Afficionados of How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk HELP please

[unknownrebelbang]

Ok, the thread's too long for me to something similar has been covered, but you seem quite impressed with it, so.......

DS2+3, 10 and 8, can sometimes be a pita at bedtime. (Sometimes aided and abetted by DS1).

They're loud and boisterous lads, and tbh most of the time they're only sitting talking, but they're soooo loud.

The problem is DH sometimes has vvv early starts and often goes to bed before them, and then is kept awake by their nattering.

What should we be saying to them to get them to show some consideration, be quieter, and ultimately go to blardy sleep?

I am ashamed to say that I brought the book about 2 weeks ago and it is at the bottom of the pile of shite in front of me on my desk.

Will make my homework for this week, to read 10 pages each night I think.

We bow to you almighty fish!

When's the next lesson? Have we done chapter 6 yet?

no interest ha swaned CW
10 si aroudn somwhere wiht ehr hand up all the time

Did it really make that much difference Gobble ?? I am sceptical I have to say.

asn doyu speak afetr not having read it nuttoid?

Sorry Cod, really tried, but just could not decode that last sentance

i said
" and you speak after not havign read the book"

Oh ...my interest hasn't waned...

how about bite sized chapter reviews every now and then?

(we can put 100 in the trolley if she carries on?... or promote her to TA and she can do all the hard work for which you then take the credit?)

lol
she does make me lol

me too

she's lolworthy

Ah yes well, you know I am lazy me, would rather let everyone else read it and try it out first and then I just might give it a go.

Tbh I am a wimp cos I know I would find it majorly hard to change things.

Am trying to think of an example...erm ok take this for example

Dd1 - Can I have ham on my sandwich ?

ME - No we don't have any so it's tuna or cheese or both.

Dd1 - I don't like cheese

ME - Right tuna then

Dd1 - Don't want tuna either

ME - Well tough, tuna it is, if your hungry you'll eat it.

Hmm and that is probably a good example, most convos are worse than that and normally include me saying 'oh fgs just do it' at some point.

Aah, have just had this conversation with dd1 who has just come in from a party:

dd1 (v tired and emotional): DS has just sat on my whoopee cushion and broken it!!

me: Aha, ahum, oh dear

dd1: But I'd only just got it. I hate DS

me: You hate DS?

dd1: Yes

me: Don't you hate it when that happens? Wouldn't it be great if our favourite toys never ever got broken and we could play with them for ever?

dd1: Yes . Can I have a cuddle Mummy?

me: Ooh is that the Dr Who music?

dd1 wanders off to watch

Miraculous! Normally, WW3 would be taking place in the Zog house right now but instead everyone's cuddled up on the sofa

nutty you have a way to go till you get to zog status

LOL I know, but don't you feel like a bloody nutter saying all that stuff ??

you cna adapt it to a brummie accent

ROFL

I am just very impatient and need to learn to bite my tongue really.

Just flicking through the book and the first examples of bad convos are so me.

ooh
go back tot he original thread

OMG i do the half listening thing too.

Need to find original thread.

TBH, sounding like a nutter beats having throbbing temples and wading in to up the ante which is how I probably would have ended up dealing with the e.g. below.

Ooh - I had a successful one the other day. DS arrived home from nursery:

DS: What's for supper
Me: Chicken and potatoes and broccoli
DS: (starting to well up) But I wanted fishy pie or cauliflower cheese...
Me: Well we don't have any fish or any cauliflower
[Lightbulb moment, as DS's lip starts to quiver more]
Me: BUT we can write fish and cauliflower down on the list on the fridge, so we don't forget to get them when we go shopping
DS: (teary smile) OK.

Much better than the meltdown that normally would have occurred .

Well...

We fell at the first hurdle, because DS2 had a bad nosebleed just before bedtime, and put us out of kilter with what we'd agreed.

BUT

DS3 went to bed two minutes after the agreed time, and DH had to speak to him just once.

DS2 then went to bed about half an hour later than planned.

DS1 stayed out of the way completely whilst all this was going on.

Hoorah!

Next step is ensuring it lasts, especially when DH is on a vv early.

Cheers Cod!

Aarrgghh, about to fall at the second hurdle, lol.

DH not yet home, so I now have to nip out just before bedtime.

So...we've negotiated what is going to occur.

Feel free to wish me luck.

you are dogin really well!

"great job" as ds1s american teahcer said all term

why thank you ma'am!

lol.

Another reasonable success!

DS2 went to bed first, and DS3 was a little bit cheeky as he went upstairs, so I thought "here we go", but no, he got into bed and read no problem at all.

They both got up a little too often to go to the bathroom, but other than that they did stay in their own rooms tonight.

At one point I thought one had strayed, but it turned out to be DS3 reading out aloud, lol, and later singing.

Went up to have a word, pointing out that this was the sort of thing that disturbed DH when he needed to get to sleep (although DH had not returned home at this point).

When DH did return (about 9.30ish) DS3 did wave out the window to him, but stayed in his room, which is a first. Usually they'd be running down the stairs shouting "daddy, we want a cuddle!" and then play up a little.

Very pleased, because the boys were not tired when they went to bed, and hadn't been very active today by their standards.

Quite pleased with myself too, because I usually shout up the stairs when they start, but I made a point of going up if I needed to speak to them.

Phew, that was long.