I think you're a bad parent

[Twiglett]

so tell me, why exactly would you open a thread like this?

ahhh, thats easy, just wash the natural wool skirt with some black clothes...

pmsl! this thread is so fab! Well done hatwoman. (I wanted to wish you well before they take you away)

My ds1 (age 13) was getting on his high horse about a classmate using 'the C word'.
I thought this seemed quite extreme language even at that age so I asked him to clarify - fortunatel he meant 'cr*p' Phew!

Once caught dd singing "fuck fuck fuck fuck" over and over to herself whilst playing with her dolls. She looked so shocked and absolutely devastated when i came up behind her and asked what was she singing! Bless her she's known lots of 'grown up words' since she was quite young but never uses them, she is much too good!

Ds on the other hand aged 2 coming up 3 went through a phase of saying fucks sake quite alot, and so much more clearly than anything else he said!

Couple days ago dd came in and said "Mummy ds said the grown up word that daddy says in his car!" Didnt like to ask what it was as could have been anything!

Cars have alot to answer for, not bad parents!!

Hatwoman - whats wrong with grapes in the supermarket???

great thread v.funny.
I took ds to the ball park today he ran around shouting dick head .
I must be a bad parent everyone was looking at me.

... because my cute little nickname for DS1 was "poofer" ... until someone in my playgroup who'd moved here from the UK told me what it means

... tosser, wanker, bollocks, bloody ... all are meaningless here in Arkansas, USA.

The worst I say is "darn it." So maybe I'll teach him "bloody"! That'd be considered cute.

I'd get, "Do you let him watch BBC? That's so educational!"

Hey, he could get away with saying fanny too! Teach him to say "same sex marriage" though - that'll really shock them!

I have a sister in Indiana and her little boy would be sent home from school if he said as much as damn. Must be a real eye opener for him when they stay here!

Another funny - my nephew used not to be able to say r. He had some new shoes with rockets on of which he was very proud. If a dear old granny saw his cherubic curls and cooed at him she might just be lucky to get him to reply with "fuckit" as he pointed to his shoes with a big smile! When he first said it in front of me I thought he was copying me until I worked out what he was talking about.

sunnywong (were you suzi?) - PMSL at your 'London words'.

Madora - my DS used to have trouble with TR - so tractor was Factor and trucks was.....

teehee

LOL Sugarmagnolia - Now in Maine or San Fran, that'd be okay.

"Fanny" is a bad word? OMG. Who woulda thunk it. But what about that Queen song? "fat bottom girls .."

marls, dont forget the rest of california, washington, and new york... but of course not arkansas or texas. ha!

Unless you're here . BTW that's where my bootmaker lives - LOL

Marls - fanny does not mean bottom (fat or otherwise!) in the UK, it refers to an all-together different part of the female anatomy! And I think the correct pronunciation is poofter (with a t) - who new mumsnet could be so educational.

Sugarmagnolia - that's hilarious. Old women are the ones who use the term "fanny" here ... they mean it to mean "bottom" ... I had NO IDEA it meant the other thing!! You know, this really should be included in Fodor's ... we make bad enough fools of ourselves already ...

"poofter", eh? Good to know. (whew; I'm not so bad then! ).

I taught dd1 to call it her fanfare!
She phfl when in one of her stories there was a trumpet fanfare for the prince and princess.

bump

bump

fanny belt always makes me

Scene 1 Computer loses well thought out, nicely written but unsaved letter.
DD(20 mnths) - Mummy said, "Fuck!Fuck!Fuck!"
DH - She was just saying what ducks say, "Quack, quack, quack!"
DD - (contemplates this ready to bring up at the next inopportune moment.)

Scene 2 - Next Inopportune Moment
Grannie - AH look at the all the ducks.
DD - Fuck!Fuck!Fuck!

Fortunately Grannie is slightly hard of hearing and worldly unwise enough not to notice.
Phew, not such bad parents after all...

calm - love it!

Hatwoman - if the sheep eats the blueberries the wool could ready-dyed?! Or you could take one white and one black sheep for a grey skirt - even better parent (but no pancakes)

My ds used to call 4x4's "vancars" much to his grandads amusement.

DD1 was 18 months old when the HV popped in to see her new baby sister (3mths). She was being angelic and building a tower of blocks, as it started to topple she kicked it over and shouted 'oh bollocks' aaargh

Also, DD1 (now 4.5) was sitting in the back of my Dad's car when someone cut him up, surprised at his lack of response she sadi 'Grandad, aren't you going to call him a stupid, inconsiderate wanker?'

Finally, I know I am the worst parent, because when we get home from school, I make DDs (3 and 4) watch deal or no deal, they now cheer when a blue box is opened and groan at red ones being opened