I can't take this anymore...........

[emmatmg]

I have just lost it BIGTIME with DS1 and I simply can not see away through the shit I have to put up with everyday.
He never listens to me, and unless I shout he'll carry on ignoring me. If I'm trying to talk to him about why I'm cross with him for whatever reason he laughs at me. Yes you did read that right he laughs at me......in my face virtually.
I've tried talking to him, asking nicely, praising him, begging him(!) rewarding him, star charts, one to one time,........pretty much everything and I know it's not the answer but smacking him too.

I was cleaning his teeth and he always complains regardless of how I do it but as he needs a filling I have to do well before it get worse before the appointment. Anyway he complained on and on and I tried to tell him again how important it was because of his filling, same as I did this morning, last night, yesterday morning( you getthe idea) and was getting increasing ly annoyed about him whinging and me having to say it all again and he starts sniggering and giggling at me. Believe me this was just the pinacle of a totally shit day that started at 6:00am and I'd really reached the end of my tether.
When I say lost it I really mean it. I was screaming like a banshee at him, REALLY screaming that I can't do this anymore, and I honestly feel like I can't. I just don't know what else to do. I hate it whe he laughs at me, it drives me absolutley insane with rage, I hate shouting all the time, I hate the constant noise that we all make trying to get through the latest 'incident' and I hate the fact that I am getting to the stage where I can't be bothered to be nice anymore.

I feel like I'm becoming invisible in this house and I have no idea how I can gain some respect from him. He would never do behave like this for anyone else, it's just me. Everytime I shout I think what a horrid memory he's going to have of me when he's older and that just kills me but then the behaviour continues and the shouting starts again.

I've sat here for about 40 minutes trying to do this and I still can't get the words right. I think I'm ranting more than asking for advise to excuse my drivvel.

As of today we have re-instated an old inititive for good behaviour.

Pocket money.
DS1 will have set jobs to earn some cash and any naughtiness makes the amount smaller.

Actually , I think that's called blackmail

Blackmail I think! who cares as long as it works. larxxs

carrot vs. stick

Emma,

Major sympathy for you - I have similar problems with cousin who is 4yo - I look after her a lot and she's starting to get v cheeky and pushy - sometimes I think it is to get me to shout and bawl at her just so she can then ignore me.

The only thing that works for us is to make a specific threat and regardless of cost to us, carry it out. I've turned the car round after driving 40 minutes to the beach and driven another 40 mins home with her wailing in the back because she wouldn't stop hitting/teasing nephew. I've literally thrown every single box of crayons and colouring books in the house in the bin when she wouldn't stop breaking the crayons into little pieces (very wasteful but effective) and many other things.

I know this must be a million times harder when it's your own child and you have other children to look after as well, but make them realise that you really don't care about the consequences, you'll do what you say, even if it makes you feel like a total b*tch some days (I know I do). I feel like I am being so harsh it's untrue, especially when she comes crying to me for cuddles because there's no one else there, even though I'm the bad guy. I look at her and think "aw, bless her, she's only a baby after all" but it only takes a moment to remember that 2 minutes previously she was laughing in my face and making me want to kill.
I cannot wait for this joy with my own babies!!! I sincerely hope it gets better soon for you and all the other mums out there who are having the same problems.