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Original poster

Any parents that can give me help on this issue please!!? School run!!

85 replies

Overandout74 · 06/09/2016 18:59

Okay so I'm a very high risk pregnancy and currently at 30 weeks. Top and bottom of it is I have a mechanical Heart valve, aortic stenosis and suffered a heart attack 8 weeks ago. I've been told by the consultants (im under 4) that if I over do it there could be consequences and I'll admitted for constant bed rest.

My issue is I have three children (boys) all returning to school in the next few days.. So I'm left doing the school run every day.
My fiance and mum work and I've no one else to help me.

The problem with the school run is it's 20 minutes walk there and back and that's twice a day 7 days a week. I can barely Walk 10 metres without being out of breath and in pain and tbh If my consultants thought I was doing it I'd be brought in for sure.

What else can I do though I've nobody to do it for me? I don't think my mum and fiancé really understand the seriousness of if In all fairness although I've told them. They see me on a good day and assume I'm okay.

Even so they can't do it due to work.

I'm at a loss. Please any advice is appreciated.

OP posts:
takesnoprisoners · 06/09/2016 19:02

Neighbours? Childminder?

Fivetoomany · 06/09/2016 19:02

Could you get a taxi? Or bus maybe?

imwithspud · 06/09/2016 19:05

Taxi and childminders are a good shout. Also are you friendly with any mums at the school who you could explain things to and might be willing to help you out?

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Original poster
Overandout74 · 06/09/2016 19:13

I can't really afford taxis it would cost me 12 pound a day. There are no buses and I don't know any mums that live near me.
Ive tired all options I'm running out of options and feel like crying if I'm honest depressed with this whole situation.
It's been a real bumpy ride from the start.

I'm not sure about childminders and how much it would cost.

OP posts:
situatedknowledge · 06/09/2016 19:15

Ask school to circulate a request for help. Ours did it a few years ago and understandably plenty of people pitched in.

WigelsPigels · 06/09/2016 19:16

Speak to the school, maybe there is a school bus. Can't believe they don't think it is serious, you had a heart attack Confused

7to25 · 06/09/2016 19:18

Could you take them with you driving a mobility scooter?

elderberryflower · 06/09/2016 19:18

Could your fiancé/mum take them to breakfast club on the way to work and/or collect from an after school club after work?

glenthebattleostrich · 06/09/2016 19:19

Speak to the school. They'll come up with something I'm sure.

One of our TA's live on the estate and did school run for a family in similar circumstances.

WallisFrizz · 06/09/2016 19:20

Would your DH be entitled to special leave or flexible working.

Or speak to the council to see if they would fund the taxis.

BertPuttocks · 06/09/2016 19:21

Speak to the school.

One of the parents at our school was unable to walk for several months after an accident. The school collected the child themselves for a short period and arranged for other transport for the remaining period.

Your school might at least know of local contacts who could help.

isthistoonosy · 06/09/2016 19:22

I'd ask the school for help also try their facebook.group if they have one.
How old are the boys could they walk alone with a phone and a dedicated person making sure they arrive min 12min after they leave yours.

Original poster
Overandout74 · 06/09/2016 19:22

I will try speaking to school again. Although they no my situation and tbh they've been little help where the run is concerned.
They said no to a minibus service.
Looked at me with pity and basically said sorry.
I think my partner and mum want to believe I'm fine and everything will be okay they don't want to acknowledge the seriousness of it.

My partner still expects me have a spotless home and tea cooked every night. Im exhausted.

OP posts:
DixieWishbone · 06/09/2016 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melonribena · 06/09/2016 19:25

Speak to the school. We've had similar issues and staff members have helped out

XinnaJane · 06/09/2016 19:26

Your DP needs to get a reality check. Take him to your next consultant appointment and get them to spell it out. If you end up on bed rest he'll have to do everything! You must insist on not pushing yourself. If he won't look after you, you have to look after yourself.

Original poster
Overandout74 · 06/09/2016 19:28

They're 8, 6 and 4. So no chance of that unfortunately.
He taking up his annual leave already and his bereavement leave when his gran past last week.
I'm not sure about special leave but he has said he has spoken to work and they are unhelpful and won't budge. His special circumstances is to be home an jour earlier. But in all honesty that doesn't help me.

My grandad did help for a while after my attack but isn't too well himself and is 74 so he can't do it anymore

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 06/09/2016 19:28

Maybe you would be better to go into hospital and then someone would have to sort it. Expecting a clean house? Is that man made? I would tell consultants you are getting no rest, hand situation over to df and let him worry. This is literally a life and death situation. You must put yourself first.

Balletgirlmum · 06/09/2016 19:30

Someone I know had similar issues (artificial valve that got infected or something) except she wasn't pregnant. She ended up in hospital in London miles away. She had bought my business several months beforehand & I went back in to help her out.

This is serious. Your fiancé (I assume he is the children's father) needs to step in to help.

The person I know her dh had to take time off work.

RandomMess · 06/09/2016 19:30

So you staying alive and well is not worth £12 per day???

A regular mini cab booking could probably bring the price down lower than that.

Balletgirlmum · 06/09/2016 19:33

With all due respect £12 per day is nothing if you have it.

If you don't have it - it might as well be £120 per day.

Original poster
Overandout74 · 06/09/2016 19:33

Hes been to the consultants with me.
He's listened to everything.
My consultant told me to do little round the home while staying mobile and not over do it. Even put it in writing.
He took that as I'm still an able body.
He just doesn't understand.
I'm on a lot of Medication and high risk of a bleed too..
I don't think it makes a difference.
The boys aren't his biological and although he's a great stepdad I think he sees it as majority my responsibility.
Their dad only see them every second weekend and he won't budge either.

If school won't help I'm not sure what I'll do

OP posts:
RubbleChaseRocky · 06/09/2016 19:35

Speak to the school, local councils sometimes use taxis for school runs so may pay/help with the cost.

insan1tyscartching · 06/09/2016 19:35

Contact the Local Authority school transport section and the Educational Welfare Officer responsible for your boys' school and explain the situation they will be obliged to sort transport, you don't under any circumstances attempt it yourself.

Soubriquet · 06/09/2016 19:37

I like the mobility scooter idea

That could work.

You need to put your feet up. What happens if the house isn't clean and tea isn't ready for him?

He needs to face reality quickly