My kids are gigantic entitled lazy gits, is it too late to turn them around or are we all screwed?

[Barbarella]

We have a nice house and life
Plenty of cash
Cleaner comes 5 times a week
Nanny also here after school, 5 days

Cleaner is off over easter - I've just realised that none of them pick up after themselves AT ALL. Because cleaner or nanny always do it

I'm at home for ten days and am horrified by what entitled little swines they are. WWYD?

Thread prompted by realising that in downstairs study there are

3 glasses
5 empty chocolate wrappers
Several cushions brought from another room

We both work FTOTH so no cleaner or nanny not an option
3 children

how old are they?

How old?

Come up with a plan and involve the cleaner/nanny. Tell them that they just don't pick up - cleaner cleans what she can/what's most necessary, but if the bedroom needs tidying before it can be cleaned, she leaves it. The nanny is childcare, not a tidying service. Get them on board - tough love will cure it.

Your cleaner probably needs a pay rise.

How old are they? I would give them some chores to do, make sure they tidy their things up for the cleaner coming and ask the nanny to stop picking up after them and help enforce the new regime

What ages are the dc? Me and DH work ft out of the house and have no cleaner and don't live in a tip...(have 2 dc)

Kids are 18, 15, 11
Nanny is paid way over going rate and it's understood she's a housekeeper also

Could you reduce the frequency of the cleaner?

You don't say how old your dc are but if you are all out of the house, how dirty can your house get for them to come so often?

Does the nanny not tell them to pick up their stuff?!

Tell them to tidy up after themselves. How old are they?

Really? Have you not told them since tiny that a cleaner cleans doesn't tidy? And a nanny cares for them doesn't tidy or clean up?

We have a cleaner. I tell mine she has full permission to put any of their stuff in a bin bag or up the Hoover if they leave it around where it shouldn't be. They aren't that old either.

mine are like this and I have neither cleaner nor nanny so not sure why I am posting as I clearly have no particularly good advice. I think it will have to become important or useful to them to put rubbish in the bin etc. You could maybe achieve that by making pocket money/games time/something they value dependent on cleaning up. In my case I may have to wait for them to grow up and that may not even be long enough

They are well old enough to realise they need to tidy up, one's an adult.

Well, the trouble is that the cleaner DOES tidy, always has done

I'd enforce a new regime that involves not buying any of their favourite food unless they clean up after themselves! So tell cleaner/nanny to leave what they leave and if you get home and stuff is still a mess then the next day there's nothing appealing available in the kitchen!

Stop their money and I hope you get board from your 18 yr old or of not stop that money as well.

Fastest way to train a teen by cutting off their money.

I'm very embarrassed - they will for eg eat a packet of crisps
Leave the packet in living room x 3
Cleaner will remove it
18 yo leaves plates etc upstairs, cleaner removes
None of us does any washing or ironing or folding, cleaner does it all

How are they at other people's houses?

Thank you all, appreciate this - agh, monsters we created?

Nanny AND cleaner?!

Lucky you.

LP here, do it all myself....

I have been known to switch off the router until certain standards of bedroom cleanliness have been reached for my teens.

Depends how you look at it - hopefully you have motivated them to work hard at school, get lots of qualifications so they can earn enough to also pay a cleaner etc!

I am terrible at picking up after myself, my Mum tried to make me but it just isn't on my radar. Drives DH crazy (understandably so). It might be too late for your 18yo

But maybe the cleaner appreciates her job with you, needs the work, and crisp packets and glasses aren't a big deal. I wish that was the worst I ever clean up.

That's not your cleaners job. I hope you're paying him/her good money tbh. Cleaners are there to create a clean environment.. not to clean up after lazy gits.

I don't mean this harshly - but aren't you perhaps over-catered for? The cleaner, fair enough, the nanny/housekeeper - fair enough. But both, for children who are 11 up to 18? How are they ever going to learn any independent life skills? How will they cope at Uni?

I sound like I'm having a go, and I'm really not. I can see how you would have needed both when they were younger. I'm just trying to suggest that maybe you're in a sort of habit that needs changing, and that the over-catering isn't good for them.