Stay at home mums with kids at school, why dont they get jobs??

[sleepinbeauty]

Just a bit hacked off with mums at school, they moan about having no life away from their kids/ not much money, yet they all seem to refuse to get jobs or careers!
why do some women just want to do sweet FA all day when their kids are at school? They seem content for their husbands to slog their guts out at work while they drink cups of tea and watch daytime tv! Dont get it! i think its called laziness??

So Cocopop, if you think one parent should stay at home, how do you reconcile your scrounging benefits theory to single parents?

I don't envy the single mums I know on benefits. It is a hard life.

Before things kick off too much, here's my definition of "scrounging":

if you have 2 parents with no disability preventing work, with kids at school all day, why should one stay home to claim benefit? I've worked in a supermarket, and on their basic wage it is possible to earn more I believe than the benefit payments you would give up. Lots offer term-time work or short-term contracts.

If you have kids only at school in the mornings, or at pre-school I can see that it is hard to earn enough to make work worthwhile.

If you're on your own through no fault of your own that's a totally different matter (saying that, I was brought up by a single mum who managed to work and never claimed a penny except standard child benefit)

Why am I sticking my head up for an argument, I must have better things to do...

am I missing something? What benefits can a sahm mum claim? I dont work and all I get is child benefit which i'd get even if I was working I think. (All that Cafe nero coffee is expensive y'know )

If i work part time then dd and ds can have stuff, if i stay at home they cant get stuff. End of.

AND it is no ones fecking business what i do!!

sooo not getting drwan into this, but i after reading only a tiny number of posts i am so angry i have to add -

I am on benefits, i have a ds who is 6 and my dd will start school next year, i will probably still remain at home though.

I am a fully qualified social worker so could find a job within seconds.

I am bored of sitting at home all day and not getting away from the kids i would love a life of my own and to actually have money for a change.

problem is though, im a single mum and my son has ASD. i NEED to be around non stop as he currently goes to a MS school that cannot deal with him.
i have just had to go and collect him and he is now expelled for 2 days.

how could i leave work at the drop of a hat and take two days off if i had a job???

You see it is very easy to sit in your ivory tower and proclaim that we are lazy/scroungers/too stupid to work but you very rarely kno the facts so maybe in future you should all mind your own bloody business.

Christ there is some sanctimonius shite on this thread and some other most excellent posts for either side.True if my partner died I'd be a bit f**ked work wise to be honest. That's why we have big life insurance.
I prefer not to work and be there before and after school for my ds 12 - I have actually found perversely and contrary to my own opinion that he needs me more at this age then as a 5 year old before and after school.
Also luckily I do not have to work financially speaking - I do intend to retrain in something or other at some point - when I feel like it.

Well said piffle re older kids needing parents after school - I worked part-time as I was lucky enough to afford it then could also afford to give up when second arrived. DD now 13 values me being around (though would be pushed to admit it!!)

I think that if you can choose then great - but don't whinge about it if staying at home is what you chose (as opposed to having no option) - I think that's getting back to the original post somewhere - ie why do SAHMs moan (answer, I don't - I think my life's great)

why do we moan at times...doesn't everyone sometimes moan...lol...fact of life!
I am happy enough with my life and me being a SAHM is part choice part circumstancial....but that doesn't mean I don't moan at times, lol!

Especially if one is sexually frustrated!

or pmt

I am gobsmacked at such prejudice and also may i add - again on this thread - that jobs to suit school hours are SO hard to come by and full time jobs you then have to pay for a childminder to take them and pick them up which prety much cancels out the majority of your salary so as mothers we can find ourselves caught between a rock and a hard place ALSO there are a few mothers who actually enjoy being there at the school gates and going home to tidy the house, run errands & cook their family a meal and there are more than a few fathers who happily work so that their children are picked up and cared for by their own mother as opposed to someone that they have to pay.

I have wonderful GCSE, A-level & Degree qualifications and I give my job up next April to have my second child and i have no intention of going back to work now for a very long time and my husband is thrilled about this as I can look after the house after years of us only having weeknds to do quick tidy ups and i can cook proper home cooked meals as opposed to rustling up something trashy due to time and i can make sure my children and my husband have my full attention when they come in as opposed to my frazzled stressed self that gets in from work now snappy and irritable and not sitting down until 9!!

Pluds i get to watch Loose Women & eat tea & biscuits all day..

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

morrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre

Lol!! Ok!

What was that COD...I didn't qute get ya

SSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

(((All together now))) YOU STARTED IT , SLEEPY!!!

EXACTLY! I STARTED IT AND NOW I'M GONNA FINISH IT!!!

No

How sad - no more moaning about someone moaning about people moaning!

Sleepi, don't really have time to join the arguments. Just say that research shows working mothers are the happiest. So happy working! Might be quite hard to juggle now, but the fact is working mums don't get "empty nest" feeling once kid/s go to uni.

Hi Ladies,

Right where do I start well first of all I'm a Bloke!,our youngest has started school recentley, the wife is a SAHM. We have discussed her going out to work, but for us at the moment its a non starter, for a few reasons
A) we are trying to concieve and have been for a while.So what is the point of her starting a Job, us getting used to the extra income for it to vanish.
B) both of us agree that it is important to be with your children and not palm them of to child care.
c) its not worth her going out to work for minimum wage job even if she finds one! (which most school hrs jobs are) the child care would swallow it up.
D) We dont have family that we can rely on for child care.

DW and I are different I cant stand doing housework, cooking ect, but she likes doing these things.
I bring the money into the house (which is not a very well paid job) but we do not struggle and we live a comfortable life and she looks after all the house bits and looks after my boys.
I DONT FEEL UNDER PRESSURE THAT I AM THE ONLY ONE WORKING.

We all moan about life I hate work at time but then the next day I could love it, same with the wife she may have a bad day at home or with kids and let off steam but then the next day it could be different.

one thing we should all realise is juggleing family life and jobs, houses, ect is not Black and White. without know the circumstances we should never JUDGE or PRESUME anything!!

here here astonmartin

couldnt have said it better myself

I agree with you astonmartin..DH & I have read your points and totally agree. Well said.