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Original poster

Now ATTENTION here all you first-time mothers, listen up...

168 replies

emkana · 25/07/2006 21:02

I have a ds, he is my third child. He is five weeks old. Atm I feed him whenever and he sleeps whenever he wants. Evenings are mostly spent with him on mine or dh's lap while I'm MNetting or watching TV or even sitting outside. Ds comes to bed with me when I go to bed.
I did the same with my two dd's. Over time things started to evolve into some sort of a routine, gradually we moved to a proper "bedtime" etc., and now they are five and three and very, very good at going to bed, and have been for a long, long time.
It really saddens me when I read all these worried posts about how to get a baby of a few weeks to settle in the evening etc., and all it seems to lead to often (not always, granted) is stress and worry and more stress.
I just want to reassure you all that no bad habits will be formed if you just with the flow for now and enjoy your baby and let him/her be with you.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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oops · 25/07/2006 22:57

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Gingerbear · 25/07/2006 23:04

Oh my, how much do I agree with you?!
DD spent the first 3 months of her life attached to me by breast or in a sling or over my shoulder. Everyone fussed and muttered 'Rod for your own back' But I didn't care.
DD still sneaks in with us now and again at 4, and I love snuggling up with her, rather than stressing about her getting back to sleep in her own bed.

LaDiDaDi · 25/07/2006 23:19

This is a great thread emkana! I let dd (11weeks) do what she wants and sometimes I can predict what that is and other times I can't so i just go with thre flow . I agree with Xavielli in that I can't imagine trying to get my baby to follow a routine devised by someone who had never met either of us.

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harpsichordcarrier · 25/07/2006 23:24

god yesyesyesyes
absolutely right
do you want to know who I blame for this madness?

Ponka · 25/07/2006 23:26

Totally agree. DS2 is now getting on for 4 months and is drifting towards a routine of sleeping in the evenings. I do like it when he sleeps because I can get on with what I need to do but I love it even more when he is awake because DS1 is asleep so it's special time for just him and me alone, something which is in short supply during the daytime.

hunkermunker · 25/07/2006 23:27

Can I guess, HC, can I, can I, can I?

MarsLady · 25/07/2006 23:28

well said emkana and as a mother of 5 I completely agree and second, third, fourth what you've said!

harpsichordcarrier · 25/07/2006 23:28

go ahead hinker

hunkermunker · 25/07/2006 23:31

Is it...Tracey Emin?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 25/07/2006 23:32

Dr spock?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 25/07/2006 23:32

No no no no wait - Maggie Thatcher Milk Snatcher?

oops · 25/07/2006 23:32

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hunkermunker · 25/07/2006 23:35

Bill Gates, it would seem

hotmama · 25/07/2006 23:44

So agree Emkana! And your chill out with subsequent babies. I dropped my mobile phone on dd2's head when she was a week old- just hugged her and said 'Never mind - silly mummy'. Now with dd1 I would have been in hysterics and ran to A&E!

controlfreaky2 · 25/07/2006 23:46

lol hotmama.... that's exactly what i did to ds1 at 3 days old... ran hysterically to hv round corner... ds was fine. i was gibbering wreck!

hotmama · 25/07/2006 23:49

It's amazing that we ever get 'allowed' to have more babies as we obviously are sooo crap first time around!

kama · 26/07/2006 00:09

This reply has been deleted

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NotAnOtter · 26/07/2006 00:16
all4girlz · 26/07/2006 00:25

lovely thread totally agree especially with morning paper loving every minute with my dd4 esp b/f hopes she doesnt self wean to soon

Sakura · 26/07/2006 00:29

Thank you for this thread
Im due my first baby in September, and just for fun and information I bought some books like The baby whisperer, No cry sleep solution, but my brain started hurting from overload of information. Im in Japan where they basically carry babies everywhere and routines are unheard of. My original idea was to go with my instincts, but then when you start reading all the literature on "structure", you start thinking well, maybe they know something I dont.`Nice to hear thats not true, and I can revert back to my original plan of just going with the flow and responding to my baby, and taking it to bed with me whenever I want, and take it out with me whenever I want to go out, instead of being confined in the house because of schedules!!

NotAnOtter · 26/07/2006 00:37

I have loved avery minute of my children esp ds3 and 4
I dont co sleep unless by accident
I do put my babies to bed in the evening
I do breastfeed
I do love cherish and worship my babies

Original poster
emkana · 26/07/2006 08:36

If people find themselves happier by sticking to routines then I wouldn't want to stop them, it just saddens me when some posters seem so stressed out by trying to get baby to sleep in a certain way, when these early days are so short-lived and tiring enough anyway.

OP posts:
nailpolish · 26/07/2006 08:41

i agree emkana

i remember a poster stressing cos her baby wanted to sleep on her lap/shoulder all day

i just told her "ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN!"

and i think she did

God, they are tiny for such a short time

FoghornLeghorn · 26/07/2006 08:42

I so agree Emkana.

My DB & SIL have just had a son who is now 8 days old, even by day 2 the midwife was coming into the room complaining about them holding him people keep making the rod for your own back comments but i've told them to just go with the flow and see how it goes, he is still so tiny and if they want lots of cuddles with him then why the hell shouldn't they

Pruni · 26/07/2006 08:49

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