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Original poster

MIL fed 12wk old....

226 replies

sleepymama15 · 08/12/2017 18:09

My MIL has watched DC2 overnight a couple of times as he’s a terrible sleeper. She watched him last night and said he’d slept great which is unheard of. She then said she had given him custard before bed. She said she knew we wouldn’t be happy about it but did it anyway. AIBU by being thoroughly pissed off?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Taylor22 · 08/12/2017 20:49

Last person who posted apparently

Taylor22 · 08/12/2017 20:51

When I go to tag someone by using the @ icon it gives me a list of users.
The first name at the top with the OP symbol next to it is the last person who posted. Not the OP.

AssassinatedBeauty · 08/12/2017 20:51

It really doesn't mean that! "OP" most definitely means the Original Post/Poster!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

0-3 months old 3-6 months old Babies & sleep Families

AssassinatedBeauty · 08/12/2017 20:52

Are you using the app rather than the website or mobile site? Sometimes the app does things that are a bit odd.

Taylor22 · 08/12/2017 20:53

The app. It just confused me I feel so old. I'm 26 and struggling with technology!

AssassinatedBeauty · 08/12/2017 20:58

I've just swapped to the iOS app and the tagging thing is working correctly for me.

You could go to the Site Stuff talk section and start a thread to tell MNHQ that the app isn't working for you. They'd want to know which version of the app you're using and when it happens. MNHQ often pick up those threads and fix any bugs that are reported.

Desmondo2016 · 08/12/2017 20:58

To my mind the custard isnt the issue. It doesn't really matter if the kid is 12 weeks or 12 months. Nobody caring for another child should assume they can introduce something new, or dramatically change the way something is done, without checking with the primary carer. That's just basic manners and respect.

Taylor22 · 08/12/2017 21:00

Thank you I'll let them know.
Forget babies in the next few years I won't be able to use a phone.

theredjellybean · 08/12/2017 21:05

I think you are over reacting a tad.
It's a bit of custard... Your child slept well and is OK.. No harm done.
If they have a milk allergy or egg allergy they'd have it at whatever age you gave them egg or whatever... So she really didn't put your child at any great risk.
I'd be grateful that some one was wanting to help out overnight and let me catch up on sleep... Rather than berating them over a bit of custard.
And actually a relative did this to my dd aged 11 weeks when we had left her to babysit to go out for a meal. I felt a bit 'wtf' but then thought well no harm done.. And yep baby dd slept happily all night

frogmellah · 08/12/2017 21:09

If they have a milk allergy or egg allergy they'd have it at whatever age you gave them egg or whatever... So she really didn't put your child at any great risk.

Well no, one of the main reasons they suggested waiting till 6m to wean is cos it reduces risk of allergies.

ALSO, an allergic reaction in a 12 week old is obviously going to be more threatening than to a sturdier 6m old.

And anyway IT WAS NOT HER DECISION TO MAKE.

100yearsdotcom · 08/12/2017 21:23

How do you know your dc slept well? I assume you've only her word on that? I know that's a bit tangential but if she's prepared to knowingly go against your wishes then she's probably capable of lying too.

Bumdishcloths · 08/12/2017 21:28

There are some proper shits on this thread

MIL was in the wrong - she made a parenting decision that was not hers to make.

theredjellybean · 08/12/2017 21:29

Actually a study published in the new England journal of medicine last year showed that babies exposed to egg proteins and peanut from three months had significantly less chance of having an allergy to these than those who were not given them until six months.

And anaphylaxis will kill a six month child, a 12 weeker, an adult etc... It's nothing to do with being 'sturdy'

There is a difference between a child or baby having anaphylaxis to a foodstuff... This would be present whatever age you first give it, and an allergy causing say some eczema, which could be easily resolved by stopping exposure to the allergen (the food trigger)

I get why op is cross mil did this without asking first but I think some perspective here... It was some custard.. Once... And people are advocating really reducing contact possibly affecting the baby's relationship with its grandparents, the op loses vital support and precious overnight care and her undisturbed rest... Is all that worth it over one bit of custard?

Ragusa · 08/12/2017 21:32

@theredjellybean amen. Voice of reason.

dementedpixie · 08/12/2017 21:32

The babies in the studies were being breastfed alongside the early weaning. It did not change the weaning age guidance

ProperLavs · 08/12/2017 21:45

I have heard that too.

MadMags · 08/12/2017 21:50

She was wrong but the overreactions here are insane!!!

DivisionBelle · 08/12/2017 21:58

She shouldn’t have done it.

But ‘dangerous’ etc? One exposure to custard? You don’t have to add loads of sugar to custard, it can be mostly cornflour, milk, and a small amount of sugar.

My eldest was weaned at 4 months because I was working from an ancient edition of Penelope Leach.

I hope your baby is thriving, and your MIL learns to watch her boundaries, but in the end a loving granny is a good thing in the life of a child, so I would give her a chance.

AssassinatedBeauty · 08/12/2017 22:06

People are acting like the OP is planning on going no contact, when in fact she's contemplating not allowing lengthy unsupervised situations. I'm sure MIL will see plenty of the baby, just not be allowed to choose what to feed them.

MadeForThis · 08/12/2017 22:06

The issue isn't the custard. It's the fact that your mil happily gave your dc food that she knew you both would be unhappy about. It could have been porridge rice or anything.

She chose to do something that she knew you wouldn't approve of. It's not her baby to make that decision. She has lost your trust.

Luckily the baby is fine. Never allow her to look after the baby alone again. She can live with the consequences of her actions.

HappyVan · 08/12/2017 22:07

Most of us here were weaned around 12 weeks and we are all fine. I don't understand what the big fuss is about.

Taylor22 · 08/12/2017 22:11

Because many people who were weaned before 6 months now are not OK. They suffer from issues like IBS. They didn't just raise the age of weaning for Lols.

ProperLavs · 08/12/2017 22:16

I'd be interested in seeing the scientific paper that proves that assertion Taylor- genuinely.

eddiemairswife · 08/12/2017 22:20

All the hysterics make me laugh. When I had my 1st baby in 1962 the advice was to introduce solids gradually from 6 weeks; by the time I had my 3rd in 1966 the advice had changed to 3 months. All 4 of my children have grown into healthy adults with no digestive problems as have most of their contemporaries. Of course guidelines change over the years, and I never gave any of my grandchildren 'forbidden food', but the reaction of some respondents is ridiculous

cheshiremama89 · 08/12/2017 22:28

Totally out of order - and ignore the spiteful comments on here.

She knew you wouldn't be happy and she still went through with it.

I would be FURIOUS and she wouldn't be left unsupervised with my child again xx

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