6 week old baby fell off the sofa. I'm devastated

[wtfih]

Hi,
Last night I fell asleep while breastfeeding my baby. I felt like I was dozing off then heard a thud and baby crying. Woke up in shock to see her tummy down on the carpet.
I can't shake off the shock I've been through and can't stop crying. I don't know know what to do anymore.
She stopped crying when I put her on my breast. Since then (8 hours ago) she's been fed a few times. She smiled, responded to our voices, kicked her little hands and legs, followed us around with her eyes. She's been sleeping for most of the time but she normally does every morning.
I can't see any bruises and can't feel any bumps on her head. She's been posetting after feeds but she does that usually. When they say go in if they vomit they mean actual vomiting, right?
She has been sleeping in my arms since birth, she was low weight so I feed her on demand. I can't stand seeing her cry and every time I try to put her down she cries a lot that's why I let her sleep on me. I've been extremely tired these days.
I can't stop crying, can't believe I let this happen she means everything to me and I can't believe I could let her get hurt :((
I can't stop thinking about it wish I could turn back time or wake up from this horrible nightmare

of course I felt utterly shit about it, and so do most people, but its pretty much a rite of passage.

Anxiety is such a bear to deal with! It really is best when feeling these parenting-related anxieties to remind yourself of the resiliency and amazingness of babies! Do you know what they tell you to do if your house is on fire and you're on the second/third floor? The safest thing is to throw the baby from the window! THAT's how tough they are. Babies seem quite delicate, and they are in some ways, but babies can also deal with many things grownups simply cannot (like higher fevers, drops from higher heights without broken bones, and so on). What you did falls squarely into the category of "things that are probably worse for adults than babies."

I was reminded of the greater resilience of the very young recently, when I fell and skinned my knee. It's a totally awful thing to do as an adult, hurt for weeks, made my knee ache--yet I remember doing the same thing from ages 3-10 and barely noticing before I got back up. Force equals mass times acceleration, and so babies and kids simply don't hit the ground with as much force as an adult would. I'm telling you all this because I'm an anxious person by nature as well, and these are some of the ways I've worked through similar incidents.

All sounds very normal to me for something that has just hapenned recently and your first baby. Important thing now is to chill and get some rest and don't dwell for too long x

Have a 5w old. Currently feel like I am useful only as feeding station and mattress..

Friend got me one of these <a class="break-all" href="http://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=CKHkHSfX6VZ2HGYHp7QaQg5uADta82cwH5vDRgpgC8tTon7MBCAQQAyCqr-ITKApgu8agg9AKoAHG0rz4A8gBB6kCRolPHvMRuj6qBCpP0KRB6DFVz66Z2S0tcZJYmupDBS5Xp2CjjJzLq0B1IWJA4Qtv0hO28b2ABZfgvAvABQWIBgGgBibYBgKAB6KtwweQBwOoB6a-G9gHAeASmp6r7NytqMPiAQ&ohost=www.google.co.uk&cid=5Gi3BnECwDQwuZUQVZ5UHe9mTyA60BxsIVT2bqI3mYfEX1v4&sig=AOD64_3Z0T7emr5q18ob-AmKrnTcmKlyGQ&ctype=5&clui=5&rct=j&q=&ved=0CCQQwg9qFQoTCKyem4rJ_scCFSkq2wods-UHxw&adurl=www.preciouslittleone.com/product-information/43/17251/summer-infant-slumber-buddies-(frankie-the-frog)/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=CKHkHSfX6VZ2HGYHp7QaQg5uADta82cwH5vDRgpgC8tTon7MBCAQQAyCqr-ITKApgu8agg9AKoAHG0rz4A8gBB6kCRolPHvMRuj6qBCpP0KRB6DFVz66Z2S0tcZJYmupDBS5Xp2CjjJzLq0B1IWJA4Qtv0hO28b2ABZfgvAvABQWIBgGgBibYBgKAB6KtwweQBwOoB6a-G9gHAeASmp6r7NytqMPiAQ&ohost=www.google.co.uk&cid=5Gi3BnECwDQwuZUQVZ5UHe9mTyA60BxsIVT2bqI3mYfEX1v4&sig=AOD64_3Z0T7emr5q18ob-AmKrnTcmKlyGQ&ctype=5&clui=5&rct=j&q=&ved=0CCQQwg9qFQoTCKyem4rJ_scCFSkq2wods-UHxw&adurl=www.preciouslittleone.com/product-information/43/17251/summer-infant-slumber-buddies-(frankie-the-frog)/

