Afficionados of How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk HELP please

[unknownrebelbang]

Ok, the thread's too long for me to something similar has been covered, but you seem quite impressed with it, so.......

DS2+3, 10 and 8, can sometimes be a pita at bedtime. (Sometimes aided and abetted by DS1).

They're loud and boisterous lads, and tbh most of the time they're only sitting talking, but they're soooo loud.

The problem is DH sometimes has vvv early starts and often goes to bed before them, and then is kept awake by their nattering.

What should we be saying to them to get them to show some consideration, be quieter, and ultimately go to blardy sleep?

She has a very short fuse about anything at the moment. Do they have a hormone surge or something at 3.2 ish??

So, to recap, the book says

tell them how they feel
tell them how i feel
distract them

is that right?

talk about how they feel
talk about how you feel
come up with mutually acceptable plan

3's a difficult age

or as someone else once said on here, 3 year olds are wilful and just a bit mad.

ohmygod fox, you're good. You want my job. This is clear.

I bow down to your superior grasp of the subject ahundred

No, you were good. But I did one, and that was fine, I gave long and full answer but then there were MORE and MORE and I began to lose the will to live.

Think we should put the shutters down and close business for a week or so. Just use office as kind of unofficial gin palace. Will become Happy Valley round here. We'll drink gin and vermouth (what is vermouth?) and hunt game and ride horses into the sunset and shoot animals and cry empty tears into our glasses of gin. Most pleasing.

Do we have to shoot animals?

I have some slightly buddhist tendencies, i don't really like killing things, or hurting them. Except nits. And even then, i hope their nitty gritting is painless.

Anyway, i'm all for the gin and the shutters adn the empty tears.

I was a bit disappointed no one took my radical parenting techniques seriously, i think i'll hone them a bit more.

ooh cocktails, did someone mention cocktails?

I'll be jeeves to your wooster. As long as we get to wear breeches and shoot some crows.

Ah 100x. Aha Uhum. I see you are feeling sad because Miss Cod has left you in charge and you have made a total balls up of everything. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all ait and drink gin all day and do little bits of sick into our handbags? You'd love that, wouldn't you?

Isn't vermouth like a kind of dry martini?

Is it pronounced verMOOTH? Like cockerMOOTH?

vermooooooth is mixed with gin to make a martini (I think, rusty memory from a time when I knew/cared about things like that) - tis also in a Manhattan

I have memories of it being one of those things that would be stolen from parents drinks cupboards during teenage years.

foxy, you can be barperson with your superior skills and professional knowledge.

Was it just me? I mean I wasn't being funny, I really didn't know what that bit of sick thing was about.

Ok. Cocktails. Yes Boco there will be shooting, we will wear tight white jodpurs and sweat. We will drink all through lunch and sleep in the afternoon. The crying bit comes later.

omg, you see, it's the sort of thing our parents' had. And now we are talking about it. Ergo, we are entering the age when we are becoming our parents

but I'm still only about 12

No no, i'm ok, i don't have any vermouth. Have never bought any, or really talked about it until tonight. I am between 12 and 67 in any given day.

Look if there's going to be shooting i won't be part of it. What's wrong with just drinking and sleeping and crying?

It wasn't just you about the sick. I have never sicked in my mouth and up my nose - or in my handbag. I'm not really a sicky person. Not since the days of vermouth.

Ok we'll drop the vermouth for now, but might again if we have any more clients. Am very much hoping we won't. Let's just drink and cry.

Yes, was most odd that sick thing. But oddly impressive talent I suppose.

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You talked, they listened, they talked, you listened, but they didn't actually do what you asked.

I'm telling you weird them out!

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They'd probably love it for about 10 minutes then be terrified by the Absence of Boundaries, and beg you yell at them.

your day sounds a bit nice!

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Mellowma - I think it went quite well didn't it? I mean obviously you have to address the dummy-throwing bit BUT he did say 'okay I play diggers tomorrow'. Don't give up. Don't weird them out - will come back to haunt you later. And besides Boco is missing the point that HTT is actually quite weird, in a small scale way, because you're behaving differently than you used to and speaking different. Will stop them in their tracks I promise.

Am out all day with dcs today, but will take book with me and read and see if I can find you any other tips.