I am on day 3 of No Shouting.

[MyCrazyLife]

And I'm so bloody proud of myself!

I hated myself sometimes; I've got three lovely children (5, 3 and 1) and yet I got to the point where I was screaming at them regularly. Ok so in my "defence" it's the holidays, they fight and wind each other up constantly, I get very bad PMT.

But on the other hand, my horrible, abusive mother used to shout and scream at me, everything was my fault, and she would end saying things like "you should be ashamed" ... "You are a horrible bitch that no one likes" etc etc (things that to this day still affect me).

Now I never got that far with my own DC of course; they are all so loved and wanted. But I was terrified I'd turn into her. So after having a horrible day last Thursday, I vowed to stop shouting. They will still be disciplined if naughty, of course - with the Silly Step or toy confiscation etc - but I won't take out my own frustrations on them.

It's the third day, they're all asleep and I haven't shouted since that Thursday. I never thought I'd be able to do this, really hope I can keep it up. If I can, they may never remember the awful screeching mum they used to have.

Anybody else managed to stop?

That's out of worry Thumb so you can let yourself off

Hi Ledkr teenage girls and their mum's eh?!

Hey everyone, and welcome newbies :)

Today I woke up feeling angry, irritable, negative and cross so I can only assume that PMT has started. Twelve fucking days before my period. Fucks sake.

So today is really really hard. I haven't shouted as such, and I certainly haven't smacked, but I'm so fuming at them for everything. DP is due back from working away as well :( don't want to be horrible to everyone!!

But, with this thread in mind, I really am going to try and keep it together. I've got a bottle of wine and a takeaway to look forward to tonight :)

PastaBow - hi :) sleep deprivation is torture. And my mum was just like yours :( she used to practically run upstairs to hit me, or shout in my face, and I never want to be like that.

Thanks Liberal

Hey crazy sorry you're feeling crap, you can control it though love, like you say, planning helps, keep them busy, and put something nice on and some make up, will help you feel better for seeing dp.

I've got wine in too, wondering when the earliest I can acceptably open it is I'm thinking 4.30!

Aww, thank you, Liberal! That made me laugh... You sound like me last Friday!! I opened it at 5 in the end

We've been to a craft group thing this morning, ive played a board game with them, I've finally bought some binds for the landing window, and the house is looking quite nice ready for DP coming back. So I suppose some things have been achieved!

Blinds, not binds!

Definitely, and no tea to cook! Have a lovely night.

Thank you... Well I'll make the DCs something... Hot dog pieces thread onto spaghetti - should be interesting!

Hope you have a good night too x

I've managed it. It wasn't really a fair test as DD went to nursery this morning and DH came home mid afternoon and we all went to the dentist. That said I'm knackered and irritable which is usually when the shouting starts.

I'll see how I get on next week when DH is in the Middle East and my patience hangs by a thread!

I've thought about this thread a lot today. So many posters saying they grew up in a shouting house. I feel like if I can crack this I'll be breaking a cycle as well as being a better parent to my DCs who are so, so lovely and deserve better than me losing my rag.

Work day today so no shouting!

I am finding though that instead of being glad to be at work I am missing them so everything must be better with less shouting!

PastaBow - that's just it, isnt it? Breaking the cycle. We were shouted it, we hated it, we shout at our children, they no doubt hate it... Are they going to shout at their childen too? But we have the chance now to turn it all around.

I am on my first glass of wine, and feeling chilled how is everyone else doing?

Wine o'clock here. Jeez I was tested today. DD1 was in one of her 'I don't care' moods. I resorted to putting her in the porch til she'd calmed down as naughty step and bedroom didn't work. She was just vile (I should have guessed the day was going to be bad when I woke to her shouting). Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I got 'short' and cross today - not sure if that counts, as I didn't raise my voice and managed to stay quite calm which is progress in itself.

Well done, buffers! I have also been "short and cross" today... I don't think it counts, and if it does, it's a huge improvement from before!

What are you drinking? I've got Asti here... Can only drink fizzy drinks oh and my takeaway was awful, how annoying!

Oh no crazy, what did you have?

We had a shit Chinese last week, it's gutting isn't it? Haven't lived round here long, so having to find our feet take away wise

I'm on my second bottle, fuck it, it's the end of a triumphant week, cheers!

