Struggling to cope with the fact I'm going to be apart from my toddler...

[Writerwannabe83]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what I'm looking for from this post, just some reassurance or kind words because I'm starting to feel very anxious.

My wonderful DS is 2.5 years old and next week my DH is taking him abroad for seven days (to Spain) whilst I stay at home. DH first suggested this a few months ago and my initial reaction was to just burst into tears. I couldn't bear the thought of being so far away from DS.

Anyway, we talked and talked about it to the point DH booked the holiday and I was fine about it but over the last few days I've been in tears at the thought of being separated from him for so long and him being so far away. I get a feeling of dread in my stomach whenever I think of them leaving.

DS is very close to me, a definite "mummy's boy" as the saying goes and whenever he's hurt, poorly or upset it's me he wants. When he wakes up in the middle of the night it is me he cries for and I can't stop worrying about how the separation will affect him.

Since he's been born the longest I've been away from him for is 48 hours and it made me so upset, I just missed him so much.

Yesterday I had thoughts of actually telling DH I had changed my mind and that they couldn't go. If I'm honest, I'm still scared that between now and the weekend I'm going to crack and ask DH to stay.

Is this amount of dread normal?

Has anyone else spent a long time away from your toddler and coped? I'm pretty sure that DS will be fine and I'm letting my brain run away from me with crazy and irrational thoughts.....

Empty home for me means into my PJs at a ridiculously early hour, followed by a comfort food dinner, and then a movie whilst doing things like my nails.

None of which are easy to do for me in a full house.

How are you, writer?

A day/night to myself sounds pretty appealing right now I have to admit...

Hope you are managing to enjoy the break

I don't know how I am really. I have good and bad moments but overall I am enjoying all this time to myself.

I was at work on Sunday (so the day after they left) and I purposefully stayed there until 21.45pm simply because I didn't want to come home to an empty house.

Yesterday I didn't really do anything I just stayed at home and found it eerily quiet at first but as the day progressed I found myself enjoying the peace. I spent the day watching films, reading, eating chocolate and enjoying hot cups of tea as opposed to luke warm ones.

I spoke to DS on the phone yesterday and he told me about the swimming pool and his new Paw Patrol ball and he sounded so excited about it all that it did make me feel better. DH has been sending me lots of photos (they went bowling yesterday and played mini golf) and he's also sending me videos of DS enjoying himself.

Today I'm really, really missing him but that's to be expected and after today I only gave to get through 3 more full days of not seeing him before he's home again!!

I'm supposed to be going out with a friend tonight but I would prefer to stay in and have a long, hot bubble bath to be honest, order a pizza and watch another film

Glad you're doing well OP. Just see it as a relaxing break and think how much you'll enjoy it when they come home.

Just catching up on this thread. What a wonderful mother you are. Rather than clinging onto your DS you're facilitating his adventures.

Please you're doing ok! And lovely for you to realise you're missing your DH to.

*too

Thank you cheshire - I've been at work all day again, so kind of distracted, and now I only have three more nights at home without him.

DS has continued to send me videos and photos and watching the videos really makes me see how wonderful the relationship is between DS and DH and what a lovely bond they have. As much as it makes me feel upset to say/think it I really think that me not being there is a positive as DS is being allowed the freedom to have experiences that he wouldn't have if I was there because I would be holding him back due to me being a neurotic (?controlling?) mother.

It's made me see that my DS is fine with me and although I found that hard to accept initially I can now see it as a positive. He's having a wonderful time with his dad and by allowing them this time together has actually been wonderful for them both. I have always known DH to be a wonderful dad but I'm seeing him in a different light now because now I realise that me being a helicopter parent is so unnecessary and I just need to release the apron strings to allow them to have their own special relationship. When I see the genuine love between them when I watch the videos it makes me see how very, very lucky I am to have DH and what a fantastic dad he is.

Them being away will really have developed DS's confidence and independence and it's been beneficial for me too because it's made me reassess my relationship with DS and see that me and DH bring different qualities to DS's life and those differences should be encouraged because we both contribute to DS's emotional needs and development but just in different ways and DH's contributions are just as valuable as mine.

I miss him very, very much, I still have my low moments but at least now I realise that he's just as safe and as loves when with DH as he is when he's with me.

Ah that's lovely. Not long now either. I'm glad it seems to be working out well and he's getting on ok.

Oh you made me all teary at work. You sound like a really, really lovely family.

Sorry Queen - I was feeling all reflective

Only two more nights until they are back home and I can't wait! I have a feeling that after a week with DS my DH will be looking forward to some restful peace and quiet when DS and I go to Butlins on Monday

I'm sure he will - and DS will also be looking forward to spending some time with you.

How was the reunion OP?!

It was AMAZING!!!!

He slept in the car on the way back from the airport and when I saw the car pull on the driveway I raced down to get him and when his eyes started to open as I unbuckled him his face lit up. I can't even describe how big his smile was and then he threw his hands around my neck as he shouted "mummy, mummy, mummy" really happily and gave me the tightest hug I have ever had from him. It was a glorious reunion

That made me SMILE :D

It was just sad though as they didn't get back until 7pm on Saturday and then on Sunday I had a 13 hour shift at work so I only saw DS for twenty minutes in the morning before I had to leave.

On Monday morning we had a mad rush to get ready to go to Butlins and I thought we'd have a lovely 5 days of quality time together after being separated but DS was far too excited about being with his cousins to pay any attention to me