Don't want to breastfeed.....

[Zaplolly]

Hi everyone!
I'm 25 weeks and have made the decision not to breastfeed when I have my baby. It's my decision but I feel like I'm being to made guilty by not even trying.... did anyone else just go straight to FF? Did you try in the beginning? Is it wrong to not want to?
It's not that I don't want the connection with my baby, just the following reasons-
-they need feeding much more frequently, which can be exhausting through the night
-it is very draining both mentally and physically for Mum
-it hurts
-I don't feel comfortable breastfeeding in public
-can be trying to do it for potentially hours at a time
-no involvement for Dad/freedom for Mum
-can't measure how much baby is drinking on each feed
Would love to hear everyone's thoughts
Thanks x

Totally with tutu.

I've seen a constantly feeding baby first hand... before that, I thought it was just a matter of putting on the boob and away you go. Basically like putting a bottle in its mouth, but a nipple instead. Terribly naive I was.

The details my German neighbour told me in order to convince me tipped me over the edge the other way.
Then the wife of a friend fed her 6-month-old in our living room and the smacking noises just put me off. I just couldn't have that.

I agreed with my midwife to give colostrum and that would be it. I don't need to try to know I don't want to bf.

Yes, making a very important decision based on a piece of anecdotal evidence (all babies feed constantly at times, boob or bottle one persons bad experience and a dislike of the noise. Excellent reasoning!

Hang on, the neighbour was positive. So one constantly feeding baby and a smacking noise! That's on a par with my boobs are for my husband not my baby.

Ugh 'very important decision'. It's not as if baby will die or be at a serious disadvantage because she wasn't bf. She'd be much more affected if she had a resentful mum.

And before the 'breast is best' brigade comes with all the advantages based on research: well-nigh all of them are on a population level. At individual level they hardly matter.

How on earth do you know that you are going to resent your baby if you breastfeed it if you don't try?!

It is an important decision that should be well informed, your reasoning is ridiculous but clearly you've done some serious research. There is lots of research, both for and against it and I honestly don't care one way or another what people do but sharing good experiences of feeding shouldn't be so hard.

For those saying that Perfect Prep machines don't dispense water hot enough in the initial shot of water to kill any bacteria in formula, I would like to confirm that they in fact do.

I tested my tommee tippee perfect prep machine today and the water was 72.6c, according to WHO website "The water should be no cooler than 70c".

I hope this clears up any misinformation the breast feeding brigade may have about formula feeders, as you keep saying.. informed is best!

I think the point about PP machines is that the volume of water in the shot is not large enough to hold the temp long enough to sterilise the powder.

As stated in their website!

Given how important this is to babies health, do you not think they would adjust this feature to ensure that enough water was being dispensed in the initial shot. Especially as poorly babies don't equal sales or good publicity for TT.

.

‘The issues we have with it are, although it states it dispenses a ‘hot shot’ at 70C to kill bacteria that potentially could be in the powder, the reality (if you watch the TT advert) is that this amount of hot water used is very small, and once this is dispensed into a cold bottle/cold powder the heat will be quickly lost (more so than when preparing a full bottle with cooled, boiled water to >70C), so we would be interested to see whether TT have done any validation to see what temperatures the hot shot/powder combo actually reaches (and whether this is enough to destroy any bacteria).The other issue, is that the rest of the bottle is then topped up with cold water, which TT state is filtered to remove impurities. Again we would be interested to know whether it has been validated that the TT filter removes potential bacteria in the tap water (as this won’t previously have been boiled).

Your article is from February 2016, therefore the information is not relevant to current PP machines which were made in 2018.

These debates drive me bonkers. Feed your babies how you like and stop criticising each other! Anyone who has actually read up on the breastfeeding research instead of just parroting that 'breast is best' will know that benefits to baby are immeasurable at anything but the population level and that if you look at siblings who were fed differently, there is no measurable difference in any outcomes apart from asthma which actually measured worse in BF babies. I have nothing against either method but the evidence clearly shows that social and economic factors are what will influence your baby's future, not BF or formula. Anyone who can direct me to a study showing measurable differences in BF and FF babies from the same families is welcome to post a link! I wish we could all stop obsessing about this one minuscule aspect of parenthood

rainycloudyday breast is best. Breast milk changes according to babies needs. Looks like the formula companies have done one on you. Just like alot of women in the UK.

Pornstarlips: which particular evidence studies have convinced you of your view? I'm always interested to read new sources!

By the way I didn't actually say how I fed...

I don't disagree that milk changes etc but I'm talking about actual measurable impacts on baby which is surely what is what it comes down to? Where are the studies saying that babies from the same socio economic background and upbringing will end up any better off if BF? Please do point me to your information sources!

I don't need to send a link of information. Breastfeeding is the only natural source of food for babies. Cows milk fortified with vitamins has its place but you cannot compare the two. UK has the lowest rates of breastfeeding around the world and a massive obesity problem too. Women in the UK have the lowest life expectancy compared to the rest of western Europe. Something has gone massively wrong .

I'm no fan of formula companies, I think many of their tactics are fucking awful. And BF would always be my plan A. But that's because when it works it's free, convenient and doesn't require forward planning. So don't assume I'm some BF-hating idiot who has been brainwashed by formula companies. Just a sensible person who read up herself on the actual studies instead of reading promotional material from either side of the debate and came to her own conclusions.

Measurable impacts on baby aside, I haven't got time to do a research project.
We are mammals we are supposed to breastfeed out babies.
I am from a much poorer country than the U.K. And breastfeeding rates are much higher. The main incentive (outside the benefits that the breast is best brigade spurt at you obviously!) is financial. Formula is bloody expensive! Not denying it is necessary for many children.

Sorry but I find it really hard to discuss this with someone who says 'I don't need to look at evidence, here are my observations of two potentially unrelated factors and that's that'. I personally prefer to work on the basis of facts.

If more babies were breastfed, less babies would be ill. It would save the nhs millions of pounds

Especially as poorly babies don't equal sales or good publicity for TT.

The FSA hasn’t changed their guidance though. Companies that sell formula and ff equipment couldn’t care less because they get away with it. If a baby is hospitalised with gastro, unless it can be linked with a specific outbreak in a contaminated formula batch, (which does happen but is rare) no one can ever prove that the illness has been caused by unsafe formula prep, no one would ever look into it actually because a stomach infection could potentially come from many sources. The main completely undisputed difference between ff and bf babies is incidents of gastro infection. Now of course some of that is that they’re not getting the same antibacterial properties but I’d bet good money that more of it is caused by parents not preparing formula safely and many incidents could be eliminated if people followed NHS and WHO guidelines correctly.

If for whatever reason I could not breastfeeding, of course I would ff but I would still say breast is the real source of food for babies. I wouldn't become delusional to make myself feel better

breastfeed

@Zaplolly
Do whatever you feel comfortable with... I personally exclusively express...

My daughter was born by c-section and I formula fed for the first 4 days till my milk came in.. I then combi fed till supply built up..

Reasons I like expressing:
I know exactly how much she is drinking
She has all the anti-body benefits
Breastmilk lasts longer than formula
Dad/family can do night feeds
I have the ability to leave her (though haven't)
It doesn't hurt

I dislike that I have to express when out and about or my boobs feel really full x

Pornstarlips you're being quite offensive to describe other people's views as delusional. Particularly when you admit yourself that yours are based on anecdotal observations as you 'don't need to look at evidence studies' I seem to have fallen into a BF v FF debate which I usually try to avoid at all costs so I think I'll leave it there. But I would urge anyone to actually read up on the factual evidence about feeding methods as there is so much propaganda from so many sides.