First night feed here. takeaway and film night tomorrow though so looking forward to that. Hope it is nice. A rubbish takeaway is very sad mycrazylife.

No shouting should be easy tomorrow. A lie in has been promised to me and DH, SIL and I are taking DCs out for the day.

Made it through day five yesterday. Feeling so much happier and more chilled

Crazy - short and cross definitely better than shouting.

Definitely about breaking the cycle. I don't want my children's first memories to be of me yelling at them. And I want to teach them through my own actions (and ingrain into my own being!) that there are other, better, ways of dealing with negative emotions.

Pasta, I'm due number three in December. The first two were terrible sleepers so hoping I'll be in the habit of being more chilled by the time the sleep deprivation torture starts...

Liberal - pah! Hope you don't feel too rough this morning. I only had the one bottle as I thought I'd be driving this morning but turns out not. Takeaway was a chicken burger with chips and cheese... They put this weird garlic paste thing on the burger, oh my Christ it was like eating salt. Ugh! Curry night tonight :)

PastaBow - hope you have a nicer takeaway than me tonight, and are enjoying your lay in. I didn't get to sleep till 1:30am as DP and I had one of our "giggle like teenagers" nights. aahh he is hilarious. I'm hoping today is much easier for me, too. We're going shopping which is my favourite hobby ;)

Bicnod - aahhh Christmas baby! Congrats. Mine will be 2 this year ... Sob. Although DP is keen to crack on with having another... Hmm I don't know!

What's everyone up to today? Apart from restraining themselves when it comes to shouting?!

Only one glass of wine for me last night.

We've got cousins staying and dog sitting this weekend: 5 children, 3 dogs, 2 adults. There will be no shouting (because I would hate the cousins to report back to my brother and sister-in-law ).

Thank you team for allowing 'short and cross'! I was knackered yesterday (youngest up in night teething) but feel much better today.

Good luck to everyone for the no-shouting weekend!

Oh I'm envious of you having wine. I'm trying to lose my baby weight and get back into my normal clothes. I'm also hoping that the exercise will keep my grumpiness in check.

Day 1 wasn't a complete success. I shouted once. DD2 was jumping on the couch. I told her several times to stop. Tried moving her into another room. Then when my back was turned she did it again and I automatically yelled at her 'Stop it'. I need more patience. It was also late afternoon.

But it's the weekend. DH is home and he's the calmer of us two. (His parents never hit and rarely shouted) I only shout when I'm alone with the dcs. That is quite telling in itself.

It is so true that it is a circle that needs to be broken.

MasterFlea - DP is home now here, too, and in theory I should cope a lot better.

Buffers - wow, that will be... Erm... Entertaining!! ;)

A few quiet days here cos dd1 is with her dad. Picking her up today so my challenge will begin.
I'm actually out with friends so won't have to cope for too long tho.
The fun will begin tomorrow tho.
All day Sunday with just her as dh at work.
My mum never really shouted at us much so I can't blame that.
I've learnt it obviously over the years.

I'm pleased to report that I didn't shout at Ds1 at all today. BUt, to be fair, he hasn't been here since lunchtime as he went to his friend's for a sleepover.
I shouted once at DS2 because he was standing on DS1's schoolbag (containing lunchbox etc), just to attract his attention to get him off it, which worked - and that's it.

I might have been somewhat shirty with DH, however.

Uh oh ThumbWitch, what was dh's crime?!

Mine has just passed his driving test and nearly drove into a high kerb at speed because he was distracted by something on the other side it's my car as well! Safe to say I shit myself and may have grabbed the steering wheel also sent him to the shop for wine and he came back with a huge bottle of Lambrini....

No shouting today though! And DD1 (who is toilet trained!) weed on the stairs and her brother's car seat. For attention. Grrr!

Well DH's "crimes" started this morning when I got up to discover that the builders who were replacing one of the bedroom windows with a double-glazed one had left tools, including a large handsaw, on the bedroom floor, and DS2 (22mo) was completely unsupervised and in the same room because DH didn't even think about it ; and it sort of went on from there really. Usual stuff - mostly based around DH "not thinking".
I didn't shout because the builders were there but I certainly made him aware that I had the arse about it!

Haha! That is pretty scary. My DP is ike that; never malicious but just. Doesn't. Think.