Stay at home mums with kids at school, why dont they get jobs??

[sleepinbeauty]

Just a bit hacked off with mums at school, they moan about having no life away from their kids/ not much money, yet they all seem to refuse to get jobs or careers!
why do some women just want to do sweet FA all day when their kids are at school? They seem content for their husbands to slog their guts out at work while they drink cups of tea and watch daytime tv! Dont get it! i think its called laziness??

sugarfree...lol...didn't read the next message before I replied to that first one, lol! Duh

Wronklytum, oh I know...I used to work in Oncology and Radiology, many moons ago, and it was a very rewarding Job, but I have to admit, I don't think I could work in that field now, that I have Kids and family to look after aswell...I found it emotionally very draining but back then I was young and well, I could go out and do whatever pleased me...and that defiantely helped me to cope!
I think if I do go back into Nursing, and that is still a possibility that I do one day, I would either like to work in a Day Hospital setting with teh elderly or maybe become a Healht visitor one day!

lol and that was supposed to be wrinklytum not wronklytum, lmao

Hmm well that got lively didn't it. As an aside, was musing over Fio's suggestion that we sew up our fannies. Was thinking I may as well for all the sex I get as no energy or libido left after working two 13 hour shifts, followed by two regular ones, then childcare/housework etc (yep another nurse here!). Do SAHMs have more energy/inclination for sex? That would make me more than anything else. Oh and Anoah, much as I empathise with your plight as I'm in the same boat, I hope you were joking about SAHMs draining the NHS through lack of taxes. There's plenty of money coming in - it's just being used badly. For example, my Trust has frozen all posts but we are using Agency staff who cost much more than a substantive employee. Also I really resent the control the pharmaceutical companies have over the NHS. They charge astronomical fees for their drugs, then have the cheek to "invest" in research for the NHS or fund study daysl/well being clinics etc (when if it weren't for those drugs the patient wouldn't have become obese!)They also try to buy the nursing staff by bringing free food and pens for drug lunches. I personally never use the pens as my patients are not there willingly and I do not want to shove the name of the drug they object to taking in their faces every day. Rant over. Shall we start a new thread on burnt out nurses

No not yet

Plummy, if it helps I count myself lucky to get it once a month, pathetic. I have no energy. I want to to, it's sad.

I am in the same boat on this one , bed is for SLEEP, I love my dh more than life itself, but I am just too tired.

I'm never too tired.

Wow sleepinbeauty.. wish all moms were like you! Children growing up without knowing that they come first in mummys life. Mummy's career comes first more like. So who is more selfish those who are broke, could get a job but acutally want to be there for their kids for those few precious years they are with us, or those who churn them out - cite equality to the dad and sod off to work thinking they are better than those mums who dont. Do you actually have a maternal bone in your body..

grr

THis has really p'd me off as I have just qualified as a nurse, trying to find work (part-time) to fit around ds as he is my priority and I am lucky enough to have a dp who is earning, else my ds would see a childminder more that me.

btw not getting at all working mums as I know that it is important to work to afford to live etc.. what gets me is mums who work for their own pleasure who berate mums who choose not to!

I too was a SAHM when my children were pre school age.I retrained as a teaching assistant during this time which was one afternoon a week at local college.Now they are both school age when they are at school so am I when they have the holidays so do I.
I was fortunate enough to be able to stay at home as my husband brought home a good wage. My equally important job was at home with my children- unpaid in monetry terms but rewarded hundredfold in time you cannot have back later on.
I have never claimed benefits for the time spent at home so I am not a drain on society as someone somewhere in this thread suggested sahm's are.
Bottom line is- I enjoyed it,I would do it again,I dont have to justify it to anyone.

Another thought...isn't it really us mums that choose to SAH that will amybe later pay for it dearly, as we won't have the same retirement fund as maybe someone who has always paid in?
I really do find it sad though that society does put so much pressure on mums to go back to work, because it shows the attitude that apparently being a mum is not important at all....however, if you would calculate all teh ours of cleaning, nannying and whatnot that a mum does (not called that of course) that would give one quite a handy lil sum a month....I think it was calcualted to well over a grant, if not nearer the 2, a while back....so, really we come pretty cheap

Good point 3andnomore!

I still do all the stuff I did as a SAHM when the children were tiny, but now I also home educate the children as well - all for the price of the child benefit.

I'm a bloomin' bargain!

Absolutely

I've worked p/t since both my children were a few months old. They are now 13 and 9 and I find it far more difficult now juggling my work and their school runs, activities, homework needs etc than ever before. This is despite having a flexible job (I can work from home a large part of the time) and a progressive employer. It's far easier to work when the children are pre-school age - there are much fewer childcare alternatives when the children are older. I don't think there are enough jobs out there that really enable mothers with school age children to work.

