I haven't rtft, but I am SURE that I will be another person joining the same chorus. Get this man away from yourself and your children. More for your children's sake than yours, though from the first page of your replies, I see you are keeping quiet in situations you don't deal with because you fear that things will be worse... screams abuse to me.
How do you feel? Like your voice isnt able to be the one of reason? That all it will do at the time is make it worse. God. That makes me sad. If my husband was to be getting irate with my daughter and hitting her... I would MAKE that man see sense on his way OUT OF MY HOUSE.
Can I also share what growing up in this kind of situation does? It makes you feel worthless. Absolutely worthless. Can you imagine, the two people who are supposed to always love you? Be there to stand strong with you? One of them hitting you and telling you "if you keep being this way someone else will have you?" Or how about "keep away from me" or "come near me and I'll hit you?" Whilst your mother sits silent. When you need someone in your corner she is silent, she might as well be abusing you too! She ain't trying to stop it!
You grow up knowing fear from those who should be protecting you.
You grow up believing you can just be tossed aside.
You grow up having to flee your environment so you don't have to endure further physical harm.
I grew up in a similar situation. Myself and my sisters were subjected to abuse by my stepdad that was similar. Let me tell you how it panned out, we were seen as an inconvenience. We learnt how to keep out of these situations, one of my sisters became his virtual maid. The rest of us were cast out as soon as possible.
We all have exceptionally low confidence levels. We've all become attached to people who are unhealthy for us.
I have never felt like I fitted in anywhere, I think this comes from having a childhood where I was constantly told that I would just go into care, or someone would have to take care of me... I wasn't a bad child.
I have struggled with personal relTionships. I can't have anyone close to me.
Your child is going to become messed up in this situation.
Get him out of it.