chance to get to him before he blows his lid - he will be asleep in the sling or the pram and will wake up and be full on furious almost immediately. When he gets so angry he won't feed properly.
My DP and I are constantly on edge and arguing because DS screams even more with him than he does with me, so our evenings and weekends are just spent passing a screaming baby back and forth. I end up in tears almost every night because it's so exhausting and wears me down. It's destroying our relationship. We love our son but he has brought no pleasure to our lives as all he does is cry.
I thought he would get better as he got older but it isn't really improving at all.

I don't want to drip feed - I have tried he following:

• cranial osteopathy - did nothing
• he has been medicated for silent reflux for months but doesn't seem to have made any difference - he is on omeprazole (sp?) but really the GP did it on spec to see if that was causing it. He doesn't seem to be in pain, he's just grumpy.
• he is EBF. I cut or gluten and egg and dairy for six weeks. Made no difference at all.
• I am very strict about his naps and he is a goodish napper so I don't think he's overtired
• I tried baby massage but he hates it
• he is an OK sleeper, wakes several times a night but that's to be expected with babies
• he has toys and I try to spend lots of time talking to him but he just cries and gets angry
• we leave the house every day for fresh air and a walk
• he likes the sling to sleep but once he's awake he hates it

I just feel so defeated. He has broken my spirit. I want so badly to be a good mum and to enjoy my time with him. But he is miserable and so are we. Please help.

My DS was very unhappy until I stopped BF. I know it's not the popular answer, but he transformed from a red, angry ball into a milky-skinned placid babe within a day or two of stopping BF. And he has pretty much stayed that way. He's now 11

Just to add i feel the same about NCT meet ups and have had to leave baby groups early! I have been in tears on the way home.

I just try to remember that after these last few months we can handle anything teething/toddler tantrums throw at us whereas they will get a massive shock when their lovely non-screaming baby’s start to act up.

Oh, also wanted to add: I tried white noise for ages when she was first born and she never took to it. I tried it again a couple of weeks ago, playing sea sounds rather than actual white noise, and she seems to settle a bit in the evenings and morning now with it on. Mine still refuses a dummy which doesn't help.

I’m sorry - it’s just your baby’s personality!

Mine was like this too - I couldn’t do anything with her. She was so loud. 2 switches - lovely or screaming

They make for lovely toddlers...!!

I have no words of advice but a wave from the 'other side'

My DD is 3 now but we joke she didn't stop crying for 2 years!
They are hard times and you sound like you are doing everything you possibly can which makes you a fantastic mum IMO.
I hope someone comes along with some sound advice for you 

I weened ds1 at nearly 6mths and ds2 earlier. He was desperate for food! It was a slow ween though and l didn't rush trying new foods.

They both sat in their bouncer as they couldn't sit up completely unaided.

put him in a bumbo for weaning to start off with if you don't think he is ready for a high-chair.

We had to early wean DD (throat issues and we had medical supervision). She couldn't sit in a high chair so I sat on the floor and fed her in her bouncer chair. She was an awful lot happier.

X post

This sounds v familiar. DS1 was utterly hateful. He didn't sleep for more than 2 hours until he was 3. One of my neighbours took pity on me and used to take him off in his buggy for long walks (neighbour wore headphones!) It got better very gradually but the sleep didn't really settle until he was 3 or 4. He is the kindest, loveliest, gentle 12 year old I've ever come across.
Sending hugs

Is he teething op?
My health visitor said a very common side effect of teething is earache in babies. She said to try the ibuprofen version of campion (I can't, for the life of me, think of it's bloody name) as it is an anti inflammatory. My son was a little bit older, but it seems to help us. Just check with the pharmacist that your baby is old enough to take it etc.

Screamer here too....until recently I literally thought what the 'f' have we actually done. Totally agree with pp in around the 8 month mark things improved slightly, then 12m better were now at 13m and he's coming on leaps and bounds and getting a proper personality, not a grumpy sod anymore (most of the time). Hes got happier the more mobile hes got, but he didnt sit until 9m or crawl until 12 and I really think alot of it is frustration. He was also medicated with ranitadine for reflux, which was not silent 😊 and sounds like youve fully tried the main allergens. My only advice would be find a childminder you trust and have a few hours a week, it is a lifeline. Ignorant people telling him to shhhh too, how to make someone feel like shit! Your doing nothing wrong at all x

It’s so bloody hard isn’t it!!! Nowt prepares you for a baby, all the bloody adverts sell parenthood as this serene joyous experience with maybe a smidge of crying here n there. Well they’re lying!!!! Anyway, no useful advice I’m afraid, just a 🤜 of solidarity. And also, once you’re at six months hopefully weaning will make a difference and then it’s not long till crawling. Some babies are just not happy being babies and once they can get around they’re less frustrated (until they see something they want that is off limits !). A theme develops before long with parenting ‘it doesn’t necessarily get easier, it’s just changes’. Mine are 4 and 6 now and the baby phase was definitely one of the hardest. Keep on keeping on OP!

*calpol!

Weird question but have you had him checked for a tongue tie? Is he a "normal" weight, ever struggled with latch etc? Just wondering if he's hungry/frustrated as he can't feed properly?

Could it be colic?

My youngest granddaughter had reflux and she was the most miserable baby alive. How DD got through it I'll never know. I used to put her in a sling for an hour a day and go for a long walk where no one could hear her yelling and think I was torturing her and that hour used to take me to the edge of my tolerance. Christ knows how DD and her DH got through the remaining 23 hours..........

In the end DD had to really really push for a paed referral from the GP as frankly they were useless with the reflux. They gave DD some different meds (omeprazole and gaviscon didn't help at all) and the biggest change came from DD stopping BFing which broke her heart to do. Later on, at 18 months she was diagnosed with coeliac disease, and DD realised she was reacting to the gluten via her breastmilk. So no wonder bottle feeding had helped.

It will get better

Also try some teething remedies in case they help, we used to throw everything at our son to see if anything 

My daughter was exactly like this! I always said she was either asleep, feeding or screaming. She never seemed to have any conscious but content moments. It was mentally exhausting. I couldn't take her to baby groups. I was always amazed that other babies would quietly lie there looking around, perfectly content. She was a feisty toddler who had plenty of tantrums but was also funny and sweet. Now she's an absolute angel. Everyone comments on how calm and caring she is and her sweet nature. As my mum said - she just didn't like being a baby! It will pass but I know how tough it is.

If you are hesitant about the highchair, maybe try him in a bouncer type chair this is what we did with dgd, as she was so dinky & was to small for the highchair.

Ds1 was a screamer. We put it down to prematurity/reflux/anything really. He used to sleep for no more than 45 minutes at a time then wake up screaming. It was awful. We learned to do everything with one hand.

He improved hugely when he was weaned. I did EBF for 6 months and I can’t help thinking he just hated my milk despite not seeming particularly colicky or anything.

Anyway. He’s a big hairy nearly 16 year old now and quite lovely!

My ds screamed at me for hours and hours, it was cmpa, 48 hours off dairy and he was a different child. He literally didn't cry at all unless I'd slept through his calls/cooing in the night.

If he’s not ready for a high chair then do t put him in one, spoon feed in a bouncer chair is fine to start with.

I agree try solid foods.
Is your DS meeting other milestones? Eye contact, reaching for things etc?

OP - so plan of action... try weening in a baby bouncer along with a dummy in between and a bit of Calpol. Also teething gel