I am sorry if I am repeating anyone else here, but there are too many conversations to read on this thread in one sitting!
I am a stay at home mum, my dh works but doesn't earn nearly enough to support us all properly! I still couldn't go to work though, I just couldn't leave my little peas in anyone elses hands...it just doesn't seem logical...you have children to raise them and have the pleasure of them for yourself surely????
We have tight months, but we are all fed, clothed and have a lovely home and most of all we are happy! (ok you can all stop puking now!)
I will go back to work, when they are all off at school (infact will work with dh as he is self employed...which luckily will mean flexible hours)
Besides which...if I got a job now I would have to earn more than we currently get in tax credits, which I would be hard pushed to do in part time hours.
My ds has just been very poorly in hospital, there is no way I could have survived that experience if I was working! I was knackered, emotional and could not have left him with anyone .

What I don't understansd is why anyone would think that they should get jobs? How about a title like "lazy s*ods on the dole whopturn down work becasue they don't want to do it". Why don't they get jobs.? Is it the normal case on picking on an easy target?

lucybug, the orignal post was about mothers who have older, school age children and don't work outside the home (and complain about not having money, not mothers who have preschoolers (so can't work outside the home as easily).

Smokey, I too find I need lots of flexibility to fit in the homework needs and activities of my 12 year old. Mind you, at least he can now use public transport a bit. If I lived somewhere where this wasn't an option, I'd have more problems - being a taxi service for older kids is a job in itself.

I was thinking about how I equate a day as a SAHM with children at school with my working day.

After the school run I would have to be at home ready for work at 10.00 am.

I would then meet with the rest of the team ( ie the other SAHMS with school age children) in my street. We would each talk through our individual projects (eg,e, spring clean the bedrooms/move all spare toys and clothes into the loft/ give the kitchen a really thorough sort out/ do a week's ironing etc) and agree on deadlines with our SAHM line manager - a rather bossy person who is also a SAHM in our street and has keys to all our houses. She represents the housework police and social services and has the power to report us if we consistently do not reach our agreed aims.

She puts our designated tasks on a whiteboard in her front window so it is in full view of everyone in our street.

I then go back to my house and begin my work, not forgetting the usual day to day tasks like washing up and putting out the rubbish.

Periodically throughout the day, my line manager comes in unannounced to see how I are getting on - she might also give me more work if she feels under pressure to reach targets. (She has to make regular reports to the houswork police and social services about the street's houswork standards and targets reached).

I also get random visits by other SAHMS in the street, which can be nice - as sometimes it's for a coffee break and chat. They might ask me for help or advice on completing their projects.
Sometimes we have proper meetings which I have to schedule in.

All my visitors may of course talk about my housework progress to my line manager - what I do with my day is open to their scrutiny.

I am allowed a lunch hour, but have to inform my SAHM manager(and often my SAHM colleagues) each day when I am taking it.

It is the housework police's policy that I am not allowed to use the internet or send or receive emails, unless they are work related. My SAHM line manager regularly checks to see what I have been using my computer for and has the power to discpline me.

I may go shopping - again work related only - but have to agree this in advance with my SAHM line manager.

You get my drift by now, I should hope.... (thank goodness for everyone that the housework police don't exist!!)

Well put tigermoth

very amusing

Would like to know your domestic objectives, TM, and whether they are properly SMART.

what a horrible business term! Hate SMART, SMART, SMART but more esp how it's banded around offices as if merely saying it is going to magically cut thro' all the crap - never seems to ime, just makes it worse!
A reminder of how at least if you're a SAHM you're only answerable to yrself and can avoid such awfulness from the "corporate world" as a slgihtly self-important friend of mine always says.

sorry, that was rather "off-message".I wasn't "singing from the same hymn sheet" nor was it a creative example of "blue-sky thinking",groan, groan, groan.

I have all the money I need (could do with a few million for designer handbags and some new shoes and maybe a mansion but we are ok off), 2 small (2 and 6) children and a life that involves socialising with school mujms and PNG and going to the gym. Lovely life eh??? As well as a DH who is extremely happy for me to stay at home doing what he feels is just as important as him doing his job, that of bringing up the two most precious things that we have, our children.

But - and its nothing to do with equality, I am returning to work for 2 days a week because my brain is slowly turning to mush and becaus I think it will be good for DS to attend a nursery (mainly because of his eating problems) and DD is happy to go to a friend after school.

When they are both older I think I will still only go to work 2 days a week so I am here for them and can get the housework done and still have a life of my own.

sO Very selfish in terms of not paying taxes etc?? DH pays more tax than lot of people and so I feel on that point I should get a pass - as well as my contribution in bringing up children who will one day be paying into that tax pot with the money going to the people who have had a problem with me not working but investing in their future in a small way.

DH is happy to be the main breadwinner also.

LOL at blue-sky thinking.

Am just off to run an idea up the flagpole to DD, along the lines of maybe she ought to get dressed now, seeing as how she's been up since 6.30.

And perhaps suggest to DS that he should action his homework.