Help please-sex offenders could they become a parent or not? Friends husband in jail

[Lotty1880]

So my friends husband is currently serving a jail sentence for a previous relationship she had no knowledge of. The girl was between 14-15, when he married his now wife the girl reported him. Trial, guilty plea and now servicing a sentence. They have not been married long and it’s very testing as you can imagine. If she sticks by him what’s the chances of them being able to have a family?

Why the heck would she want to stick by him.

A “previous relationship” with a child?

Really?

I’m sure it is very testing finding that sort of thing out about ones husband

SS may be involved, but I doubt they would remove a child from the couple if there are no other worrying factors, which is bizarre really, but I know of a man convicted of statutory rape who is now married with two kids.

Bizarre that anyone would consider standing by a convicted sex offender though .

I understand what you’re saying but that’s their choice. It’s very difficult to support her and say the right things. Right now she is supporting him however this means she cannot persue the life she dreamed of. I’m just wondering if there is a way she can find this information out so she has it in mind. The offence happened 10ish years ago and it was a relationship her parents knew about at the time so their appeared to be some sort of acceptance. It’s quite complicated and clearly very wrong. I feel so sorry for her because she’s met a boy, fell in love got married wanted a child then this has happened.

If it happened ten years ago, she hasn't "met a boy" has she, she's met a grown man who committed sexual offences against a child. Why the hell would she want to have a child with him? How could she ever trust him?

People amaze me sometimes

I’m not here to discuss the specifics and her reasons. I am here to see if I can facilitate her with some information. Thanks.

How old was he when this happened?

22

I'd be surprised if anyone here wanted to facilitate you with information that was going to help a paedophile grow his own victims

Is she stupid?

But i don’t think that’s the discussion. She’s working through this with the support of her family and it’s up to her if she will see this suppor through, I think she is dealing with it in her own way right now and still in shock. . I just want to see if anyone knows something to give her information.

I am here to see if I can facilitate her with some information. Thanks.

I seriously doubt anyone us going to give you info on how someone who is serving a sentence for this can have a child!

I presume he will also be on the sex offence register?

*sex offenders

But we ARE giving you useful information for her. Her dearly beloved is a child abuser. She needs to walk away and find herself somebody who ikes adult women instead.

Of course they could have a child, what do you think they're going to do? Castrate him in prison? All kinds of people can reproduce, there is no morality test.

Ok I give up. My guess would be it couldn’t happen and in all honestly I would like to show her that in black and white so she draws a line and moves on to be single and meet someone she deserves. So if it was a definite no because of some law I could show her that and maybe it would give her the push I think she needs.

She needs to contact one of the prisoners' families support organisations. Their contact details are on gov.uk.

It could happen. SS are notoriously patchy in how they make decisions. As a previous poster has already told you, there are convicted child rapists out there living with children of their own.

You need to get off the fence before you become a party to something completely unforgiveable.

I am not party to anything. At the end of the day the law will be the law and rules regardless of what information I find out or do not find.

Is he on the sex offenders register? If so, social services may become involved as soon as the partner is pregnant. Worst case scenario is ss making an application to court on the day the child is born for immediate removal of the child, meaning that same day. However, it very much depends on his offence. I would advise taking legal advice from a legal practitioner in this field before any pregnancy.

I will look at that organisation thank you

If your friend and her husband stayed together and had a child it's highly likely that SS would be involved, though I don't think it's set in stone that the child would be removed from their care. I think the nature of the crime, the victims age, parole and release conditions etc are all considered.

She does need to face the reality that her husband is a child abuser though.

Thank you Jon66

Jon66 if that particular local authority is swamped with children in care and has insufficient funding/staffing/foster carers etc, this child could very easily slip through the net. They could decide (out of desperation) that because his victim was an older child, a baby isn't at risk. Children slip through the net all the time. OP is being very irresponsible supporting this woman in making some really terrible choices here.

Why would she even want to taint motherhood with this though? To have his crime hanging over her through her pregnancy, her first weeks with her newborn. Seeing her child grow up to precisely the age her husband seemingly has a preference for.

At the moment the child isn't a reality and maybe she feels detached from the feelings she will have because of that but once the baby is here I would envisage her feeling very differently.

She could have a family with a normal man - most men aren't paedophiles so staying married to one who definitely is - well it's just madness.