I'm going to try to be a more positive and less shouty parent. Anyone else?

[Misty9]

I have a problem with controlling my anger. There. I've said it. I blow up too easily and shout too much. I stop short of physical violence. But only just :( I never knew how angry I could feel in response to my children's behaviour.

I am committing to change. Heck, I help other people do this for a living! So I do know better. But practising what I preach is not easy. So I need to try harder.

I'm starting with laura Markham's book and might enrol on her online course. And I need to spend less time on here.... I also need to find better coping strategies when I am stressed other than crying and eating chocolate

Anyone else struggle with anger? What do you do to address it?

I fell off the "no shouting" wagon weeks ago misty

The youngest two fight like cat and dog atm and cannot be left together longer than five minutes. It is wearing.
We are family viewing Eurovision tonight, that should be fun. I give it ten minutes

I don't have an answer right now. But I did have a flashback today to my mum literally gagging me when I was little

Have some and more from me, Misty! It has been a tough couple of weeks - still badly sleep deprived so everything feels more difficult than it should be. Am feeling strange today, kind of disconnected from my older DD... She is not getting enough sleep at the moment and it's making her behave out of sorts... Sometimes it feels like I've got some random imp in my house rather than my child...

Hello, thank you for this thread - can I join?

I too am a shouty mum and relate to so much posted here I feel so awful about it at the end of the day and promise I will do better tomorrow but often don't. My DSs are 4 and 18 months, my eldest has always been dramatic and intense and I've struggled but the last 3 months or so I just seem to be getting worse and worse. I feel such rage at times

I think part of the problem is I'm so tired. My H has chosen to do something that means he is away a lot for very long periods and out 7 days a week. I have reached such a point of resentment and anger at him and this seems to spill over. I feel so ashamed and sad and guilty. And just so exhausted.

Anyway thanks again for the thread and I hope we all have a cheerful day tomorrow

ilovecrumpets mine are 14, 5 and 3 and I do know what you mean about resenting dp's absences. I am keeping my fingers crossed that three years from now at 17, 8 and 6 there'll be some kind of normality in my household....
Hang on in there love. I am doing the "just try and find one positive out the day, however short" right now. Today's was 15 minutes of passing a balloon between me dc2 and dc3 in shared laughter before it all went to shit. Yesterday's was gratitude that the fire brigade didn't come out when I burned cookies in the microwave.

I'm joining in - I need to address my shouty-ness especially now its summer and the windows are open

You made cookies kimmy - there's your positive! Welcome aboard the shouty bus ilovecrumpets and I think your situation sounds really tough so don't be too hard on yourself. I have no such excuses as both dh and I work part time (I start a new job next week) and have the kids equally, and he does the bulk of the cooking and all the early mornings... I really have no right to be losing my rag so much :(

Thanks everyone, whilst I'm obviously not happy others are struggling it is reassuring to find this thread - Kimmy your cookies made me laugh.

Tbh Misty I've always been on the quick tempered side so probably would be shouty anyway I just wish I knew the secret of staying calm. Still tomorrow is another day and I WILL NOT SHOUT

I didn't misty they were milka cookie sensations, better warmed up allegedly! 800w 12 seconds on a napkin. I put one in a 700w on said napkin for 25 seconds. Billowing smoke, windows open, kids screaming, husband taking microwave out of flat cheesing it down three flights to dump outside before alarms go off (400 euro fine each time). Oh well...! We are enjoying Eurovision though, me and 14year old and do, the babbies have fallen asleep. Result!

misty you have a right to your feelings love. with your new job.
It's now Australia on Eurovision. As my favourite blogger Chris Rubery tweeted: ("oh Australians really like Eurovision. Let them in")
" I really like Mark Ruffalo but if I tried to insert myself into him there'd be trouble!"

I've only just found this thread and I'm in!!!!!

Very spirited 7 yo DS. I wanted him assessed for ADHD when he started school, but a lot of discussion with GP, school nurse, teachers etc led to decision that he has no abnormal behaviour, as his behaviour at school is largely very good.

Very intelligent/bored/can't wait to start school 4 yo DD who gives as good as she gets.

I now tend to override any "niceness" and go straight to yelling at the most minor misdemeanour. Need to break this! No support from DH, he just withdraws from the situation.

We are currently in a Premier Inn in East Yorks, as we are heading to the coast to look for puffins. The room was booked months ago and was cancelable until 1 pm today. It has been the subject of much bargaining and threat over the last week. So far the DC have been ok today, adult voices mostly stern rather than shouty. I'm hoping a break from the norm will start to break the cycle of yelling.

You're not all sharing one room are you bikerunski ? I speak from bitter experience...! Puffins sound fun though :)

ilocecrumpets yep, my DH is also away during the week... Around Xmas he was working weekends as well and then ill from overwork - I had some really tough days!! I don't know how 100% single parents do it.

And I also find when I get angry with my DD1 it can be caused by other frustrations. Though she has a way of looking at me before doing something I have asked her not to do that sends me positively potty.

Ahh yes, all in one room. Premiere Inn Family room not bad actually. Went out for dinner. Children were lovely, occupied by word search/drawing etc on paper menus and crayons provided. DS declared "Ask" his new favourite restaurant. All bundled into bed about 9ish and watched Eurovision for a bit. All asleep by 10 (except me, after 3 years of the World's Amazing Non Sleeping Baby, I have forgotten how to sleep). I sneaked off early for a run, came back and found the DC watching cartoons in bed and eating sweets. Breakfast was OK (distracted by blister packs of nutella and peanut butter..).

Only had one yelling fit at DS to get out from under the bed an die were trying to leave. Puffins seen, just got home. SO far today has been quite calm.

"an die" should be "as we".