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When did you first leave your child with someone?

111 replies

OnNaturesCourse · 02/12/2017 14:08

Other than partners.

I'm talking leaving for a few hours, or overnight with grandparents etc?

I am feeling a little overprotective (made to feel this way) for not allowing my DD to stay over at grandparents just yet, she's nearly 4 weeks old. She has spent a afternoon with them at roughly 2 weeks and that nearly broke me leaving her, was a lovely break but was long enough.

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LapinR0se · 02/12/2017 14:11

I had a maternity nurse 3 nights a week from when my DD was 2 weeks old but I wasn’t leaving her per se as she was brought to me for feeds.
When she was about 4 or 5 weeks old we settled the baby with the maternity nurse and went out for dinner. I lasted about 90 mins, not because I missed the baby but because I was so tired!
I wouldn’t have left her with anyone else and didn’t until she was about 11 months old

MagicFajita · 02/12/2017 14:15

My son is 5 weeks and I have no intention of leaving him with anyone other than my partner for now. I left him for 2hours when I had a hair appointment and it broke my heart , so I think any longer than that for now would be a bad idea for me.

Obviously it's your choice though, don't feel pressured into leaving your baby for the night if you're not ready.

Babybauble · 02/12/2017 14:16

My DC is 6 months and has never been left with anyone

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tissuesosoft · 02/12/2017 14:22

First time was when DD was about 3 weeks old overnight for one night, DP was about to go back to work (long shifts) and my parents very kindly had DD so we could get a full night's sleep. Second time DD was 7 months old and it was for 3 nights when DP and I went on a city break.

If you aren't ready then it isn't the right time.

ScrabbleFiend · 02/12/2017 14:22

4 months to go back to work but that was with my mum who he'd spent time with every day prior to that. He was a year before they had him overnight as I was BF and he was a high needs baby with severe reflux who didn't sleep through until he was nearly 3 Shock. 4 weeks way to young to be away from primary carers IMO.

IHaveACuntingPlan · 02/12/2017 14:23

At about 6 weeks for both dc.

Dc1 - my sister offered and I happily said yes. We had a good night's sleep and a long lie-in.

Dc2 - she had a chest infection and we'd just moved house so I didn't feel like we had much of a choice. It was November, there was no heating or hot water as the gas hadn't been switched on and the house had been empty for the best part of a year so it was very cold and a bit damp. They (both dc) stayed with my mum for 3 nights whilst we got everything sorted.

PumpingRSI · 02/12/2017 14:24

My DS and 1st child was 9 months and that was overnight with grandparents after working up from a couple of hours here and there. My DD I was even more precious about and she was 11 months. I sometimes wonder whether I broke myself over my unwillingness to share it out, but I did what was right for me. I couldn't have neared leaving them any earlier. I also did all night feeds as BF. Yes I'm a martyr, but I'm a v hands on mum who can cope without sleep quite well.

Waterdropsdown · 02/12/2017 14:24

Don’t feel like you are being overprotective. That’s very young for a long time away from you.
I left my twins with my sis for about 20 mins to give my mum a lift to the station when they were 6 or 7 weeks old. Next time I left them was when they were 6 months and my DH and I went to dinner leaving them with my parents (they were asleep so didn’t know we were gone). First “proper” daytime they were left was about 9 months for us to go to a wedding.

GingerbreadMa · 02/12/2017 14:25

Theres no benefit to the baby to be away from you overnight, tell em shes not a toy they get to demand a "go" of!

Waterdropsdown · 02/12/2017 14:26

And overnight first time was 10.5 months. It’s the only time they’ve been left overnight.

BewareOfTheToddler · 02/12/2017 14:26

First time was with my parents for a couple of hours when he was about ten days old (and asleep); they walked him round our local park while we napped!

Left him with my mum for an hour at 5 weeks while I went for a haircut.

Started using childcare at 12 months.

First overnight not until 15 months but was in our home with grandparents.

4 weeks seems very young for a sleepover, unless it's what you want.

