**sensitive topic warning** So angry!

[NickysMam]

I have a 1 week old DD (who is the most beautiful baby in the world, I'm so in love) and her dad and his family are insisting, almost to the point of bullying me, into piercing her ears.

Not to offend those that have done it, but I don't like it AT ALL as it's purely for cosmetic reasons.

Every day I'm asked "When are you going to pierce her ears?"

Has anyone pierced their DD's ears? And if so, how old were they? they're hoping to pierce her ears next bloody week! I've told them to fuck off already but the phone calls are still coming.

Don't let them have her without you being there. What a ridiculous, horrible idea. :(

It looks bloody awful on babies, and unnecessarily hurts them. It makes no logical sense at all, and certainly does not look cute!

Well done for standing your ground! I'd not let her out of my sight for fear of them doing it without me there though!

Congrats on your newborn

Blimey, they sound like ILs from hell. No way should you let them talk you into it. Even if it was for cultural or religious reasons, she's your baby, not theirs and its completely up to you what you do to bring up your children. Tell them to take a very long hike.

Holy crap. NO!!!!

Oh poor you OP, they sound extremely difficult. You're absolutely right - there is no good reason to put holes in your baby's ears, cultural or not. Agree with other posters - do not let them spend any unsupervised time with her. Please keep venting on here - sounds like you may have a fight on your hands

Mum is only a week post birth and this is dreadful pressure to put on her. Can you ask your MW and HV to back you up?

You should not be having to face this alone my love.

Absolutely no way. I think you're going to have to be as firm with them as they are with you and tell them when she's old enough to decide for herself, you'll consider it. So at least another decade.

Your DH could be more of a problem. Ask him does he want to risk her pulling them and ripping her earlobe in half.

Congratulations on your DD

Tell them that you shared your fears with the GP/Health Visitor and were surprised to find that you can be prosecuted for doing this if one parent is not in agreement.

Threaten to take the baby and leave your dh if he does it.

Tell them you'll take the earrings out so it's pointless doing it as they'll heal up very quickly.

It is not cute, and if it's not done for cultural reasons, I'm not going to use an alternative phrase to describe it as I think it's a derogatory word but the one I'm thinking of starts with the letter C.

I agree that you should contact your midwife (assuming you're still under her care after just a week) and tell her how much this is upsetting you.

What?! What a strange thing for them to be so insistent about. Stand your ground, and let them know they're upsetting you. I'd tell them that if they're going to keep going on about it, then they're no longer welcome to come in your home.

her dad and his family are insisting, almost to the point of bullying me

Woah stop right there. Her Dad should be supporting you. Give in to this incident and this attitude will continue forever.

Make a stand now and it will be painful, but you'll get more respect in the long run. Be firm, courteous and In Charge. Patronise them if need be.

They'll be buying headbands next.

No, no, no, no, NO!

I'd be telling them with knobs on and I certainly wouldn't be allowing any unsupervised contact.

She's a baby not a bl**dy pin cushion.

Tell her Dad that if he or his Mum are so desperate to get something pierced you suggest they find a licensed place that does intimate areas-and book themselves in!

Good grief. You realise you are never going to be able to leave her with any of them don't you?

Absolutely no unsupervised contact at all is my recommendation!

Can they legally do this? I mean - if they did would you be able to sue the place that did it?

tell them no!
i would physically fight someone to stop them putting holes in my dd's ears. they're all mental!
tell them no.
risk of infection, she's a baby, she'll get them caught on stuff.
let her decide if she wants them when she's old enough.
utterly bonkers!

My DD had her ears pierced at about 10 months, when I finally gave in to pressure from in-laws ( cultural norm etc ).
After her earring got caught in her clothes I took them out, put them away and it was never mentioned again.

She had her ears re-pierced aged about eight, at her own request, as she was unhappy at being the only girl in her class without earrings.

I remember having the opposite pressure (quite a controlling, possible ASD parent, who conflated 'it looks odd on babies' with 'it looks odd full stop') and not being allowed even at 16-18.

Think somewhere in the middle: not so young that if she doesn't like it she's been lumbered with it, but once she is old enough for 'fashion' (secondary school age?) let her if she wishes.

WTF? Stand your ground. They are idiots.

Unfortunately, my guess is that if they care this much about it, they'll do it when your back is turned. What a horrible reason to break down trust barriers with your daughters family

Is there an age limit to ear piercing does anyone know?

I think it's outrageous !

Think of how dangerous to have jewellery on her skin. Babies pull and scratch their faces all the time . They might tear their ear or even eat the earring too!
Mega hazard!

And it's MEGA CHAV TOO!

I come from a country where they pierce young girls' ears too as part of the culture . I find it horrible!

No wonder you're angry. I would be too.

Maybe ask them why they don't think she's already cute enough? (except that would mean you'd have to talk to them. I'd be ignoring the phone now.)
There would be no way I would leave her alone with them either.

Am I allowed to ask if they're travellers?

Do not leave your tiny baby girl alone with these ridiculous people - they might just do it anyway. How awful. It's abusuve in my opinion. Your husband should be supporting YOU. What on earth is he thinking?

Urgh! No, no and triple no!

No decent salon worth anything would pierce a baby and those with less conscience will only do it after a full set of baby immunisations. Even still, please don't let them punch holes in her and please, when you're feeling a bit more up to it, have a serious word with your partner in regards it pressurising and bullying you. That is not on.