Dear children...

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

Following on from dear husband, what confession do you have to make to your dc? (Not too serious by the way) I'll start.
Dear sons. When we moved and you couldn't find your box of "precious things" total junk ? We didn't pack it. Sorry.

[QuietNinjaTardis]

Dear ds

I feel bloody awful that the reason you are so noisy, shout constantly and do not listen is because you have a problem with your ear. I'm sorry it took me so long to realise and hopefully once its sorted you may quieten down, listen to me more lives in hope

[Limelight]

Dear DS (and SIL and BIL who bought it for you as a present)

The ELC moving crab thing that you liked stopped working because DH threw it out of a window.

I encouraged this course of action.

Limelight x

PS It's still your Dad's fault.

[Catsmamma]

Dear Children

All those chocolate wrappers you used to see in the car were not "litter I picked up to put in the bin at home"

Also all the junk models that you used to bring home...remember how we used to leave them in the car to dry, do you remember the car was parked on the drive right next to the bin ? All those junk models were not stolen from the car at all. I put them in the bin. And I am not even sorry.

Also cauliflower and broccoli are not them same in different colours. Neither are peas also known as green sweetcorn.

Oh and the Plain Juice in the jug in the fridge....not juice at all my friends, just water.

Hugs and Buns

Your ever loving Mother

[Limelight]

Another one!

Darling DS

Pink sausages.

No, prawns actually.

[Chocotrekkie]

Dd2 yes the head will let you into school with dirty teeth - I just want you to brush them please without a tantrum.

[yourlittlesecret]

Blueandwhitelover

[Slapntickleothewenches]

Dear DS,
I dawdled going to the cinema today because it's half term and it's cheap day and I was hoping The Lego movie would sell out.
It did and I got to watch Mr Peabody & Sherman instead. And despite me promising, you will have to ask Papa to take you to see Lego as I doubt I'll get that lucky again :o

[fluffyraggies]

Dear DD.

Your beloved bear, Sammy, who went missing for a little while when you were 4, did not in fact ''go on holiday for a bit, and then post himself back home''.

In fact we lost him, but i found and bought an identical bear online

[LegoStillSavesMyLife]

Dear DC

Those sweets I just ate were sweets not strepsils. And frankly at 6 and 4 you should have been sharp enough to work that out.

Love ya

Mum.

[youarewinning]

Dear DS,

I'm sorry your struggling socially and I really wish I could do more to help you. I'm also sorry everything always seems to be a struggle - but it's so bloody has when you will only enjoy things you want to do.
You really are such a smart, bright and intelligent boy - you just need to try and understand that you can't make everyone see the world the way you do - and sometimes, just sometimes, you need not to question things and accept me the way they are.

'Cos lets face it noone is going to re designed the whole infrastructure of the UK and redesign most of the houses on it either

Love always
Mum x

[JustSpeakSense]

Dear DD

You do not actually stay up until midnight with your friends on sleepovers...we turn the clocks forward, you are actually asleep by 9pm

[youarewinning]

slap I took ds to Lego movie today - it was surprisingly good and I actually really enjoyed it!

[yolothankgod]

Dear Ds

Not everything I eat has raisins in & also not all meat is chicken

Also you dont go to bed at 10pm its 7pm .

One last thing Ds I only send you to my mums because. I'm struggling to cope with you and your behaviour , I can't sleep at night when you are here because I'm worried as soon as I do you will stop breathing for good so I sleep all day while you are at school

[Oubliette0292]

Dear DD - when we re-plastered your room we didn't really use special monkey-proof plaster (I'm really glad it did the trick and the nightmares have stopped though).

Dear DS - Santa didn't really find bear when he was lost and deliver him in your stocking. In fact I managed to buy an identical bear on EBay in time for Christmas. I'm so glad you think Santa is magic though, and that having bear back was the best Christmas present ever...

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

Oh and Little Monkey Lost? He was. He didn't stay at the zoo to look after his mummy.
Creme brûlée? Never had alcohol in it ever. I didn't change the recipe when you were 12.

[yolothankgod]

Oh and Ds Your 5 Goldfish Did not go to live with Memo at our Local Sealife centre , so the ones you rush to see every time we visit the SeaLife Centre they aren't yours, The Cat ate all yours

Also Henry-Gordon did not run away to live on the moon , he died and is buried under the shed at the bottom of the garden

[yolothankgod]

*Nemo not Memo

[ilovemybum]

Dear my clever, gorgeous DS

I'm sorry for shouting at you constantly when you wake up every night and refuse to go back to sleep for hours. I'm just tired and didn't realise how hard it would be raising you alone.

You really are my everything and I would be completely lost without you.

Love you millions
Mummy xxx

[rabbitlady]

dear daughter.
i love you everything.i am sorry for everything i've ever done wrong and will do wrong in the future. i am sorry you had to grow up with a mother with undiagnosed mental health problems. i am very proud of you and the way you have survived and managed to make a proper life for yourself and your family. thank you for loving me and looking after me.
mummy xxxxxxxxxxx

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Dear DS1,

your snuggly Winnie-the-Pooh is not the same one you had when you were born. It is an identical one that I managed to find on Ebay after we left yours in a hotel and they couldn't find it.

Dear DS2,

I'm really sorry that I got so cross with you yesterday, because then you were sick into my hands and I realised that you were poorly and not just being a pain in the arse.

Love you both,
Mummy xxxxxxx

[BallyGoBackwards]

Dear Son,

You know the way you think it is funny that there is two types of lamb.....lamb we eat and the animal. Well they are the same thing.

Love you

Mam

[GoofyIsACow]

DS1

You know those three chocolate eggs you brought home for you and your two younger brothers, well i will eat their eggs later and tell you they enjoyed them while you were out. Of course you can have yours.

Mummy

*disclaimer - brothers are 2 and not old enough to fully appreciate chocolate...

[QueenofLouisiana]

Dear DS,
I actually don't give a toss about your latest Minecraft house. I don't understand how similar it is to the one Stampy built, I'm not fascinated by how it will keep out the zombies. Sorry.

Mum x

[MrsKranky]

Dear DSD,

Remember when you woke in the night and was worried about the creaky noises in the house? It was not just the wind, it was me and your dad dtd.

I am sorry and we were trying to be quiet but we really do live in a very small house.

X