My husband drew on my baby!

[FEJ2016]

I need some perspective from someone who isn’t me- I’ve just gone to change my 5 week old daughter and my husband has drawn in black sharpie marker pen on her stomach (he has drawn a big sun around her belly button). I am incredibly upset with him. I can’t believe he would draw on our child honestly I’m dumbfounded. It looks hideous. And how am I now supposed to take her to clinic to get weighed? It looks terrible. When I have challenged him (woke him up- it’s 3am and I was changing her before her feed) he just said ‘why is there a pen there’ and ‘I was just a bit drunk don’t overreact’.
I didn’t know he was drunk or I wouldn’t have let him anywhere near our child for a start, but seriously, am I overreacting? I think it’s the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever seen I actually feel sick.

I must be a really shit mother. The probability of me laughing at it is high. The probability of adding a smiley face to the sub is even higher.

Ok.

Sorry.

She's a bit young for pranks, he needs to remember she's 5 weeks not 5 years old. I don't think the chemicals in sharpies are any good for anyone's skin nevermind a newborns sensitive skin, I'd be furious too!

aaaand we're back to 'the chemicals'

The thread that just keeps on giving.

rolls eyes if you read my whole post, rather than quote bits out of context, you'd see i had said if baby had needed medical treatment as a result (and I gave examples!), then it would get logged and a possible response.
But that OP had dealt with it, as it didn't and hasn't.
Anyway, I can see there are a minority of PPs that 'know better', than the considered context I gave it. And I shall leave us all to differences of opinion.

It's a fucking pen lads, get a hold of yourselves

fucking hell. i cannot even express how furious i would be. on so many levels.

never mind the chemicals (which is also awful) but what about the fact that your tiny baby is so vulnerable and completely dependent on you and he thinks it's funny to just use her body for his amusement. its fucking creepy and disrespectful to her as a person. i would be disgusted by this.

@abigailgabble meh babies are quite boring,they need a bit of help to be more entertaining.

The issue is your loss of ability to trust him now you have had an insight to his frame of mind with his guard down after some drinking.

You are furious because you have had to face the horribly uncomfortable truth that you thought you were a totally calibrated and tuned in team (marriage vows and all that). And it turns out - in some really important stuff - not so much.
Two choices - love him less and accept the consequences when you have to leave the baby in his care. Second, love him less and don't ever leave the baby in his sole care. Yes - I know - it sucks doesn't it. Welcome to motherhood.

Chill. The. Fuck. Out.

For everyone that's so outraged,have you never done something dumb in regards to your child? Never?

How would you feel if your partner never trusted you again,left you with your baby alone,logged it with the HV, punched u in the nose,filed for divorce etc?

It would definitely be flagged up. It would fall under the 'any unusual marks or bruising' that all children's services staff are trained to keep records of. Anyone saying they do this for a living and wouldn't act, well you're not doing it right.

Babies are susceptible to the following skin conditions: baby acne, cradle cap, eczema, erythema toxicum, hand, foot and mouth disease, sweat rash, hives, impetigo, milia, nappy rash, ringworm, slapped cheek and scabies.

An allergic reaction to ink chemicals for this baby is now likely at 5 weeks albeit a mild one - the baby simply has no immune system to cope with any toxins from the chemicals.

It's not about being calm or not calm, or being dumb or not dumb, it's about a responsible approach to the needs of the baby. What he did increases the risks to the baby, rather than reducing them, and part of good parenting is about reducing risk or mitigating for it.

This lady senses that - her partner doesn't - hence her anger.

I feel uncomfortable at the idea that so many mothers presumably think it's OK to draw on a baby. Can only conclude I'm wrong about the demographic. The Internet is what it is.

did anyone say it's Ok? Or have you failed to understand that not really ok is not the same thing as "OMG this is the worst thing that could possibly happen!!"?

any unusual marks or bruising'

Not a sun drawn with a pen on the belly button.

the baby simply has no immune system to cope with any toxins from the chemicals

yeah, that isn't how humans work. Try a biology book.

WTF, I don't get this! Why does everyone act like shock horror PEN on a CHILD is the worst thing ever? Not just this thread but like when toddlers draw on themselves you're supposed to be cross at them too. Why? It's a non issue.

I just don't understand why anyone would be bothered by it. It's skin. It's literally falling off and regrowing all the time. You don't need to put anything special on the ink to remove it, it will come off by itself with a combination of normal skin growth and normal washing.

And then - abuse? Never leave the baby with him again? What the actual...? What planet are you all on, FGS? It's stupid and thoughtless for sure but really? Where is this outrage coming from? (I can see being a bit gutted that my perfect newborn was marked when hormonal and postpartum, but the rest of you have NO excuse.)

The thread that keeps on giving . Are we getting a [sharpie] emoticon?
Wish I could like bertie's post not for the first time.

Oh yes. A sharpie emoticon. Make it so!

🖍👶🏻☀️

I asked DH if I was totally out of step with normal parents and at first he was horrified and went on about chemicals on skin, scrubbing off etc and reckoned if I did this he'd cart me off to a doctor!

Then he said "Wait... what did you hypothetically draw on our hypothetical baby?"

"A big sun around her bellybutton"

"Oh no that's fine"

This thread makes me feel really laid back as a person.