When did you first leave your child with someone?

[OnNaturesCourse]

Other than partners.

I'm talking leaving for a few hours, or overnight with grandparents etc?

I am feeling a little overprotective (made to feel this way) for not allowing my DD to stay over at grandparents just yet, she's nearly 4 weeks old. She has spent a afternoon with them at roughly 2 weeks and that nearly broke me leaving her, was a lovely break but was long enough.

IMHO four weeks is far too young for an overnight stay with anyone (unless you're hospitalised or ill or circumstances mean it's necessary.)

My parents and my OHs parents took my son for walks (30-60 minutes) from when he was about 4 or 5 days old and I slept the whole time so I didn't really notice that he was gone.

From about 7 or 8 weeks they've had him for 4-5 hours one afternoon at the weekend so I could get on with housework or go to the cinema.

I'm fine with that sometimes a few hours of peace is needed to get stuff done or just reset yourself. But overnight? When he's waking 2/3 times (and considerably more at 4 weeks) not a chance!

Have the grandparents considered how fucking tough it is to be up half the night with a baby especially when it's not their own?

My dd was EBF until 6 months, and wouldn't take a bottle until about 7 months. She was still up in the night for a feed so there was no way I could leave her.
She was probably about 10 months when I left her with anyone other than DH and was SIL when we went out for dinner.
She went to childcare from 1 year when I went back to work. A childminder first and now nursery. I am used to it now but at first it was very strange not being with her all day.

She is nearly 3.5 and never stayed away from us overnight. I've had about 2 nights away from her. DH has had more because he travels a bit with work.
We sometimes have SIL or my parents babysit. Probably only about 5 or 6 times a year.

Tbh I don't really mind not leaving her overnight. We can't really afford a weekend away or anything and she sleeps well so it's not like I don't get sleep.

Overnight they were both over a year . For the evening at around 4 months old .

The day after I was discharged from hospital I had to attend a funeral, so I think DD was 8 days old when I first left her for a few hours.

We've left her overnight once when she was 3 and once when she was 10. She doesn't like us leaving her overnight, so we try not to. If she was happy to be left, we'd be happy to leave her.

DS1 I left at 4 months old with my parents when I went back to work, I cried all the way there because it was 3 nightshifts and I only got a wee bit of time in between with him.

DD when she was 11 months old, because I was in labour with DS2.

DS2 this year (he’s 3) because DP and I went away for a few days.

That’s all overnights though, I can’t remember the first time I let someone watch them for a wee while.

DC1 was a very reliable feeder so I left her once when she was about 4 weeks old while I popped out with my DH for 2 hours, after that I occasionally had to leave her for work from about 6 months either with DH or a reliable friend. I used to feel as if I had left my arm behind.
With DC2 I had to leave him with a childminder once or twice a week from 12 weeks. It didn't feel like the same wrench as his sister was there too.
From about that time we occasionally had a babysitter but I think that the first overnight was when they were about 2 and 3. I don't think I could have subjected someone else to them if I thought there was a risk of them waking in the night.
DC3 was a frequent night waker and so was never away at night and only left really for work or parents evening type events.he was regularly with a cm from 2 in the day.

There’s no way I’d be happy leaving my 7 month old DD overnight with grandparents (or anyone else for that matter), nevermind a 4 week old! DH and I had a night out (back home by 11pm) when she was 10 weeks old and I hated it. Haven’t done it since. She’s either with me or DH.

Do what you feel happy doing. Different people are ready to leave their babies at different times. It’s normal to not want to leave your newborn baby overnight.

My dd stayed at our house with grandparents for about 2 hours when she was 6 weeks old (we went for lunch at the village pub, which was literally like 30 second down the road). My mum babysat for us for a few hours again when she was 7 months old so we could go to a wedding (it was like in afternoon while we went to the ceremony, then I came home for a bit, then she put her to bed while we went for the reception and evening do and were back home by 10). She didn't stay overnight with anyone until she was probably past 2. We bedshare, so not really safe for her to do that with anyone else, especially not my mum who is elderly and can just about keep herself alive!

