Whats the funniest thing you've heard a new or soon-to-be parent say?

[ninipops]

This might well come across as a bit sneery or patronising but its not meant that way honestly!

My DSis is due her first baby soon (6th baby between my sibs 3 of which are mine) and during an email discussion between us sibs recently she made a comment about wanting 'to be able to concentrate on and enjoy the first few weeks of being a parent'. DH & I both read it and instantly burst out laughing - not meant in a patronising way but more because we know all too well how the first few weeks of sleep deprivation etc etc can be somewhat challenging. The idea of having any option other than to concentrate on that new bundle just really caught my funny bone.

Anyone else - or is it just me being a bitch?!?!

Viv: No reason why you can't be back at the gym by two months if everything goes ok and you still want to - I walked five miles with the pram eight days after the birth, started (easy, in the house) pilates after two weeks, swam after three weeks, and ran for the first time after five.

R.e. The dark room thing, this is very natural and primal, helps us to relax and therefore helps with labour.

My issue with threads like this is, no matter how light hearted, is that, there will always be the mum with the easy baby, the good sleeper, the free time, the ability to go to the gym etc. So why not try and be positive before the birth. Not smug or know it all no, but equally, why should an experienced mum be smug or know it all when all babies are different.

You only get a first baby once, let the parents to be be idealistic if they want

I think I was lucky because the things I said I wanted to happen, have happened. But I was never smug enough to claim it had anything to do with me, and I'm relatively laid back. I can see how it's different for parents to be who have their heart set on something (like a newborn sleeping through). But life will set them straight soon enough, no need for another person to do so.

That's very encouraging to hear, Darkside. I know it's different for everyone, but I can't see any harm in hoping for a certain positive preferences while being realistic and aware that everything might not go ok and I might not still want to.

I guess what I'm saying with all of this is that it can get a bit irksome when the been-there-done-thats dismiss the hopes and flights of fancy mothers-to-be out of hand. But happily, that's not really been the spirit of the thread (on the whole). And I do appreciate for all of those who've contributed that it must be infinitely irritating when those who have no idea whatsoever go around blithely declaring certainties and absolutes which are unrealistic at best! It gets on my nerves and I'm not even a parent yet....

x-post slithy - concur with your comments!

'How hard can it be?' - male friend who is now teased mercilessly by all of us who were there when he said it, as the father of a seven month old......

You know, if I were doing it again, then I would be a great deal firmer about what I wanted..... I would be more sure of myself in the labour ward, and I would be more assertive when it came to wanting to enjoy the first few weeks. We had house guests (none of whom we were related to) who came to stay 5 days after I gave birth, and 24 hours after I left hospital. (One actually complained about how hard it was to get to sleep with a squalling baby.... I really wish I had punched him instead of taking DS out into the garden). My DH went on a cycle tour (stag-related) 3 weeks after I gave birth and I waved him off swearing that a baby would never stop us from doing what we wanted to do.

I shake my head at myself now. I DO wish I had planned for things like babymoons etc.

[musing]

Haha. I remember a friend of mine saying she was going to go back to minding her god daughter 3 days after the baby because "I don't need a break plus my mum will be here to help". I just raised my eyebrows and said "ok". Needless to say god daughter did not start 3 days after baby....more like 3 weeks :)

I remember saying

"I will never give my children anything less than fresh made food"
"They will drink homemade juice"
"They will never watch TV"
"They will never have a snotty nose"

Ha.

Vivi you'll be fine on the trip at 4 months. I flew home with DS aged 6 weeks (intercontinental) though I hadn't given birth (we adopted him). We also took him on Eurostar aged 3 months. If you're able to BF, so much more convenient (formula being a pain for travel, lugging bottles, cartons, sterilising equipment etc.).

Thanks, DrSpouse. I'm thinking it's probably going to be more viable with an immobile bf (hopefully) 4mo than later on...

Viv - you should be fine...if you can bf it will be easy - all you need is you, baby, sling, car seat, nappies & clothes...pram if room.
I took my DD1 on holiday with a group of friends to a holiday cottage - other side of the country - travelling on my own and it took 6? hrs and 3 changes on a train.
Stupidly 2 weeks into weaning (this was when weaning was recommended at 4 months) - hadn't thought it though & HV (was a bit odd but I didn't know any better) had given me a strict schedule - and once started you couldn't go back, had to use the same kind of spoons and pots & sterilising method so as not to confuse baby ...also x no of spoons baby rice, introduce another 'taste' every x days etc...and I wasn't go to feed my baby packet/jar stuff (don't know what I thought baby rice was!) -took a blender and my full size massive steriliser ......

Viv I took DS1 who was bottle fed to Tenerife at 10 weeks and DS2 who was breast fed to Cyprus also at 10 weeks and had lovely holidays. They were sleeping through the night by then so I felt human and they sat in their little bouncy chair in the shade as I sunbathed and we went for lovely walks with them in their prams along the promenades. I actually found those trips easier than ones I went on went on when my DC started to be mobile.

Feeling much more optimistic now, thanks unlucky & Chicken !!

Yep, DS has come to Spain with us regularly since he was 3 months. Far far easier while a bf baby, than a walking toddler! And even then it's doable if you are organised.

Don't think you'll have any problems on that score.

I actually created a spreadsheet in Excel of when i expected feeds and naps to take place...needless to say that the LO does exactly what she wants. I foolishly thought i would follow the Gina Ford schedule. No chance!

I must say though, even with our hap hazard routine she does sleep through the night at 12 weeks! Not sure how this has happened mind you! Pure luck!!

Nice post Lovelise - you should take that luck and market it in little pots, people would pay good money for it - like the Gina Ford books