When did you start enjoying your baby?

[mrshope]

Hi - this is my first post and I was just wondering when you starting to enjoy your baby? I am a first time mum to a 9week old and while I love him dearly I am definitely not enjoying myself! It seems so relentless! Is there light at the end of the tunnel?!?

If I think back, DD at 4 months, DS at 11 months. This coincides with when they first slept through.

I don't function well on broken sleep!

DD1 - 11 months
DD2 - immediately

I think it depends a lot on the baby. With a baby who will be put down & gives you at least a few hours in a row at night, it is easier, IME, to enjoy the smiles and coos; if you have a non-sleeping velcro baby with reflux, it is a lot harder to enjoy them are there is so much more sh** (or sick!) to deal with.

Three months for me, when we both got the hang of each other. I remember my NCT group discussing this at around two months in to motherhood and 4 of 8 were struggling. No one said anything as they thought everyone else was doing brilliantly

I'd say around 6 months for me. DS could sit up and play on his own for a while and barely cries. Huge difference from the velcro baby with reflux that I struggled with for the first few months! Everyone said to me 'it will get better' but I just couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel - they were right.... hang in there!

In all honesty from the very first moment. I'm now back at work which is much much much much less enjoyable!

Thanks guys. Ds is definitely a Velcro baby who also suffers from reflux. So I guess for me Christmas can't come soon enough!
But goodness it is tough.
Thanks for the hope

X

Do you have a sling? A soft stretchy one like a close caboo or moby wrap can work wonders! They're great for reflux as it keeps them upright. My friend has a Non-stop screamer and in the sling her baby will happily sleep or snuggle quietly for hours, same for my ds on his off days. Leaves you hands free to have a coffee and a chat!

I found the first 3 months very hard then it got a bit better but the next 3 months were still pretty tough.

Things changed for me at 6 months. She developed loads and also I went back to work. The FTM thing isn't for me. Now I have less time with her, I treasure it rather than endure it.

(I started nursery "settling in" from 4 months, mainly to get a break and it really helped - also she lives nursery now)

She's 11 mo now and I'm having a long lie but I can hear her nonsense from here as she plays with DH. It's great. I'm going to have to go join in!

I'll be honest, I found it pretty relentless and difficult until he was well over a year old. Probably until it got to the point where he could reliably sit and entertain himself for more than five minutes at a time and when he began to sleep through. I found it exhausting not being able to switch off from a state of vigilance for hours and hours every day and night.

mrshope your baby sounds just like how my ds was. The most wriggly, never did the 2 hour nap thing in the afternoon thing unless ill, always on the go etc etc.

It turned out he was an early crawler (4 months) and really could run as soon as he could walk. He was also much better once he was old enough to go forward facing in a baby carrier.

He's now 6 and a half, in to all things sporty, very competitive (but that's another story) and runs the sprint in his infants pentathlon team. He's also very into football and cricket.

But when did I start enjoy him? When he was about 7 months I think.

I would say 5/6mths when they smile respond and start playing. It gets better I was just like u!

My first children were twins and I found the first 6 months a complete blur and the first year extremely difficult. It was literally a constant cycle of feeding, changing, making bottles, washing their clothes. There was no time to actually feel anything like boredom. I was exhausted and I cried a lot.

In the first few months, when dh was at work and I was on my own with them I didn't leave my bedroom until midday let alone the house! Dh would bring up their bottles and a cup of tea for me at 7am and it would begin. Feeds, winding, cleaning sick, changing nappies, sleepsuits, more winding, settling babies. So lonely and I felt like I was trapped!

We found it so tough we won't even contemplate another child!

By 12 months things really changed and now at 2 it is lovely and a millions times better.

Still no more for us though!

mrshope I was/am you! My DD is by far the 'hardest' of our NCT group - they have all said it (nicely, when I was saying I wasn't sure a second was viable, as DD is so much hard work!)

Until 14 weeks, when her colic vanished, she was awful. I loved her, but I wasn't in love with her the way you feel you should be. Now, at 7.5 months, she is fun. She pulls up on furniture, crawls, pokes her head round doorways with a cheeky expression, wakes up cooing and calling for me instead of screaming like she's being poked, smiles all the time, sleeps through mostly, and is getting cuddly (she was an anti-Velcro baby).

