My kids are gigantic entitled lazy gits, is it too late to turn them around or are we all screwed?

[Barbarella]

We have a nice house and life
Plenty of cash
Cleaner comes 5 times a week
Nanny also here after school, 5 days

Cleaner is off over easter - I've just realised that none of them pick up after themselves AT ALL. Because cleaner or nanny always do it

I'm at home for ten days and am horrified by what entitled little swines they are. WWYD?

I guess if the cleaner does it all and family members don't have to do any washing etc at all, then the chidden are going to follow the example and take that as normal - it is their normal. As the children are older I assume they already know or will shortly find out that not everyone lives this way so either they will have to develop some cleaning skills themselves or quickly get themselves into a position where they can afford similar support - don't start paying a cleaner to do your university aged child's flat! What about getting the older children to take Saturday jobs of a practical kind?

Give your cleaner an additional paid holiday; before they go, get her to train your children in how to do her job; pay them the same wage as you pay her on paper, deduct tax, average local rent, travel costs, get them to cook dinner with the remainder. Praise what they do. Talk about what they don't. Increase your cleaner's leave allocation by a day every year and do this exercise at least once a year.

sorry i assumed your cleaner is female stereotype city

Do the children have an allowance, and how much time does the cleaner spend tidying? You may have to ask.

Calculate the cost of the time spent tidying before the cleaning can be done, increase cleaner's pay by this amount, taken from their allowance. Make them hand it over for added impact.

Unless you're in a backhamesque mansion, the cleaner can't just be cleaning, are they kinda looking for stuff to do to justify being there? More importantly, how do the children relate to, speak to or deal with the cleaner?

A cleaner. 5 days a week? Why?? How many hours and how big is your house?
Dds are always leaving wrappers, cups etc lying around. I call them downstairs to move them. £1 of pocket money is deducted if bedrooms aren't ready (tidy) for the cleaner to clean on Thursdays.

Its up to you to parent and teach them life skills, such as cleaning up after themselves. If they behave like that it is disresepectful and lazy. Take away privileges as a start.

Think about what kind of partners they will make - your future DILs/SILs will thank you for it.

Oh how the other half live!

Turn off the router until it is fine. Each time you find a cup, glass, crisp packet it gets turned off again, no warning so no last lap or just need to save my game. They will soon get the point it is easier to put their stuff in the right places. If not, they will move out and realise that actually, they have it pretty good at home...

Do they ever clean their own rooms?

5 times a week!

Just how messy and dirty can one house get?

Maybe cut down cleaner to every other day so your DC have to then pick up the slack a few times a week as well?

Disconnecting the router for a bit sounds like a great idea to me, I have not tried that myself.

My DDs are much younger but my 7 year old hates picking up after herself. I get into her room with her and we blitz it together, with me giving clear tasks - eg put that in the bin, now put your socks in the wash basket etc.

It might be that as they are used to having a cleaner it just doesn't occur to them what they should be doing?

Name I have gone so far as to go out, chucking router in the car boot and saying sort yourselves and your rooms out, and I'll be back later.

Thanks for all of this! Yes, cutting down the cleaner might work.

As will turning off the router.

Tedtess the house is fairly big, hence 5 times a week cleaner

Good point re the over catering not being good for them - nanny is only with us until September

I can't believe you're fussing so much over 3 glasses and 5 wrappers. What do you think their student houses will be like if you find 3 glasses & 5 wrappers unbearable squalor?

Turn off the router until it is fine. Each time you find a cup, glass, crisp packet it gets turned off again, no warning so no last lap or just need to save my game.

In my house, 1-2 would try to comply but the other 1-2 wouldn't give a toss. Hence the 1-2 would be punished for poor effort by the other(s). This would breed horrible sibling squabbles. It's a terrible solution. Need to find the people who left behind the offensive glasses and wrappers & make them individually responsible.

I would be willing to make them all line up & fidget until items were removed to proper place.

It's not the wrappers, it's the laziness. And multiply that to every room in the house and it's a lot!

I was about the 3 glasses, a few wrappers and some cushions.
That's nothing.

As ragged pointed out, if you think this is bad don't ever, ever visit them in student accommodation.

Yes you have created monsters. But it is understandable. Don't fret, if they have also been privately educated at the right schools then they will be fine in their catered college, walk into a nice well paid job in banking or, if female, marry well. This is only a problem if they ever enter the real world.

Bit of an assumption there re marrying well - not what I want for my girls, I want them to earn well for themselves thanks.

My kids are the same. Empty yoghurt pots, crisp packets, drinks dumped. I am here alone now so do it all. Occasionally I will reach my limit and send them all on a tidying spree and we won't go anywhere fun or do anything until they've all tidied their rooms and mess!

I need to toughen up and get them thinking more about Mr workload and stop the utter lazy selfishness of just dumping stuff (they are the same in the car).

You've inspired me to set up a chore system! (And buy a bin for the lounge). I think the router is a good idea. Hit 'em where it hurts. Team responsibility is good and there's nothing wrong with pressure from the others on the particularly lazy ones. Sibling rivalry never been an issue here. Yes they squabble but they all get on pretty great.

Sharing student accommodation with people like this drove my DD up the wall. Basic cleanliness, an ability to wash up, use a washing machine and to know how to empty a bin and recycle are life skills.
Don't know if it's too late for you and yours, it's certainly too late for you to be annoyed about it.

Do you set a good example by tidying up after yourself or do you leave it for the cleaner?
I have no cleaner and my kids are just as bad, dd leaves her dirty dishes in the bathroom .

I tidy up after myself, yes.

They do do stuff if DH writes a chores list with their names on it so maybe I'm making them sound worse that they are?

But dh and I just aren't around in the week much, hence cleaner to keep on top of washing etc

Why have you got a nanny when your youngest is 11?
I met a few kids who must have been raised like this at Uni. The little treasures didn't have a clue how to clean up after themselves.
It's a shame cause they were lovely people but no one wanted to live with them cause you would end up picking up and clean after them all the time.

Not sure what to advise but try and train them up to look after themselves.