will parents expect to stay at a 4y old's party in my house?

[RedWineSmile]

We don't have that big a house, and the invitations have pretty much all been accepted (I had factored in a fair few no's but that has not materialised)... It now looks like 10 4y olds plus my own 2. I could actually vomit thinking about it.

I really hope that parents just expect to drop their kids off and go away for 2h. That's what I thought was done, but the last party we were at in someone's home, quite a few parents stayed. And they had been catered for... I don't know if I will actually have room for potentially 10+ adults too. And I don't think I could get my head around catering for them as well. I'll be too busy leading on Head-Shoulders-Knees and Toes to be opening bottles of San Miguel and passing round cheese straws.

Thoughts?!

My husband thinks I'm mental that I'm so worried about it, but it is the first party we have had for our DS1 that has not just been a big family buffet at home with cousins to play the party games.

I have gone from being someone fairly hospitable who enjoys having folk round the house to nervous wreck. arghghghg!!!!

Oh dear, no chance will they leave 4 year olds. Get some wine in!!

Absolutely every parent will stay almost certainly, four is way too young to leave. You will have more or less the same amount of parents coming, and will need tea/coffee/cake or sandwiches for them (some expect wine) and some will stay long after the party has finished possibly too.

Book a village hall asap is my best advice.

Your house will be trashed, you will be completely exhausted cleaning before they come, and after, and making some talk whilst trying to keep the party happy and upbeat is hard work. When you know the other parents better you can do more things at home, it won't seem such a big deal after a while.

Rope in every bit of help you can get in the shape of family and friends, and don't worry everyone finds hosting children's parties a complete nightmare. Take a deep breath, a slug of wine and smile it is only two hours and counting! :)

Really user parents expect wine?!?! Yes have some nibbles out and offer a cuppa (or show them where the kettle is and leave mugs/teabags/coffee/milk out ready so they can help themselves) but you do not have to be at the parents beck and call!! It's a party for the children not the adults.

Yes it will be hard work but get organised, keep things simple and it'll be fine. Hope you're DS has a lovely time!

Yes same would expect to stay at 4. No need for anything special but I do feel a bit miffed when there's not so much as a glass of water...a cup of tea would be super!

They'll stay ... But I think what is reasonable is to fire off an e mail just say you are worried about space etc and you are happy for parents to leave them ( they might assume they have to stay) and then at least you are prepared for numbers ...

Why do parents feel they need to stay? By 4, kids are left at nursery and school and they're just fine. This seems very over-protective and surely does little for kids' independence...

Don't give the buggers wine . It's only going to encourage them next time.

Ignore the poster above, they must know some odd people! No one will expect wine or cake and they're extremely unlikely to stay beyond the finish time of the party. And no one expects you to make small talk when you're hosting the party,they'll expect you to be running the party. They'll talk among themselves. Tea, maybe some biscuits, sorted.

And not everyone finds kids parties a nightmare, I loved doing DS's 5th birthday, which wad 10 kids at our house. Yes, elements of it are stressful (invitation etiquette, jesus.... ) but if you can relax and go with the flow the party can be fun.

I think different rules apply to house parties. At 4 in nursery parents stayed at ours, once they were in reception and beyond most parents left them unless they parents were good friends of mine and stayed to help.

In sports halls or other venues parents tend to stay even for older kids as they tend to be bigger parties and it's harder to supervise the numbers involved. Plus it saves going backwards and forwards

I had dcs in late 80s/early 90s and I never stayed at a party from age 3 onwards - it was just not expected.
Parents of party child always had helpers in form of friends, grandparents, siblings etc and there was never an expectation to stay.
When did the rules change?

From school age onwards, I don't understand why parents would want to stay unless their child really wanted or needed them to! I think this is probably overprotectiveness.

I've been to a couple of parties in people's houses and have stayed. We weren't offered any refreshments (and weren't bothered) and the kids just played etc. The parents just sat and chatted amongst ourselves.
Good luck. Tbh I bet some parents will offer to help and tidy up etc (I would).

I never left my confident and sociable dd at a party until age 6, definitely won't be leaving my less confident nearly 4 year old for a good while! However I wouldn't expect any sort of refreshment as I wouldn't expect them at a party in a hall etc! I also wouldn't consider holding a 4 year olds party in my house good luck!!

I wouldn't leave my 4 year old at a party without me there. Not only that, you will be responsible for all these little ones whose parents have left them. Disaster if you ask me. If any parents do stay ( I expect most will due to the young child age) they shouldn't expect anything apart from the drink and food that's on offer for the kids there, that should suffice. You will have enough to do without catering for the parents.

We were moving house when my youngest had his 5th birthday party. I asked parents not to stay as the house was full of boxes. No one stayed. I think if anyone felt uncomfortable with this, they would have turned down the invitation.

"you will be responsible for all these little ones whose parents have left them. Disaster if you ask me."

Well we've had up to 15 unattended 4-6 year olds at parties 6 times now without any issue at all (all at home). We usually rope one other parent in to help, but 3 adults is plenty. At school they only have at best 2 adults for 30 kids! In what way is it a disaster? (other than taking you to the brink of insanity in the space of two hours, but that's the case for kids parties however you play them!)

I'd be happy to dump and run! 2 hours peace, lovely

Most reception aged parents I knew stayed with their kids. It would be very hard to manage 10 four your olds without more adult supervision.

Encourage them to leave on arrival, say they 'll be fine, and I expect you have lots to do etc. Don't have special stuff for adults. I only ever had one parent stay!

I've just done this for my 4 yo on Sunday. 12 kids, 5 parents chose to stay.....one with an extra child! Catered for kids and offered tea, coffee, crisps, biscuits and cheeky bucks fizz with cake towards the end. Gave parents option to stay on invite, smallish house but just got on with it. Was lovely, but looked like I had been burgled at the end!!!

Thanks for all the input.

I have been planning what I am actually going to do with the kids, so that I can just focus on that, and make sure they all enjoy themselves. That way, I can just get on with running a party, and if parents do stay, then I will hopefully feel less self-conscious in front of them.

I have plenty mugs for tea and coffee and can easily sort out some food. I plan on plating up the food for the kids rather than laying out a buffet, so there isn't the same option to graze on the kids' food for the adults. I am keeping the kids in the kitchen/dining room/toy room and the parents can sit in the livingroom, so less easy to get them to help themselves to hot drinks. It will take a bit of logistical effort, but shouldn't be beyond me!

My husband is totally oblivious to the potential for things to be a bit tricky and he is utterly confident that it will be great! And very easy to entertain the kids!! He tells me he is looking forward to it. Ha ha ha ha ha. He is more to be pitied than blamed.

At the end of the day: if my son has a nice day, and the kids have a good time, then my job is done. If the parents think it went well and my husband and I are still good friends....that's a bonus!

I wouldn't leave my nearly 4yo on a party. For whoever mentioned it's the same as in nursery, it's not. I wouldn't leave her with a childminders with 10+ kids either. Nursery is completely baby-proof, no drawers with stuff, no cabinets to open, no shower gels around... somebody's house is different. Even if you have baby-proofed your house, a different child might be curious about things your own children are not bothered and it's difficult to control that many kids, deal with tantrums, prevent them from getting the house upside down, etc. You are indeed brave organising this party at your house! I'd check with local sports centres and soft play areas and see if you could do it there at such a short notice. Some offer room and a bouncy castle or soft play for £60-£100 with unlimited people, some include food at around £10-£12 per kid, etc.
As a parent, I'd stay and expect tea/coffee/water and maybe biscuits, nothing else.
Let us know how it goes! Good luck!