I totally understand. I didn't enjoy her at first. I endured her. DH helped me survive, as did my awesome MIL who babysat loads, letting me have time to myself.

Re: reflux, do you have a diagnosis? The other 'difficult' baby in our group transformed overnight when they got a diagnosis and infant gaviscon.

Meant to say, I started enjoying her at 14 weeks, not only just now! She's happy now, which she didn't used to be ever and a happy baby is fun.

Mine was prem and had tongue tie so lots of feeding and sleep issues. I'm also SO not a baby person. First 3 months were hellish.

4 months (when we got the TT sorted and feeds and sleep improved) was a massive improvement.

6 months (when she learned to sit up) was better again.

10 months (when she started to be interactive) was when I started to think "I'm actually enjoying looking after her".

18 months onwards she has been awesome. (though she's still a bad sleeper! I think I will enjoy her even more once she finally sleeps through regularly...)

I have a 3 week old DS and am feeling a little the same. I love him to pieces (especially when he is content and not screaming!) but I find myself wondering when it will get easier (as people keep telling me it will). He seems to only really be happy when he is lying on me and never settles for anybody else (I'm in a breastfeeding prison at the moment!). I am waiting for the smile as then at least I know I'm doing something right that he likes and get positive feedback. I'm sure things will get easier and you'll enjoy your babe more and more. :O)

Like a lot of people on here I am only starting to really enjoy my DD at 5 months.

In my experience, the first few months are full of anxiety, worry and hormones.

After a few months you have got go know each other, sort of figured out this motherhood lark and can see your LO developing which is lovely...the first smile has been my favourite so far!

I felt a bit shell shocked at first, no one can prepare you for how you feel in those first few weeks/months.

Humptydumpty - yes everyone at my nct class knows ds as the difficult one.

Re: diagnosis - a maternity nurse and gp said they thought it was silent reflux and I have gaviscon though haven't used it yet. Am fearful of the side effects. But have just endured 40mins of screaming during a feed so am wondering if we should give it a go.

I am just like you. I love him dearly but am not in love him. The routine of feed, nappy change and start the fight to get him to nap is so wearing.
He never wants to nap but desperately needs to.
I spend hrs in a dark room, with white noise to keep him calm and hope he sleeps.

We have to go to a christening tomorrow as i am a godmother. It is an hrs drive and he has screamed the whole time hehas ever been in a car. Dreading it. And seeing people!

You can't help but feel like a failure can you? Especially when you see other peoples babies who lie quietly in their buggies, prams nod car seats and just fall asleep smiling and cooing

mrshope Yes, it's exhausting, unrelenting, and wearing. It does get better, I promise.
Try the gaviscon. So far as I know, the side effects are constipation and not much else. That's not too bad to handle (give a bit of water on top of feeds), but I may be wrong. You can always stop if you/he hate it.

I take comfort in the fact that my DD screamed because she is/was bored, and hated being helpless. Now she can play, and move, she's happy. The happy, static babies in my NCT group are easy, but you know what? I wouldn't swap DD. Not now. I wouldn't change her. She's funny, and mischievous, and plays really well for an hour, letting me do stuff, most days.

Oh, and TELL people you find him hard. Tell them tomorrow. People will amaze you with their willingness to take him for twenty minutes and give you a break, if you say how hard you find it. He might love the stimulation of new people. Good luck.

Six months here too.

My god those first few months were shudderingly grim.

Thanks humptydumpty!
Here's hoping that's what's up with my little man and he will turn into a wonderful little baby.
I can tell there is a happy chap in there just waiting to come out!

Will hold out for 6 months. Yikes that seems a long way away. Bring on Christmas

Glad to know I am not the only one to feel like this as well.

I started not hating having a baby at 3 months and started enjoying her at 6 months. Now 8 months and it keeps getting better!

It was at least six months for me. I had a non napping baby (could go 10 hours wide awake) who fed every 1/2/3 hours for the entire six months. I was ruined with sleep deprivation. Absolutely hated it.

At six months she started sleeping 11-6 with a dream feed.

I also went back to work when she was 5 months and this meant I enjoyed her more as I wasn't in the relentless grind of it for the entire day.

She's one in a few days, enjoy her so much now!