explaining gay sex

[BelleateSebastian]

My nearly 10 year old ds has just asked me how 2 men can have sex bloody Coronation street I explained the sex thing to him a couple of years ago, I subtly cowardly changed the subject, but I could see he was pondering the 'mechanics' he then seemed to have a 'light bulb' moment and hit the nail on the head, I confirmed he was correct, he didn't seem particularly perturbed and has gone to bed to finish Gangsta Granny!

Has anyone else had this question at such a young age? I feel like the very basics of sex is enough at 10 but it seems like everything is happening younger nowadays

I have also learned

sorry i have to go now to feed a flock of fat gobbling geese, catch ya later

NigellasDealer Tue 18-Mar-14 10:23:00
leave Georgie out of this OK,, he is my brother.

have you ever mentioned this before ND?

And I feel so further people could learn from

There are certainly public loos I would not have wanted my son going into alone when he was eight. Not because anything would necessarily have happened to him, but because the particular local loos were known as a gay pick-up place and I would have been worried about him possibly seeing something he might not have wished to see. Most of the other mothers I knew took a similar view on the matter and I can't imagine that any sensible parent would have insisted on their eight-year-old son going in there unaccompanied just to make some kind of point.

I have not heard of lesbians using the ladies' loos like this in our area, but am ready to stand corrected.

I think it's best that I don't post what I have learned. it's nothing to do with the subject matter of the thread, more about posters.

oh no abra that just does not happen! no all gay men are at home watching re-runs of the sound of music with their long term partner, discussing what colour to paint the lounge next.
now i really do have to go...........arghhhh

Quite an eye opener eh?

What did Cyndi Lauper do? - perhaps I don't want to know

Quit while you're ahead Nigella,

oh, wait..

Didn't know that ND was a goose farmer, and George Michael's sister so that's new.

Well, if several arrests have been made in a local toilet because people are shagging in there than I think most people would prevent their children going in alone. No child needs to see a couple shagging.

That's really not the same as preventing your ds going to the toilet alone in case a man rapes or assaults him. Sorry to be blunt but that is exactly what ND had told her child.

Cyndi Lauper has done nothing except be an 1980's pop idol. I was being fatuous.

phew!

God yes, Mantorana, I've told my DDs to scan for Sandi Toksvig too and let me know straight away. I'd love to meet her!

NigellasDealer YWBU to link using public lavatories with paedophilia in the mind of a young child. If you have any concerns about any particular places (some places have a bad eeputation) then keep away from them, and don't take young children there. If you were not going to let him use those loos, just say they were too dirty/smelly or too busy or badly lit.

OP, yes my Dd was asking questions at around that age and I told her about that kind of thing a bit. I also showed that we have kept in touch (on facebook at least) with gay friends and relations. When I met DH he was sharing a house with a couple of friends, one of whom was lesbian. Dd told me yesterday she has been supporting a lesbian friend who has homophobic parents and can't tell them about herself. I'm proud of her. :)

Sandi Toksvig lives on a boat.

Wow- does she? So do I! We're obviously soul mates..........!!!!!!!!!

"I don't think that's what Nigella meant, actually. I think she meant that she'd already explained the mechanics of buggery (which happens to be how [some] gay men have sex) because she was worried about paedophiles attacking her son in a public loo. NOT that gay men are paedophiles who would attack her son."

Assuming Nigella is not a troll, I think this could be considered a reasonable explanation of what she meant.

My eldest DS is about to turn 8, and he is very naive for his age. At this moment he believes all men grow up, get married to women, the wives then have babies etc. (pushed out of their bums apparently!).

Surprisingly he hasn't asked me any in-depth questions...yet. But he seems to have no idea that people of the same sex can be attracted to one another. I can definitely imagine him not understanding why he would need to be vigilant when alone in a public toilet and having to break it down from square one (i.e why another male would touch him).

" I can definitely imagine him not understanding why he would need to be vigilant when alone in a public toilet and having to break it down from square one (i.e why another male would touch him)"

You know, I have never told my son he needs to be vigilant when alone in a public toilet. I have told him from very early that nobody has a right to touch him unless he wants them to, and if anyone does or says anything that he feels uncomfortable with he is to scream, run away, come and tell me or another trusted adult as appropriate. I would imagine that being touched in any way by a man in a public loo would come under several of these categories without talking about buggery.
AND IF HE WAS TOUCHED BY A MAN IN A PUBLIC LOO, THAT MAN WOULD BE A PAEDOPHILE, NOT A HOMOSEXUAL!

When I was a kid there was a lot of 'stranger danger' talk. Don't get into cars, don't take sweets off strange men etc. The police came into school to do talks and we were shown videos with moustached men in Ford Capris. I was very accepting that some men (I never thought women) would do 'bad things' without the mechanics of buggery needing to be explained.

I did think that Nigella meant she told her son about anal sex in a 'this is what a peadophile might do' rather than 'this is what gay men sometimes do - and they might do it to you because gay is the same as paedophile.', right up until she started about cottaging and Carnaby Street. The waters got very muddy at that point.

My real wtf moment was glucose and her strange men (aka paedophiles) and the writing on the wall wrt her friends feminine (aka gay) son.

If she was explaining what a paedophile might do, she didn't need to explain what gay men do, it's a. irrelevant, b. Not entirely accurate and c. More detail than he needs wrt how children are harmed.

Want George arrested at night? I can't imagine all these gay man picking up other gay men in the loos are doing it at a time they risk young children finding them

I can definitely imagine him not understanding why he would need to be vigilant when alone in a public toilet and having to break it down from square one (i.e why another male would touch him)

A man touching an 8 year old boy in a sexual manner would be a paedophile.

Martorana - Maybe it depends where you live and what your experiences are. Because of the way my son is, I wouldn't let him use a male public toilet alone, he is very naive and not at all streetwise despite us living in what is considered to be a fairly rough part of London.

And think it's obvious to anyone with common sense that gay does not = pedophile. But I can understand a different way of interpreting her comments that are not as offensive.

"Martorana - Maybe it depends where you live and what your experiences are. Because of the way my son is, I wouldn't let him use a male public toilet alone, he is very naive and not at all streetwise despite us living in what is considered to be a fairly rough part of London."
You don't need to be streetwise to use a public toilet in broad daylight with your mum waiting outside!

TantrumsAndBalloons

I think you and a few others are being deliberately obtuse when considering any other interpretation of this issue, so I'll leave it there.