Slumber buddy and the heartbeat sound really works for her.

We also suspect reflux, posseting etc but also egg sensitivity as I finally spotted a pattern from ice cream and brioche but again she's growing and not too grumpy when feeding but a decent amount comes back with some complete feeds. Colic reduced massively when I cut out eggs from my diet so it might be worth keeping a food diary to look for patterns.

I have to admit to occasionally letting her cry while I am on the loo or grabbing lunch I can eat 1 handed -DH reminds me I need to eat and drink to feed her which makes me feel a lot better about leaving her in the moses basket with the monitor on while I see to my own needs.

I think they are designed to make us need to care for them but it's a symbiotic relationship so caring for ourselves is essential as well!

Sling is good for doing things around the house - can't make myself cook but can do non "dangerous" tasks making it a sanity break for me!

You poor thing. It is RUBBISH having a baby sometimes! Pure pure sleepless hell. made a million times worse by your hormones making you super weepy.
We have nearly all dropped babies and felt horrific about it afterwards. Don't go from worrying about your baby to worrying that you were too worried- you are perfectly normal just completely exhausted and hormonal.
My midwife showed me how to feed lying down and that has been my lifesaver with DS. Persevere and you will crack it and then you will both sleep. Sometimes I don't even wake up when DS feeds now.
GP sounds like he doesn't know much about breastfeeding (I'm a GP and only know what I know about Brest feeding from having children- medical school does not teach you about it) I'd ignore him and feed your baby if you think she wants to feed. Give la leche league a ring if you've got any feeding worries or have a look for a local support group- they can be brill
Absolutely no harm in a dummy at this age. Give it a try.
You are doing brilliantly!

Glad you spoke to health visitor and GP.
All the previous advice about taking care of yourself is very good. I'm on my second baby with a small age gap and I'm afraid despite my best efforts the youngest does cry at times when I am meeting needs of the toddler / looking after my own basic needs. But she's still a really happy baby.
If you're frazzled, hungry and dehydrated you are not helpful to your baby. Equally a shower and hair wash can make you feel so much better, the earlier in the day the better I find.

ps I hope that having had advice on this thread, heard how many folk this has happened to and had your baby checked, you can rest a bit easier tonight and tomorrow will be a better day

Op, I'm a bit worried about you to be honest. I think you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be the perfect mum, when it really doesn't exist. You are doing a fantastic job raising your DD. Please take care of yourself though, you are important too

I'm feeling a little bit better tonight. I have no appetite though and that's shit because I need to eat to bf.
Will try the side breastfeeding tonight and I'll make it work as I don't see her sleeping in the crib anytime soon.
I've had a hell of a day today!

I know I've said this already, but thank you again to everyone who replied, you've helped me stay anchored in reality
Hv is popping in again tomorrow morning, to check on my mood I suspect.
I dread going to bed tonight, today I've relived everything tens of times already.

Glad you are feeling a little better, please don't beat yourself up though - it really is a right of passage, I e never met a parent whose baby didn't fall off the sofa or bed at some point. It really does happen sometimes.
Be honest with the HV about your mood and feelings tomorrow, she is there to help. You sound a lot like me at 6 weeks post partum, I was very critical of every mistake I made, weepy, and feeling like a failure as a mum. I had a chat with my Hv and GP and they were able to help a lot.
I noticed you said something earlier about them flagging you for this (or similar?), I promise they aren't interested, they know you are doing a good job. Anything you say to them, they'll use to help you. They're on your side. Xxx
Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight xxx

What 99percent said about being 6 weeks postpartum is a good point. Both times round I have been weepy, exhausted and self-critical around 6 weeks. I think you've come down from the initial excitement of having a newborn, the reality of sleep deprivation is kicking in, etc. It passed for me but do make sure you monitor it and keep discussing with your health visitor if need be.

