Holding newborn too much?

[PeachBellini123]

Bit confused by this: had a visit from the health visitor yesterday. I find her perfectly nice but not terribly helpful.

DS was a bit grouchy after being weighed so I gave him a cuddle to settle him. He was soon fast asleep so sat with him in my arms.

Healh visitor said I should be putting him in his cot whenever he was tired as otherwise he'd get use to my heartbeat and smell and never sleep on his own .

I was a bit surprised at this. DS is pretty good at going in his cot at night but does need to be help until he's asleep then e
he can be put down. Surely this is okay? He's only 4 weeks! I wouldn't expect him to self settle yet.

My DS is 4 weeks old as well. Sometimes I just love him so much I feel like I'll burst. I have to cuddle him; there's no other choice! He is a very happy baby.

Keep cuddling, op.

Sometimes I still cuddle my 3 year old to sleep!!
Don't listen, you cannot hold your newborn too much, it's ridiculous for her to say that!!
Just do what comes and feels natural to you. Xx

Poor advice. Follow your instinct. I lol back on the 'glory days' of the first 5 weeks when my DD would glide into sleep just by being held. She hit 5 weeks and was rocked all day with little daytime sleep. She's better now at 7 months but is held often and needs us a lot. I cosleep abs have done since 3 months. My only regret is the lost sleep from not doing it sooner! My DD still wakes as often as she did before but we both get back to sleep quickly. My preconceived idea of her sleeping in a Moses basket/cot meant I was awake (in the end) for 1-2hrs each time she woke. How silly!

I cuddled my 5 year-old all the time as a baby and laughed at the 'rod for your own back' stuff. He still wants to co-sleep and he likes a lot of cuddles during the day... I have a baby and I cuddle her all the time too! Even if it does mean they keep wanting to be cuddled, so what? Can't have too many cuddles in the world, whatever their age!

What a fucking idiot your hv is!

IME it is not so much about following your instinct, as following your baby's

I've had a velcro baby (utterly unputdownable), a very independent sleeper who did not like being held beyond the necessary, and two who could take it or leave it.

Your baby will train you, not your HV

Ignore her. Do what feels right for you

Ignore the HV! Hold that babby as much as you can. There is nothing more wonderful in this world that snuggling with your own newborn baby. My youngest is 4mo and I could hold her for hours.

I hardly put mine down at all!
Ignore, enjoy cuddling your baby and don't stop.

I have 5dc and I held them all for probably 23 out of 24 hours of every day for the first 6 months at least. It's what they wanted. They cried if I put them down. I was more than happy to do it.

The eldest is 16 and the youngest almost 4. It hasn't done any of us any harm at all. God forbid a baby craving it's mother's heartbeat and smell!

Enjoy your baby.

Cuddle like it's going out of fashion like everyone else said. You have already figured out how wrong your hv was to say that.
It's your choice whether you challenge her or not, but I would say to her that I cuddle my child as much as I like and yes I shall bear the consequences of that. I'm quite confident but other mothers in my area may not be, and I'd like that health visitor to think twice before giving outdated advice. That way I am hoping to help other mums in my area

That sort of advice makes me feel terribly sad. I'm so glad I didn't have anyone pushing me to put my DD down when she was a newborn. She's almost 8 months old now and too wriggly for constant cuddling! That stage is so fleeting, and it's such a shame to think of any mum letting it go by battling to get their baby to go in a cot. They will only be that tiny once.

This health visitor is an asshole. Ignore this lunatic. For fuck's sake, the baby is only a month old.

I agree with everyone else.

Ignore HV - cuddle little baby!

I remember the doom and gloomers telling me I was 'spoling' my kids by carrying them round for ages and picking them up as soon as they cried. To me that was just a natural response to my baby's request for something and was the way I built up their trust.
But no, I was told they would be clingy and would never be independent.
Luckily I ignored all this and carried on.
DS is now living the other side of the world. DD 1 is away at uni and the younger 2 are confident and independent.
Parenting is such a personal journey. Why do people think it's okay to interfere?
I've had an extended version of this over home educating and it's so tiresome. We've used a mix of school, flexi-school and home ed and after 18 years, I still get the same comments questioning my choices. I've never school bashed and never questioned why anyone puts their dcs in school. I don't mind explaining what and how we do things, but it's when the inevitable "But what about socialisation?" comes up ......aarrgghh!!!
In my area there are so many opportunities to meet up for classes and socials. We could do a class or a meet up every day if we wanted to.
Sorry for long post.
Be yourself and ignore unwanted advice.

Mine is 10 months and still has most naps on us. I love cuddling him, and since I've gone back to work in particular I just want to cuddle him as much as possible! He is a great sleeper at night, probably better than most of my friends babies who nap in cots, so not sure if it has any effect at all. HV sounds a bit mad. Most of them seem to have some odd ideas!

There's no such thing as holding your baby too much, especially newborns. Babies also can't get themselves to sleep until later on (around 5 months? Not sure exactly). What baby needs is lots of love. Smile and nod at the HV but then do what feels right to you!

What a crock of shit! Cuddle as much as you and your baby want and need to. This is n important bonding stage for you both.

Thank you all. My instinct was telling me to ingore her but as a first time mum I'm feeking anxious about everything!

DS does get plenty of laying down time. He loves his playmat and does sleep (eventually!) in his cot so it's not like we are holding him 24/7. I just thought it was pretty normL for a month old baby to need comforting.

Will trust myself a bit more!

oh and I'm cuddling him right now

💞 enjoy it!!

baby cuddles are the best past of parenting! Cuddle all you want too - and grow a lovely cuddly affectionate child - mine are 5 & 9 now and both still cuddling loads - it's wonderful.

Your HV is talking rubbish. I don't know how many of these people get jobs.

Yes to trusting yourself!!

Sometimes HVs appear to give random advice. DD used to feed for an hour. No more, no less and it never got quicker and I breastfed her til she was 16 months. When she was about 4 weeks old, the HV told me I should stop feeding her at 30 mins and she didn't need any more. so I did 15 mins a side and had a miserable afternoon of DD being very unhappy. Spoke to my mum who said 'and what areyou doing while she's feeding? Resting? Good. Do what feels right '. So I fed her on demand and for as long as she wanted. Whenever she cried, I fed her! I also fed her to sleep and all her naps were prompted by a feed. The upshot was, she never used a dummy or thumb, I sometimes got very bored, especially if the remote was not close to me but read over 60 books in one year. DD transitioned well from the breast and always was capable of sleeping on her own at night (apart from the normal stealth child slipping into my bed at 3 am which happened aged 3-4). Do what feels right OP.

Really!? I was told by all MWs that you can not cuddle a baby enough up to 6 months. At 7 months still I love cuddling my LO and I get the most glorious hugs when back from work.

Ignore and enjoy your cuddles.

I was imagining my LO all grown up and then starting thinking how the cuddles would start to fall away had to have a big hug and kisses after that

With my first I had the exact same advice from my HV - I swear she actually used the phrase "rod for your own back"!! And this was only 18 months ago. At the time I was so upset by the thought I was doing it wrong.

After the first 3 months she gradually got used to being put down when I went to the loo and now she only wants cuddles when she's poorly. Enjoy it and ignore the ridiculous advice!