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Original poster

Dear children...

152 replies

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 18/02/2014 10:36

Following on from dear husband, what confession do you have to make to your dc? (Not too serious by the way) I'll start.
Dear sons. When we moved and you couldn't find your box of "precious things" total junk ? We didn't pack it. Sorry.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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EatShitDerek · 18/02/2014 10:38

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AmeliaToppingLovesShopping · 18/02/2014 10:59

Dear DD2 you might remember being in the car with me when you were smaller and asking what I was eating. When I told you an apple you said you didn't like apples. Sorry to say I was lying and I was actually eating chocolate.

Anonymai · 18/02/2014 11:01

amelia Grin

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muppetthecow · 18/02/2014 11:03

Dear DS1,

Your push along, singing plane is not actually broken. It is in the shed because I want to smash it with a hammer can't bear the stupid songs and flashing lights.

2anddone · 18/02/2014 11:03

Dear DC
There is no such thing as spicy cereal, spicy biscuits or spicy chocolate its mine and I dont want to share them just because the ones I buy you have run out!
Also when we are at a restaurant and I tell you they hide cheese and onions in certain things on the menu that's because I know you wont eat them and want you to choose something you will actually eat if I am paying for it!

dobedobedo · 18/02/2014 11:08

Dear DS,

It's not true that all the tesco finest desserts have alcohol in them. It's just dh and I really like them and they only come in packs of two.

Sorry sweetie.

EmotionalCrotch · 18/02/2014 11:09

Dear Son...

When we went to soft play and saw a sign saying it was closed as it was being decorated.

I lied. I had in fact saw the car of a colleague who does my head in and if being paid my wages isn't enough to help me put up with them I am certainly not going to fork out my wages for the privalege of having my brain turned to mush as she witters on about bollocks.

You did however get a happy meal and a macflurry that day so all was not lost.

love Mam xxx

lazee · 18/02/2014 11:11

Dear ds1 (17),
You say you can only eat branded foodstuffs as cheaper versions taste "rank". For about a year I have been decanting ketchup,pop and cordial,replacing the inner bag of cereal etc into acceptable brand name containers. Oh, and those choc bars you love don't come from m and s.
They come from Aldi.(you eat em too quick to even read the packet)
Love you, Mum x

EmotionalCrotch · 18/02/2014 11:13

Another...

Dear Son,

Cheese on toast isn't little pizzas and it is cheese you are eating not pizza string...

Hmm
Anonymai · 18/02/2014 11:18

lazee that brings back memories! Grin I found out as a teen that my mum had done that for aaaaages!

Dear dd

When I put you to bed and creep away for a "weewee" (which as you know is the only reason you will allow for me to leave the room without you screaming when you've gone to bed) I'm actually going downstairs to eat mini eggs and watch breaking bad.

xxx

vladthedisorganised · 18/02/2014 11:21

Darling daughter,

Sadly, soft play isn't closed because of the rain. They've put their prices up and closed the cafe. From your perspective this means they still have the trampoline you love, from mine it means an expensive hour without the coffee I desperately need to survive an hour of 'ooh, look at how high you're jumping!'

I know the other one is inferior from your perspective because of its lack of trampoline, but it is a damn sight cheaper and I can have a coffee in peace.

HawkeyeInChaos · 18/02/2014 11:27

Dear dd(3)

You know that you go to nursery so that mummy can go to work. Well, since your little brother arrived last summer, mummy has not been going to work, or working from home. She has been sitting on the sofa, watching daytime tv and reading mn (because velcro baby won't be put down and i am knackered from didisturbed nights). But you are still going to nursery.

Love

Mummy

lljkk · 18/02/2014 11:29

Dear DS,
Yes I do know where your Android phone & DSi are. But since you keep chucking them around in tantrums I think I will sell them on Ebay & pocket the money (since you paid for them using pocket money I gave you). I just can't stand the destruction any more.

Maybe one day you'll grow up.

Impomea · 18/02/2014 11:42

Dear DS2 (19)
You know that cool designer coat I bought you .I led you to believe that I got it from that posh shop where your friend shops.In fact it was from an online retailer and only cost £30. Glad you love it though.

Adikia · 18/02/2014 11:47

DS - Despite what you keep telling people, you do actually eat vegetables, everyday, so does Dad, I just cut them up really small and sneak them into everything Grin

DD - I've not actually lost they key to the balcony, it's just last time you went out there you climbed on the railings and scared me out of 10 years of my life so I've hidden it.

thinking101 · 18/02/2014 11:50

dear ds

Please listen I'm at breaking point, I'm finding it hard to be around you.

EmotionalCrotch · 18/02/2014 11:53

thinking are you ok? Flowers

notanotherusername1 · 18/02/2014 11:55

These are great. We always said things were Mint flavoured to put our dc off wanting some. They both hate anything mint.

I could write numerous pages of this. Blush

Spoiltandentitled · 18/02/2014 12:03

I've name changed for this

Dear DS

I know you think we like your girlfriend but we don't very much, she's n only child and she's spoilt and entitled. She's never learnt how to share and I have moments where I actually want to shake her. However I can see that she is trying to play us off against each other so I will smile sweetly and put up with her in the hope that she will eventually trip herself up which I'm sure she will.

I love you very much and hate to see you being treated this way but all I can do is be here to pick up the pieces.

Love Mum

CheckpointCharlie · 18/02/2014 12:04

Dear dd2,
You know that Yorkie chocolate button, the one I saved you from last night and said was broken, it wasn't, I ate half of it and only saved you half.
Soz.

Also you know that big bag of soft toys that I put in the loft in case you ever wanted them again? They are not in fact in the loft. They are god knows where but I am sure they are still having fun.
Love you x

CheckpointCharlie · 18/02/2014 12:04

thinking need to talk about it?

NearTheWindmill · 18/02/2014 12:08

Dear DS (19)
The year you were doing common entrance and wouldn't focus there was nothing wrong with the internet into the house. Dad took your laptop to work and got the IT genius to disable the internet gateway until your exams were over.

Dear DD (15)
You really are incredibly beautiful and one day you will realise just how much.

Dear Both
I know full well you have the odd ciggie and DS yes, I also know about the little vodka bottles you used to hide in your sock drawer. I think it's normal and I have closed my eyes to your little misdemeanours.

Also, I love you both more than anyone can every imagine and the pair of you have made my life complete.

Love mum x

MrsFlorrick · 18/02/2014 12:08

Glad to see I'm not the only one using the "spicy" for all foods you wish to keep for yourself. GrinGrin

You've all cheered me up immensely. Grin

Thurlow · 18/02/2014 12:10

Dear DD,

The bedside lamp isn't broken. I just can't be arsed to roll over in bed and turn it on when you get in with me in the mornings.

Also, those yummy "biscuits" you like so much aren't biscuits. They are oatcakes. Sorry.

PenguinBear · 18/02/2014 12:16

Dear dd3,

Sometimes I book to see theatre shows that I want to see and pretend I am only going for you. You don't know it yet but you have begged me to take you to see 'What the Ladybird Heard' in April Wink

Love mummy