How are you feeling today wtfih?

I am better. It's been an hour since I last thought about the incident and that's good!
I slept so well last night I stil can't believe it! Tried the side breastfeeding and it worked. DD fell asleep at 10.30 last night and I shortly after. She woke up at 2 and then at 6 and I was up with her 20 min or so each time. It was like a dream
She was really grumpy last night and difficult and I found it hard not to worry and associate her mood to "the incident" but dh was there to remind me she's been grumpy for the past couple of days anyway.
This morning she has been very awake and smiling so I'm relieved.
I'll probably check on her responsiveness, eye movement, etc for a very long time from now on though
The hv just left. She said she is worried about my mental health because of how I reacted yesterday probably but I did promise that I am ok for now and will seek help if I need it.
We are going for a walk now, we've run out of nappies and mummy can have a full fat hot chocolate with lots of cream on top and hazelnut syrup and a warm croissant

Thank you for checking on me

I'd get a dummy and look into cosleeping. I used to have a cot side-car attached the bed and go to bed at the same time as DD. I would lie with my head close to her tummy, hold her hand, rub her tummy, etc. so she would know I was nearby. I would then close my eyes so she would copy me. You can also cosleep with her in the crook of your arm. Google safe cosleeping methods.

Feeding on the sofa whilst tired is dangerous, so please don't do that any more.

I think all babies fall off the sofa at some point - it seems to be a right of passage for both parent and baby. Glad she's okay.

please don't sleep with baby on sofa - very dangerous indeed for baby - if you are a light sleeper and not ridiculously tired, it would be okay to feed lying down on your side, your head on pillow, baby feeding, and have a doze off here and there IF no heavy bedding/baby not on inside of bed or at risk of falling or being rolled upon/no medication that makes you extra groggy, etc. You can also get bed rails that stop baby falling out, and better still you can get cots that you can clip to the side of your bed. 6 weeks is a very hard time, hang in there.

I think you've overreacted, but only to the extent that ANY mum of a newborn would, if that makes sense! :)

I think GP is outdated with the remove baby after 20 mins advice.

I'm so glad you've got the hang of the side feeding :)

And you don't need to eat well to make good milk, that's a myth. Eat what you feel like eating. If you don't eat at all, then you'll feel crap but that's more about you than the baby. Don't worry!

Oh I see about active suckling - you should follow baby's cues, so if you take them off and they are happy, that's fine. If they are still rooting then try the other side.

Yay! Glad you're feeling better.
Keep an eye on your mood and shout up to someone if you think you're low/anxious but I think you reacted like any mum of a newborn. for you

Leghoul - RTFT. Op is already feeling bad enough as it is, she doesn't need you making her feel worse thank you very much.

Wtfih - glad you are feeling a bit better today and that the HV popped back to check on you. Definitely keep an eye on your mood and call her if you aren't feeling yourself. It is very easy for these things to escalate without you realising. Hope you enjoyed your hot chocolate!

@AlisonWunderland she’s not asking for backtracked advice, or opinions of how she can do better… she was looking for advice from women In a similar situation.

@Csalee1018 I gotta be honest I don’t think the OP is looking for anything all these years later

When one of mine (can't remember which) was about 3 days old. I was carrying the Moses basket by the handles & let one of them slip out of my hand. I watched the baby tumble out in slow motion & land face 1st onto the floor
I phoned the midwife @3am, she came round bless her heart. All was well. I can still see it now. Don't beat yourself up

Ah bugger. Missed the posting date🤦‍♀️

Am sure op has got over it now her dc is 5 years old!!