StubbleTurnips · 02/12/2017 14:27

We had no need to be separate from DD until she started nursery at 1+, DS was about 9ms. And then not overnight. DD is 5 and hasn't had an overnight away from us.

Suits us, I know people comfortable with it very early on. Both of us weren't.

pastabest · 02/12/2017 14:28

Fairly early, definitely before 6 weeks anyway. We went for a meal at a local pub for about an hour and a half and left her with my parents about 10 mins away.

Didn’t bother me at all. I struggle more now to leave her at 10 months for some reason!

AnnaT45 · 02/12/2017 14:30

Dd1 I left at 10 weeks with my sister. It was DH birthday and I had a really tough labour and a non sleeping baby so gladly took the opp to have a meal out and to sleep. That said I had to pump throughout so wasn't that much of a break!

Just do it when you're ready, there is no right or wrong time!

omBreROSE · 02/12/2017 14:32

I don’t think the grandparents should even ask!
A few weeks?
No way.

omBreROSE · 02/12/2017 14:32

I mean for overnight. ( obvs)

FinallyARainbow · 02/12/2017 14:35

Not really the same but we didn't have ds with us until he was 16 days old as he was in hospital but I was discharged so just had to travel back and forth each day. That maybe made us more at ease about leaving him with GPs so he had an afternoon with them at about 3.5 weeks whilst I got my hair done then overnight at 5 weeks as we had tickets for a show (before his actual due date).

TeddyIsaHe · 02/12/2017 14:35

Dd was about 6 weeks I left her with my grandmother for a couple of hours when I had to take minutes at a disciplinary meeting. Then not again until she was 8months or so and went to my parents overnight so I could sleep!

BackforGood · 02/12/2017 14:37

dc1, a couple of hours at about 10 days when I had to go to dentist for some work I'd been putting off whilst pregnant. Don't remember with others - it starts to blur.
However, you are still in very, very early days. Don't feel any pressure to go anywhere without her until you are ready to. It's nice to be able to go and have a nap or a nice long bath whilst someone keeps an eye on her, but there is not need (unless you feel you need a break) at any time soon).

EssentialHummus · 02/12/2017 14:37

8 weeks old, with MIL while we had a date at Nando's Grin.

NerrSnerr · 02/12/2017 14:39

My daughter was about 8 months when I left her in a crèche for a few hours whilst I was doing a sewing course at the children’s centre. My son is nearly 8 months and hasn’t been left with anyone other than me or my husband. We don’t have family willing to babysit though.

AutumnalTed · 02/12/2017 14:43

Different situation as I still live with my mum, but she had my son in her bedroom overnight with expressed milk at 5 weeks old, one night without broken sleep was bliss! Regretted not waking up to express milk the next morning though Grin. Went out for dinner with DP's mum for her birthday at 7 weeks old for a few hours, and with my brother for half an hour whilst I did school runs to get my sisters from school too. Went Christmas shopping last night and my mum asked me to leave the baby with her so a few more hours time on my own with DP. I'm only 20 though and I think people are more willing to offer because I'm young, have offered DP's family friends who have just had a baby to take care of there's for a few hours so they can relax and they jumped at the opportunity and their baby is a couple of weeks old.
Like I said, people are definitely more willing to offer help as we are young parents and we greatly appreciate all the help.

mustbemad17 · 02/12/2017 14:43

DD was 2!! Left her with my folks overnight, was incredibly hard. I had quite bad PND & freaked out at her being away from me.

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens · 02/12/2017 14:44

Never left overnight with anyone bar the other parent at 2.5. Tell them to back off.

georgie262 · 02/12/2017 14:48

You're obviously not comfortable with it and that's fine, the first time I left my eldest overnight he was about 9 months and in laws had booked us a night in a posh hotel as a treat, we had use of a spa and treatments booked for the next day but we decided we'd rather go back to the baby after breakfast. With the second child it wasn't overnight but about 6 weeks for a long evening out. Would've been sooner to be honest but. We don't have family close by. You have to do what you're comfortable with though otherwise you won't enjoy yourself x

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