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My husband drew on my baby!

324 replies

FEJ2016 · 02/10/2017 03:52

I need some perspective from someone who isn’t me- I’ve just gone to change my 5 week old daughter and my husband has drawn in black sharpie marker pen on her stomach (he has drawn a big sun around her belly button). I am incredibly upset with him. I can’t believe he would draw on our child honestly I’m dumbfounded. It looks hideous. And how am I now supposed to take her to clinic to get weighed? It looks terrible. When I have challenged him (woke him up- it’s 3am and I was changing her before her feed) he just said ‘why is there a pen there’ and ‘I was just a bit drunk don’t overreact’.
I didn’t know he was drunk or I wouldn’t have let him anywhere near our child for a start, but seriously, am I overreacting? I think it’s the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever seen I actually feel sick.

OP posts:
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CatWithKittens · 05/10/2017 10:18

Ophelia - what do you think?

In case you are still in doubt I should say that my comment was meant as a largely lighthearted comment on the part of OP's thread subject which says ".... on my baby" - though perhaps we are all a bit guilty of the same thing, as my DH says from time to time.

Whereismumhiding2 · 05/10/2017 11:44

Actually the services would give a 'shiny shit'. Sorry to disagree.

If baby had a reaction to the pen or whatever products were used to remove it (e.g. skin rash or ecczma, or an allergy triggered) and baby was presented to GP, HV (or a nurse in outpatients) (which you would do as responsible parents) and stated it was as a result of DH drawing pictures on his 5 week old newborn with a sharpie pen for his own amusement when drunk, then it would get flagged. For reasons several PPs have noted, including DH's attitude to his baby and that he did it whilst 'in drink' .

That in itself might not result in a full fledged child safeguarding enquiry, but it'd certainly be logged and depending on which LA or CSD team manager saw it, possibly also followed by an unimpressed telephone call from duty social worker.

But it didn't and hasn't (caused harm), and OP has nipped it in the bud with DH, who has realised it wasn't ok, and has promised no repeat.

I think OP's shocked & protective reaction for their baby was spot on, no harm luckily occured, she dealt with it quickly, and her DH realises it was inappropriate.

But I am surprised at the minority of PP who have been dismissive about OPs concern at this moment of poor judgement exercised by her DH.

existentialmoment · 05/10/2017 12:12

I'm in those services and I can assure you we would not.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

pictish · 05/10/2017 16:59

"it'd certainly be logged and depending on which LA or CSD team manager saw it, possibly also followed by an unimpressed telephone call from duty social worker"

Have you any idea what a duty social worker does? I'll give you a clue - it doesn't involve making chippy phone calls to someone who drew a sun on their baby's tummy with a sharpie that one time. 'In drink' or otherwise.

This thread is a corker. It's got everything...comedy, despair, melodrama and a generous helping of mumsnet madness. Smelling salts all round folks. Jolly well done.

TiesThatBindMe · 05/10/2017 17:04

CatwithKittens Farmers mark their lambs when they're dosing them etc. so they know which ones have already been dosed. Nothing to do with marking them as theirs.

Nancy91 · 05/10/2017 17:24

I've gone through safeguarding training too, but I can't remember who to contact about sunshine drawings on tummies.

Oh wait, no one. That's who you contact about this.

Pansiesandredrosesandmarigolds · 05/10/2017 17:28

But Nancy91, haven't you heard of the Sharpie Drawing Investigation Task Force?

RavenLG · 05/10/2017 17:39

This thread has been amazing. Thank you.

How many of you screaming child abuse dowse your darlings in Johnson's or any other chemical laden shampoo just because Asda sell it? Doesn't make it good for your kids.

Willow2017 · 05/10/2017 17:41

Actually, I would be taking her to the health visitor and showing her. Telling her exactly what he did. He may well be an abuser so best to start collecting evidence now.

Dear God thats one of the most ridiculous things I have read!

He drew a sun round her belly button, he did not slap her, nor kick her, starve her, sexually abuse her or any of the real incidents of abuse that could happen ffs. The pen will fade, it wont do a bit of damage, get a grip.
And thats one thing I never heard mention in all the safeguarding training I have attended over the years "If you see pen on a child report it straight away as god knows what other foul abuse their parents are perpetrating on them."

OH was an arse, he admits its, its hardly likely to happen again end of drama.

And I like Mrs Browns Boys but I never drew on my kids!

pictish · 05/10/2017 18:35

I too work with vulnerable children and also have up to date child protection and safeguarding training. I can also confirm that no one would give the sharpie sun a second thought beyond initial idle curiosity as to why it was there.

You're all fucking mad.

TheGuffalo · 05/10/2017 18:39

I hve sharpied all my children but not at five weeks, because I’m not a dick.

He shouldn’t be handling a 5weeknold while drunk at all

pictish · 05/10/2017 18:40

Aye ok then.

Pansiesandredrosesandmarigolds · 05/10/2017 19:10

But pictish, think of the (gasp) chemicals!

MumBod · 05/10/2017 19:37

I'd break his nose.

Sorry. But I would. And I'm not violent.

Your beautiful, perfect little baby Sad

What an arsehole.

existentialmoment · 05/10/2017 19:39

You are violent, if you'd break his nose. You would also, hopefully, be arrested and referred to SS with your child put on a register for at risk children.

existentialmoment · 05/10/2017 19:40

"it'd certainly be logged and depending on which LA or CSD team manager saw it, possibly also followed by an unimpressed telephone call from duty social worker

It 100% would not. Neither of those things would happen.

MumBod · 05/10/2017 19:41

Yeah, and I could also be arrested by the hyperbole police.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 05/10/2017 19:41

LOL@ loggedGrin

pictish · 05/10/2017 19:46

If you would break his nose I'm afraid you are violent, and rather disproportionately so at that. That's actually concerning, unlike a pen sunshine on a baby's stomach. But hey.

existentialmoment · 05/10/2017 19:49

You're calling someone an arsehole for a bit of pen on skin but saying that you would break their nose.
Didn't come across like hyperbole, what with the insisting you actually meant it Hmm

pictish · 05/10/2017 19:51

"I'd break his nose.

Sorry. But I would."

Is that hyperbole as most people understand it? I don't think it is. It reads like a reinforced statement of fact to me.

MumBod · 05/10/2017 19:56

Oh fgs.

I would be extremely unhappy.

I wouldn't really break the hypothetical nose of the hypothetical man who drew on my hypothetical baby.

So Social Services can stand down. One of my kids is at uni and the other one is watching telly. Their dad's nose is fine, and if it's broken, its nowt to do with me because we've been divorced for three years.

Not because I broke his nose though. Just to be clear.

MumBod · 05/10/2017 19:58

"I'd kill him. I'm sorry but I would." *

*no I wouldn't.

"I'd go mad. I'm sorry but I would." *

*I wouldn't.

existentialmoment · 05/10/2017 19:59

Then say that. It's you saying stupid things that is the problem here, not the people merely assuming you mean what you insist you actually mean.

pictish · 05/10/2017 19:59

What?

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