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Parenting

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Original poster

Opinion on leaving toddler in car

154 replies

starchildmum · 27/05/2014 21:59

I am really distressed and was wondering what your opinion is on this subject.

I am an overprotective, very caring and loving mum.

Thats what happened:

Daughter woke up this afternoon and because we will travel tomorrow I did not have anything great in the fridge for her afternoon snack so decided to go down the road ( we live in Kensington, London) to buy her at M&S a prawn sandwich (which she adores) and some fruits. Put 1 £ into meter ( gives me by 4,40 £/ h max 12 minutes). It was pouring rain and m&s access to food hall is a narrow staircase so decided to leave her in the car. Expected to be 5 min. I am also 6 month pregnant to sum it up. Daughter normally never cries. Car is parked on High Street in front of police station with lots of CCTV so thought its save. My daughter in her car seat (she is 18 month). So the worst that could have happened in my view was her crying 5 min which I thought was safer than carrying her (12kg) through the rain down the slippery staircase to buy 1 sandwich.

When I returned 2 ladies where waiting next to my car saying that they will report me to Social Services etc. as baby was crying and apparently highly distressed noting down my plate number.
I must say I was not particularly friendly as obviously 2 ladies staring into the car and maybe knocking at the window must have distressed my daughter on top of her crying because she was left alone in the car.

Now I am really worried and questioning if I really did something horribly wrong or if it is ok to leave baby in the car for 5 min under those circumstances (raining, pregnant, just 5 minutes) or if it is an absolute terrible thing????

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LairyPoppins · 27/05/2014 22:01

I wouldn't in those circumstances.

Hope you and she are OK.

Lookrightnow · 27/05/2014 22:03

No never. Especially in those circumstances.

Take her or find another option. Much much too long.

As an absolute desperate measure I'd drive to a petrol station with m&s and leave toddler asleep in the car where I could see.

And I'm a shit parent.

Youdontneedacriminallawyer · 27/05/2014 22:03

I wouldn't, but each to his own, and I wouldn't report you either.

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HaveYouHeardOfGoogle · 27/05/2014 22:04

I wouldn't have left her in the car. You just never know what can happen. What if you had an accident and couldn't get back to her? So many possibilities which aren't worth it in my head for the sake of a M&S sandwich.

HygieneFreak · 27/05/2014 22:04

Its not a terrible thing but its not a very wise thing either.

Leaving a child in the car whilst paying for petrol, were the car is in constant full view by yourself is fine.

However in this case, you were nowhere near the car, it wasnt in your sight at all.

Its not something i would do, but i wouldnt be threatening to report someone to social services over it

tinypumpkin · 27/05/2014 22:05

Another one who would not do that either I'm afraid. Did your DD calm okay? I can imagine that people knocking on the window could have upset her further as you say.

Smartiepants79 · 27/05/2014 22:08

Hmm my DD is the same age and I'm not sure I'd leave her if she was awake.
I'd leave her if asleep.
I might also leave her in the car with her older sister.
And in fact have done to pop into tesco.
It's not a terrible thing to do. Try not to beat yourself up about it.
Maybe just learn from it.

ThisBitchIsResting · 27/05/2014 22:08

I absolutely wouldn't. Hope this has given you enough of a fright never to do it again

Chocoholicforever · 27/05/2014 22:08

I would never leave a child if I was going out if sight - petrol station is fine, but not just to pop to a shop! It's actually illegal to leave a child like that.

Original poster

starchildmum · 27/05/2014 22:11

Chocoholicforever. Really ???? Omg I am really scared. Didn't know it was illegal. Could they have reported me to the police????

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Original poster

starchildmum · 27/05/2014 22:12

Sure is I will never do it again!

OP posts:

WeAllHaveWings · 27/05/2014 22:17

I would never leave a young child in a car in a busy street. At 18 months they could not only get very upset, but at 18 months ds could undo straps in car seat if he wanted to.

Outside a police station? You were luckily they weren't waiting for you when you got back!

How does CCTV make it safe for your child? It will only let you see what happened afterwards.

Chocoholicforever · 27/05/2014 22:19

It can be classed as neglect especially if there was no way they were old enough to look after themselves - say a car swerved and hit you car, they couldn't undo their seatbelt or get out. As someone also said, if something happened to you - 6 months pregnant, on wet sloppy stairs, say you fell and knocked your head, she would be alone in the car.
Sorry, I know it's sounds like I'm trying to scare you but it would be worth the extra 5 mins of getting the buggy out and taking her with you next time

StealthToddler · 27/05/2014 22:21

I know that m&s well. You cannot park right outside it. There are a couple of bus stood there and double yellows. Nearest metered parking is on a different road, and mostly is residential parking. So you were not close to the car at all. It is a horribly busy area. There is no way you could know if she was distressed or not before the 2 ladies were looking in the window. Personally I think it was a crazy thing to do. And there is no way you could just be 5 minutes popping into that m&s - it's always busy.

StealthToddler · 27/05/2014 22:21

*stops

Chocoholicforever · 27/05/2014 22:22

Sorry for the typos - especially slippy - darn autocorrect!

StealthToddler · 27/05/2014 22:22

And you could have gone into the store via the main entrance (next to the narrow steps) and tad ken the lift or the escalator.

RoganJosh · 27/05/2014 22:25

I have to say I don't really see the need to do what you did. Wouldn't you just give her some breadsticks?

TallDarkandUgly · 27/05/2014 22:25

I wouldn't do that because I'd fret she would be upset or someone could break the glass and kidnap her
Small risk high stakes.
Reporting to social services is meaningless unless they have your name and address. SS wouldn't be able to track you down by licence plate unless it was a much more serious case that warranted disclosure so I wouldn't worry about that.
Recently I was shopping at Sainsburys and someone had left two young children - one toddler and one preschooler - in the car for the duration of a long shop. They were both crying and saying "want mummy"

Original poster

starchildmum · 27/05/2014 22:26

The more I think about it the worse I feel. :-(
Really wish I hadn't left her. It's true a million things could have happened.

OP posts:

Fairylea · 27/05/2014 22:29

Are you sure you're not Billie Piper? There was an article in the paper the other day saying she did something really similar for a coffee I think.

I wouldn't have done this. Sorry but I would have taken the toddler in with me.

SueDNim · 27/05/2014 22:29

I occasionally leave my 3 yo in the car while I pop into out village shop. I'm not sure this is particularly different. I know that it isn't the done thing on MN, but it is something I do.

evelynj · 27/05/2014 22:31

I leave my dd who is 10 months in the car while I take my ds into nursery 3 times a week. It's a quiet small village with just school people around at that time of the morning. I'm gone for 2-3 minutes. She is fine & never cries. I feel it is safe, though nothing is completely safe. Having said that I'd have never left either of them at all when I lived in England.

HookingBrilliant · 27/05/2014 22:33

I only do it when I can see the car. So cash machine, or petrol.

Dizzywhore · 27/05/2014 22:34

I can't believe what I'm reading! No way is it ok to leave a child, of any age in a car you can't see on their own even for one minute! It doesn't matter where you park. I don't even leave my DD in the car while I pay for petrol, I'm also 7 months pregnant with a very bad back!

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