Don't want to breastfeed.....

[Zaplolly]

Hi everyone!
I'm 25 weeks and have made the decision not to breastfeed when I have my baby. It's my decision but I feel like I'm being to made guilty by not even trying.... did anyone else just go straight to FF? Did you try in the beginning? Is it wrong to not want to?
It's not that I don't want the connection with my baby, just the following reasons-
-they need feeding much more frequently, which can be exhausting through the night
-it is very draining both mentally and physically for Mum
-it hurts
-I don't feel comfortable breastfeeding in public
-can be trying to do it for potentially hours at a time
-no involvement for Dad/freedom for Mum
-can't measure how much baby is drinking on each feed
Would love to hear everyone's thoughts
Thanks x

Mam, it's not that bewildering. The reasons some don't want to could be deeply personal or triggering, reasons one wouldn't necessarily go into to placate and justify to strangers.
Or they might simply not want to. There's really nothing to be confused about.

Millions of women breastfeed around the world. They can't all be wrong. If formula feeding is the answer to all your problems then go ahead. All my siblings ff, not once did I criticize them but we all deep down know breastmilk is the only best source of food for baby. Formula has its place too.

cloudy most of the studies you are referring too have been funded by big formula companies. But if you want to believe the findings, go ahead.

Op

I chose to FF from birth

Hello wasn't met with any of the negativity of HC professionals that I read about.

It worked like a dream for us dd is now 8 the healthiest baby and dc you could ever meet.

Wishing you luck whatever you decide.

Don't know where 'hello' appeared from

Blanche it is bewildering when the op has stated her reasons and theyre not deeply personal or triggering. But maybe she has other reasons, who knows. Not the point of this post.

can anyone provide any real evidence that says that breast feeding definitively makes a lasting, positive impact?

sweet jesus are we really asking if there is evidence? Yes yes. Yes there are many many studies from all over the world showing that breastfed babies are healthier and even slightly more intelligent than FF babies. However people take it as 'offensive' if you talk about these studies.

OBVIOUSLY that doesn't change the fact that YOUR child who is FF may be very intelligent and healthy! That's ANECDOTE and science works using DATA .

You can have a super bright super healthy FF baby. It doesn't change the fact that a baby that is FF is statistically more likely to be obese, have gastro related health problems etc etc.

Re. the OP - so much emphasis on how mum feels - is no consideration at all given to what is best for baby? I actually found BF tiring and painful - truly it wa horrific at first - but I kept going because I konw it is better than formula for my baby - I don't judge anyone who makes a different decision, obviously with most babies the difference is minimal.

The difference in IQ between bf and ff babies is only a few points. Therefore it hardly matters. Your baby will neither be an Einstein or have a normal IQ v being mentally disabled purely due to breastfeeding.
And beyond that I'd be interested to see how socio-economic factors come into the mix.
As to obesity. A few days ago I looked into obesity in general due to my husband. I read that scientists put genetic factors at 70% based on studies on adopted children (where the adoptive parents were not obese and the biological ones were) and twin studies. So breastfeeding... I'd be surprised if that effect went very far.

It's interesting that bf rates have gone up since the 1970s, but so have obesity, allergies and breastcancer. So why is this? Technically we should see less of this according to the studies.

If you're happy with your decision, then that's fine.

Lol on the iq. My daughter was exclusive ff. she received straight a or a star at gcse or a level and has just come out with a first in law. She's also highly intelligent, I'm a member of Mensa, and I did a number of tests for training contract applications with her to see who did best, so I know for a fact her iq is higher than mine. I'm not joking when I say that's saying something. I'm top 2%, she must be higher.

Your iq is about many things, it's not about how you were fed as a baby.

www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/breastfeeding-doesnt-boost-childrens-intelligence/

Don’t be fooled into thinking ff babies sleep better. It’s a big fucking myth. I stopped breastfeeding number 2 child so he could sleep through on formula. Worst decision ever, then I had to make the bloody bottles up in the middle of the night too. One of my bf baby slept through from 8 weeks, which truly shocked me as I didn’t think it possible.