Ds1 was 1 year left for a few hours with grandparents, 2.5 years left for morning in childcare and nearly 4 years before a sleepover at grandparents, 6 years sleepover at cousins.

Ds2 is 1.5 years and so far has just been left with grandparents a couple of times for a couple of hours.

The odd hour with my mum from not much older than yours, mostly so i could nap. whole day with my parents so OH and i could do paed first aid course. Now, every week with mum or husband for 2-3 hours so i can tutor.

Overnight? Given he seems to need bf every 2 hours at 5 months, not going to be for some time but they haven't (and wouldn't) ask. MIL would like to see more of him but i work on Oh day off and he's too hungry for me to express enough and well I wouldnl't be comfortable with that

Ds was about 10mo old when I left him with dm for a few hours whilst I got my hair done. I've done the odd night here and there away since, again left him with DM. I wouldn't leave him overnight with anyone else. He's 25mo now.

My DS is 4months old and the longest I have been away from him was at the hairdressers for 3hours or so but he was with DH, watching the Grand Prix with daddy lol. ( and I missed him then lol) I still would feel uncomfortable leaving him overnight with anyone. I agree with gingerbreadma it felt like some of the in laws (sil) thought of him as a "we want a go overnight" type situation as there kids had grown up and she wanted another but couldn't..but I'm just not ready yet and bf so would have to freeze it and I'm just not ready

About 3 months with a babysitter (a very experienced nursery worker)

Their kids sorry not there kids.

We used to all go and stay with my mother and she’d get up in the night instead of us. I think the first time was about 8 weeks, but we were right there in the house. The first time we left him overnight was at about 6 months, again with my mother, as we had a wedding to go to. My mother lives 15 mins away and sees him several times a week though - there’s not a chance in hell I would have left him if they didn’t already have that relationship established.

When they asked to stay with GP’s, so not four weeks.

Out of interest, would anyone be happy to leave 2 month old for 3 hours with GPs they are not familiar with.....seen twice.....?

Yep if I trusted the GPs.

How can a 2 month old really be familiar with anyone? They haven't been alive long enough.

No, Pink, I wouldn't! It's not just that baby isn't familiar with them (my baby smiles as soon as he sees my parents, but with strangers they have to smile and talk to him first), it's that they are not familiar with him/her.

Every baby has their own quirks. Mine has seen his grandparents a few times a week for hours at a time so they are reasonably good at recognising his hungry cry from his tired one etc, they also know the best tricks for getting him to nap and so on.

@BertieBotts Other that DH and myself, baby is familiar with my mum as she spends a lot of time with us. She knows her face/voice and also sleeps happily on her. I just wonder if it would affect baby being left with faces she doesn’t know. I totally trust them btw. Thanks for your thoughts.

@NinaMarieP Yes absolutely the fact that they don’t know her well enough. Also it’s been decades since they looked after a baby. My mum has admitted to learning lots from me while spending time with us. Ours is not an easy baby to get off to sleep. Was just wondering if I was being over-protective!
Thank you.

5 months. I went camping with friends for a few days. Partner held the fort.

Please don't be pressured into anything you're not comfortable with. Everyone is different. I think I didn't leave dd for a few hours (when she was asleep) for dinner out until she was about 6 months old. My mil had been offering to take her 'to give me a break' from as soon as she was conceived. She wanted time alone with her, but I didn't want time apart from my dd. Say 'no, I don't want to leave her yet' and repeat every time

I think the first overnight was when he was 7 months. It was my 18th birthday and I hadn't been away from him for longer than 20 minutes up until that point. I spent the night in a local hotel with his dad and we went to sleep early!

The time after that was when he was 3 and I was in the hospital giving birth to his sister.

Nothing except an emergency would have separated me from my 4 week old.

But everyone is different and babies are different. The beauty is, it is entirely up to you!

I didn't sleep in the same room as my baby until they were a week old - prem baby in SCBU. So on one hand I was relaxed about not being with him because that was our "normal" from the very start, on the other there's no way on earth that I would have let him sleep over at someone else's house at a month old! There's just no need (assuming that it isn't to allow you to have surgery, or attend a funeral or something similar)