explaining gay sex

[BelleateSebastian]

My nearly 10 year old ds has just asked me how 2 men can have sex bloody Coronation street I explained the sex thing to him a couple of years ago, I subtly cowardly changed the subject, but I could see he was pondering the 'mechanics' he then seemed to have a 'light bulb' moment and hit the nail on the head, I confirmed he was correct, he didn't seem particularly perturbed and has gone to bed to finish Gangsta Granny!

Has anyone else had this question at such a young age? I feel like the very basics of sex is enough at 10 but it seems like everything is happening younger nowadays

Sparkling Presumably gat became fat so a mixture of the two, does it matter?

Confused. Some peadophiles are exclusively interested in the same or opposite gender, if you know of words to differentiate that you fell ate more appropriate feel free to educate me

Usual, back to my original point, I just don't see that in NDs post.
I feel that inference came entirely in responses.

What I read from NDs post is that in a public toilet away from you your child is vulnerable.
A boy in the mens is probably only going to be exposed to men (let's not complicate the situation with transgender issues)

Does you question mean would I expect to allow an unattended little girl into the women's unescorted?

I certainly wouldn't be offended if you said you didn't allow your dd in the women's alone, why would I be?

Well it's not correcting 'peadophiles' to the correct spelling for some reason HH.

Sparkling:
For some strange reason my phone has never really needed to type peadophiles and although it recognises a misspelling it doesn't have a suggestion for replacement

Fortunately for me I'm not the sort the be cowed by the thought of some one publicly pointing out my spelling mistakes

This is one of the strangest conversations i have ever read on here.

Well that's good HH. No cowing on this thread then.

I already have ffs

1. She is concerned that a tiny proportion of society who are male and sexually interested in young boys may see a public toilet as an opportunity.

The "mob thing"? You mean that thing where you're wrong and everyone else is right?

Apparently out gay men are the least likely group of adults to abuse children, other than out gay women.

My dad told me this. He was a police officer specialising in anti child sex abuse for years and years. He said it quite confidently, but not sure whether it was received wisdom or an actual Fact.

There is no such thing as a homosexual paedophile.

Usual, I see a little more about what your trying to get at but I still think its extrapolation.

For example when I was at senior school other kids would often ask me "but how can two women have sex, I don't get it"

So if you said to your massively over protected 30yo who is still not allowed to use a public toilet unattended

"You can't use the public toilets alone"
"Why mum"
"Something bad might happen"
"Like what"

At some point you have to explain that you are concerned that some one may touch them inappropriately. If they are under the impression that sort of thing comes primarily from men surely you would then have to 'explain about gay women' or a better turn of phrase might be that some women are interested in other women.

Jeez, is this really 2014?

These threads are always very strange to read if you're gay. Here I am bumbling along, going to work, picking my kids up from school, queueing in Tesco, and then I read OP is 'bracing herself' to explain what I do in bed to her kids...

Every time another parent presents my life as some kind of bizarre, out there thing that she has to swallow hard and find the words to even talk about, it makes my heart sink. Every time it's suggested that children shoudn't really be exposed to this until adulthood, it makes me worry about my own children, having to explain themselves and their family again and again in the playground, largely because other kids' parents won't do so.

Every parent who isn't homophobic has to accept the responsibility to educate their children about homosexual as well as heterosexual relationships. If your children haven't asked yet, use this time to make sure you're ready for the questions when they come. If they don't come, raise it yourself. There is no way you can maintain radio silence on the topic and think your children won't pick up a message from that. And there's no way children like mine won't suffer if children like yours have got the message that gay sex is a dirty secret.

My Ds sees sex as something adults do for pleasure, with or without a feather duster. He also understands biological sex in terms of procreation. He asks what something means I explain.

It's going fine so far. Well apart from the sex toy hiccup. But no ones perfect

Not wanting to get into an English lesson but if you have an a and an e it's usually ae as it's one letter but we don't generally use that letter any more.

No, there isn't a term to differentiate the difference between people who like boy children and girl children because it's irrelevant! They're all paedophiles!

1. She thinks paedophiles hang out in toilets waiting on little boys. Most children who are abused are abused by someone who knows them. It's so unheard of you're more likely to get injured by lightning. Why on earth would you explain to an 8yo boy HOW he would be abused by a stranger??? Not to mention as has already been said it's not the only way a boy could be abused. I'm pretty sure there's actually a category of abuse that covers that.

"Why can't I use the toilet on my own?"
"Because I say so" "Because you're 8" "Because you will be somewhere I can't get to if there's a problem" not because you might be anally raped by a gay man!!!

At the risk of getting embroiled into another heated debate that I do t have the energy for

Devora, most parents I know are squeamish about discussing the actual mechanics of any kind of sex to their children. There are some homophobic knobs who would have more of an issue explaining about man + man or woman + woman sex but I think like to assume that for the majority is about explaining sex for pleasure and not having had a good role model of that discussion.

Oh and it's driving me around the bend that people use paedophile and child abuser interchangably!

Devora, I remember asking my mum that question and she said "what do a man and a woman do together?" I don't see why it has to be so hard to explain either.

I told my ds everything by the time he was 10/11

He could list sexual diseases for you if you asked, lol.
I saw it as my responsibility to make sure he knew everything about something he might soon be doing, and to make sure he didn't ridicule or judge anyone else for their choices.
Sad to say his fathers side of the family were extremely homophobic (I cannot kiss you ds, boys who kiss other boys are gay) said exp in very demeaning tones

Glad to say that ds accepted my wonderful teachings bows gracefully and not long ago he was told due to how non judgemental he is he would be a great employee at the local sexual health clinic

I hope I haven't said anything unintentionally patronising ect here, but I hope your conversation and future ones with your children go well.
Children are not born judgemental they are made that way x

I tend to sit some where between tmi and because I say so.

I don't think it's is irrelevant, peadophiles can be interested in exclusively one gender or both. That does not change the term peadophile being applied but exclusive interest in one sex or the other or both has its own terms and unless you happen to know of terms that are specific to peadophiles that describe their gender preferences I will continue to use the words that serve my purpose.

Moreover I will continue to misspell peadophiles and will not let the spelling and grammar facists intimidate me out of a discussion in which I feel I have a contribution to make.

I'm all for proper scientific documents being subject to high levels of scrutiny but I don't think it's acceptable to attempt to derail a discussion to try and make someone feel inadequate due to their spelling

Hear hear Things, more of that is needed.

My mum was of the opinion that before I was exposed to rumours on the school playground I should know the truth from her.

I intend to follow her sterling example.

I know what do gay men and single mothers have in common...married men

Don't get it The insinuation that gay men & single mothers shag married men. Offensive to say the least, glucose. I know a few of both & none of them have been involved with married men.

I understand why people are piling in on Nigella, but I think she just worded it wrong. I didn't take it to mean what everyone else is translating it to be.

WhizzFucker it was glucose who alluded to gay men & single mothers only going with married men, not nigella!

Thank fuck it's not just me

I missed glucoses comment, must have been deleted by the time I saw it