MIL fed 12wk old....

[sleepymama15]

My MIL has watched DC2 overnight a couple of times as he’s a terrible sleeper. She watched him last night and said he’d slept great which is unheard of. She then said she had given him custard before bed. She said she knew we wouldn’t be happy about it but did it anyway. AIBU by being thoroughly pissed off?!

This is dreadful Op and I haven't RTFT but tbh I think 12 weeks is too young to leave a baby overnight and I am surprised by this. Sorry. I know that's not the point of the thread but maybe you need to accept that 12 week old babies do wake in the night.

Just looked through my red books and oddly I can’t find anything on weaning- unless it is hidden in an obscure corner somewhere. I felt sure it would say something on the matter.

Some of these responses must be deliberately obtuse which is the no1 most annoying thing about MN. No-one would be happy with their non weaned baby being fed custard. I have a 16 week old and would be angry and upset.

Hunger=milk

I wouldn’t say I was happy with it, but I will reserve words like horrific, vile, evil, witch, for people/events that warrant it.

And overstepping by giving a baby some custard is not one of them.

Absolutely. If anyone fed a baby of mine anything that I hadn't agreed to, I would not be pleased.

In 2002 advice to me was wean at 12 weeks. HOWEVER, in this case it's not about the weaning period, it's not about the custard. It's about the MIL totally ignoring the wishes of the parents. On what planet would anybody be happy with that? Apart from Planet Goady of course.

Also, can I point out that you only have the MIL's word that the baby slept well. The custard may have made no difference at all.

Wow so many women slagging off op for "failing to notice that the baby was still hungry when going to bed"... disgusting

I don't think so..... 12 weeks old clearly should not be having anything other than milk, the baby has either coincidentally slept or is tired trying to digest f*cking custard at that tiny age!!! It's probably a bit like when my 12 week old wouldn't settle when having breastmilk at bed but when given a bottle it literally knocked her out,,, because it takes longer to digest which is why she slept longer

My red books changed considerably over the years. In 1998/99 the books say wean from 3-4 months. For my 2001/03 babies it says 4-6 months and for my 05/07 babies there is no advice at all.

"In 2002 advice to me was wean at 12 weeks."

Honestly, it wasn't!

It's been 17 weeks/4 months at the earliest since at least 1995.

Maybe she needs to be told what the recommendations are these days. Things change a lot. She may not know. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Though she may just not tell you after you've had a word. Maybe custards the answer to all sleeping problems..

well it hasn't has it? My first 2 red books say 3-4 months.

It changed in 1995.
However the recent allergy study EAT actually introduced food at 12 weeks. I cant see that they would have done this if there was any evidence of harm, it just wouldnt pass any ethics.

As far as i am aware there is no research that shows any damage after 12 weeks

The EAT study involved babies given food from 3 months alongside breastfeeding and it's thought is the breastfeeding that gives extra protection against allergies. There has not been a similar study involving formula fed babies so advice will not change any time soon

So it changed and for the next 4 years the health books and the health advisors were giving incorrect advice?

From what I have been reading around this subject yesterday and today there is no evidence that babies weaned at 3 months suffer adverse effects. The guidelines still suggest 4-6 months. Where has the not starting until 6 months come from?

People are so dogmatic and convinced that they are right. Guidance has changed over the years, and will almost certainly change again. My mother started to introduce me to solids at 10months (home made veal broth) as recommended at that time, but as I said earlier it was 6 weeks when I had my first baby.

It would be interesting to know if the apparent rise in asthma and allergies is anyway related to the time of introduction of various foods to the diet.

The 6 months guidance came in in 2003. Before that it was 4-6 months (from 1994). I think it is accepted that 6 months is what to aim for and not to give solid food before 17 weeks.

"The 6 months guidance came in in 2003. Before that it was 4-6 months (from 1994). I think it is accepted that 6 months is what to aim for and not to give solid food before 17 weeks."

Thank you. I was beginning to think I was going mad........

the EAT study for anyone who is interested

I went by what I was told and the guidance in my red books which 3-4 months. My babies were certainly less gripey once they were having a bit of homemade mush alongside bf.
I was also told that you should watch whether your baby was interested in food and snatching it from my plate happened way before 6 months.

Bruffin
I wonder if that is true!! So many children now have allergies also I wonder if it has anything to do with what mums to be can and cannot eat!

Maybe she needs to be told what the recommendations are these days.

She's knows and ignored them!!!!' That's the point

I disagree. The MIL was definitely wrong to do this without talking to the parents first but the reactions on here are completely hysterical. She HASN'T given the child crack.
The advice at the moment is 6 months. For me in the 90s it was 3 months. Prior to that For gazillions of years there was no advice. Advice is just that. A suggestion. To start ranting on about trying to choke babies and give them allergies against xyz is really not helpful. Mothers should wean there children when they think it best. Based on the current advice AND their knowledgeof there child. By the time the last of mine was born the 'advice' was six months. I ignored it. I warned her at Three months. She was happy so was I.

What is much much more valuable than sticking blindly to some rigid childcare edict in my view - is having a kind, helpful grandparent who will do overnights!

As for allergies. More kids today than ever have allergies against stuff. Far more than when I weaned dcs at 3 months. Much more to do with overprotective parents scared to let their kids near a few germs and bought up in an antiseptic bubble than for any other reason.

'As for allergies. More kids today than ever have allergies against stuff. Far more than when I weaned dcs at 3 months. Much more to do with overprotective parents scared to let their kids near a few germs and bought up in an antiseptic bubble than for any other reason.'

A severe egg, or similar allergy, is caused by being scared of a few germs? Oh FFS. Where'd you get your medical degree? Dust itself can be an allergen for goodness sake.

I would be absolutely livid.

Deciding when to wean should be 100% the parents decision. No one else has the right to make that decision on your behalf. I'm an advocate for waiting till 6months personally, but this is more about her blatant disrespect for you as DC's parents. She knew full well you wouldn't be happy about it but went and did it anyway. What's stopping her from doing the same again with other things?

I would be having firm words and I wouldn't be letting her have him on her own for the foreseeable future.

There is such a thing as maternal learned wisdom that existed for centuries before modern day western guidelines.

Alot of what my mother told me I'm now realising is true regarding children. I'm early 40s and a medical preofessional. My children early 20s and my mother is in her 80s. She really does know best!

However my cultural background is heavily geared towards communal child rearing in an extended family.