Yeah bf can be hard work, and it can be very convenient. Babies very rarely get sick as you share antibodies.

I think bf mum wish more mums would try because we know that some of the statements you say are incorrect if bf is done properly. And I know it’s hard to get it going properly so it doesn’t hurt so that is not a judgement.

Kikibo my breastmilk is perfect for my baby. It is so lovely to see that so many different countries around the world have good breastfeeding rates. As per usual UK is lagging well behind.

My EFF DC slept through from 10 weeks!

Absolutely agree with posters saying your baby your choice. Whatever you do will be wrong anyway!

Best thing I ever read about breast feeding v formula feeding, " your baby's relationship with you is far more important that your baby's relationship with your boobs". Formula these days is excellent, and once they are weaned who can tell anyway?

Do what is right for you and your baby. (Disclaimer, I breast fed for 4-5 days with both my babies & found it extremely difficult, so moved to formula and never looked back.)

FF only dc from birth so no comparison for me at all.

Dd slept amazingly and we were able to establish a great routine extremely early on. This was very important to me as an individual and new mum.

These threads always go the same way, lots of "but my baby did xyz', "well my baby did zyx" blah blah. No mum is going to say that the decision they made was the bad one and they feel guilty for not giving their baby the best food they could. The facts are that the NHS could save millions if more people BF because FF increases the chances of babies becoming poorly and needing to be admitted to hospital. Formula also saves the lives of babies who have mothers who can't BF. Formula is wonderful stuff but in comparison to breast milk it's not as good and in this country lots of women choose formula over breastmilk for trivial reasons. Disclaimer...I'm not saying that all reasons are trivial just the ones like DH can bond, I want freedom etc.

BF could save the NHS millions? What about the breastfed kids I saw at baby clinic who always seemed to have a cold? What about the ones like my first born who ended up in hospital because he wasn't taking enough breast milk and lost too much weight? On the other hand, my other children were combi-fed and exclusively FF (by the time I'd figured out BF wasn't for me) who have never been ill in their lives? All anecdotal of course but what else can I give but my own experience?
Too much is made of what milk infants take, it's such a small amount of time. I'm more concerned with actual parenting and establishing a healthy diet once weaned as these will make a difference.

The NHS could save many more millions if it stopped chucking money down the drain and treated people when they need treating rather than 6 months down the line. That would achieve far more than bf ever will.

Of course ff doesn't make babies sleep through. Whoever believes that is naive. Anyway, modern formula is given on demand like bf, so essentially it's the same in terms of amount.
Mind you, in the early days it probably does make a difference to get a routine going, because the increase in food doesn't depend on how fast the milk glands of the mother can adjust, but if baby doesn't drink enough to get through the night, then that's just how it is. Nothing you can do about it.

It is a pity I can't be more open about my positive breastfeeding experience to my ff friends. Some how it offends them.

So blanche you say your ff kids have never been ill in their lives. Not even a cold? Ok I believe you.

'It is a pity I can't be more open about my positive breastfeeding experience to my ff friends. Some how it offends them.'

Really

Perhaps it's how you come across

Just a thought

They simply dont want to hear my side. They get all fidgety and uncomfortable but yet it is ok for them to speak about why they are ff. Maybe they feel guilt or jealously or even both.

Nope - me neither. And if it comes up that DD didn’t sleep through until she was 15 ms I’m invariably told that that was my choice for bf. I mean 🙄

No one should feel they have to justify how they feed their baby. I have a couple of friends who are expecting their first (I’m expecting my second) I have a definite feeling this is going to come up as a BF vs FF thing. I don’t give a shit - the mind boggles at the faffing around but BF was (once we got over the hump) straight forward for me.

It means nothing to me whether you believe me or not, pornstar. They're healthy kids generally, never needed a day off school for anything.
In regards to your friends, you probably exude superiority which is what makes them squirm.