I think you're a bad parent

[Twiglett]

so tell me, why exactly would you open a thread like this?

how about "mummy, that car is driving right up your arse"?

My friend's triplets (5) have been known to yell 'JesusFuckingChrist!!!)
So maybe my friend isn't as cool, calm & collected as she makes out?

my son when 3yr dropped something and said
"oh bollocks"
"do you know what that means?" I asked
"yes mummy" he said "it's what you have to say when you drop something."

reckoned it would be some sarcastic thing ... i was right!

It sounded like a mil thread to me.

"My friend's triplets (5) have been known to yell 'JesusFuckingChrist!!!)
So maybe my friend isn't as cool, calm & collected as she makes out?"

Oh well i think if I had three five year olds to look after I would be doing worst than shouting JesusFuckingChrist!!! I'll probably strangle them!

One five year old is bad enough at times

At least your friend is human...

so i could say
"piss off"

i am very much dissapointed

when my dd was 3 she managed to open the front door. When I asked, in a shocked tone what she was doing she said "putting my fucking wellies on, i have to water my fucking flowers."I was lost for words....

I have a friend whose LO said sh1t. Nothing unusual there I hear you cry...

... it was his first word.

He used to like climbing in the kitchen cupboards while she was cooking. He leaned on the door, fell out, hit the floor and said sh1t.

AbsoBloodyLutely brilliant.

Ds slightly older but when 12 did following.

Looking for somewhere to park, and as usual nowhere, until I spy someone leaving a space, just about to go for it, when some other nicked it, and ds says,

" Bollocks, that f bastard twat, nicked your space, shit shit shit!"

When I had recovered, he then pointed out with angelic smile that he was trying to save me the trouble of swearing, as I always swear in the car, and he was practising for when he would drive.

Often too scared to come in car with me because of swearing

this is what mn is about! Sharing funny stories and bringing a smile to our tired faces

What? Who, me?

I didn't open it... it was already like this when I got here...

because I was expecting a tongue in cheek list of the worst things you can do to kids. you know, fruit shoots, sausage rolls, grapes in the supermarket. i was revving up with my contribution. something like "hello, my name's hatwoman and I;m a Bad Parent because....

...my dd only has one school skirt and it fell apart in the wash last night.

lol

hatwoman - lucky it's the weekend and you can throw together a new one over the weekend - maybe knitted out of carrier bags? (well if you're going to be a really bad parent, maybe the chiller version made out of string satsuma bags!)

or you could repair her existing one with sellotape or safety pins. Better still, don't bother!

only one, doesnt she ever get it dirty. mine need lots..dirty mites

yes hatmum - you really are an appalling example of parenthood

hello again. My name's Hatwoman and I'm a Good Parent cos I'm going to knit her a new skirt out of wool from my organically raised allotment sheep. I will spend Saturday night crushing blueberries barefoot to make navy dye. and I will used the left over lumpy bits to make pancakes for breakfast.

barking, absolutely barking...........

I am very proud of DS. I think both DP and I are can be somewhat prone to the term 'fucks sake'. However, always wanting to be polite and well behaved, DS (2) just says the 'sake' bit. He'll get annoyed playing and declare it. [smug]

Ds 4 yo was getting ready for bed tonight and said "shall I tell you all the naughty words we shouldn't say?" So s I was very interested to hear what he had heard at nursey I said "Ok". He said "bloody, bloody well and bloody hell, mummy" They're all mine - lol.

i hate to piss on your parade hatwoman, but crushed blueberriess make purple dye.. you dont want your darling child to stand out and be made fun of, now do you?

she's going to stand out anyway. her school skirts are meant to be grey but I don;t have any grey berries on the allotment...

Just send her to school in her home clothes.
Great thread.