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Original poster

Private parts of the body?names

164 replies

bouncyball · 19/07/2006 19:17

Hello I have a DD 2.6 and a 9mth DS. My DD is now interested in what boys bits are because she sees them in the bath every day.
What do you call the genetalia with your children?
We've slipped into 'tinky winky' for his little willy but what do you say for a girl? I can't remember having a childhood name for mine!

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Heathcliffscathy · 19/07/2006 20:40

harpsi it's penis and vagina chez nous. i'll try changing it to vulva but it could cause confusion and i'm not sure i want him trying to get a look up there!

He is two and half and often asks (when one of us is in the bath with him as we do every night) whether mummy has a penis or daddy has a vagina.

And now i'm going to say it: i really do think that the coy idiocy around calling genetalia something other than what they are sets kids up to feel from an early age that there is something embarrassing and shameful about their bodies. it's really bad news imo. it's also demonstrative of real discomfort in those that do it i think.

phew.

Heathcliffscathy · 19/07/2006 20:40

would help if i could spell when i rant wouldn't it

Kelly1978 · 19/07/2006 20:42

canary?!
at the whoel situation though, rather an eye opener.

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spidermama · 19/07/2006 20:44

Sophable, once again I find I'm in total agreement with you.

marthamoo · 19/07/2006 20:59

Ds1 has just started sex ed at school (they call it something else these days). I was seriously impressed when I looked through his book at parents' evening and saw the page where he had listed boy bits and girl bits: in the girl bits were vulva, vagina and clitoris...I've met grown men who don't know the location of a clitoris (or possibly even of its existence). He'd also listed 'boobs' rather than breasts (I asked him when I got home and he said he couldn't remember the proper name at the time) but I think I'll let him off that one (at least he didn't put norks )

hana · 19/07/2006 21:00

sex and relationship education SRE at my school!

MrsBadger · 19/07/2006 21:12

I am a fan (as I've previously mentioned) of starting with the wee-hole, poo-hole (and when appropriate) baby-hole approach as it is scientifically accurate, impossible to misunderstand, satisfies even the most logical questioner and is easy to swap in urethra, anus and vagina as the Real Names later.
Haven't brought myself to use vulva just yet but definitely no coy acronyms chez Badger.

Doesn't answer 'why are boys' wee-holes at the end of their willies and girls' aren't' though...

Heathcliffscathy · 19/07/2006 21:12

spidey except about child free weddings iirc hehe

mm: that is seriously impressive. wow.

nooka · 19/07/2006 21:23

I went for vulva after a previous thread, but it hasn't stuck, and now ds has decided that dd has a mini, and she seems to have gone with that too. I don't have a major problem with this as I tend to use the proper words in serious discussions (where do babies come from) and the everyday words in daily living - as in "don't forget to wash your mini", "get your hands off your willy whilst I'm reading to you" etc. Seems to work OK.

harpsichordcarrier · 19/07/2006 21:25

why would you not use the proper words in everyday conversation though. e.g. don't forget to wipe your vulva. is your penis inside the toilet?

FrannyandZooey · 19/07/2006 21:26

oh, sorry HC

I was obviously badly brought up

Kelly1978 · 19/07/2006 21:26

I don't actually use anything in day to day convo now I think of it. I say stop holding yourself, have you wiped yourself, wash down there etc. I must teach dd vulva tho, I really must!

donnie · 19/07/2006 21:28

minnie or minkie is our terminology!

MamaG · 19/07/2006 21:28

boys - willy

girls - lily (she named it herself)

me - fish mitten

Squarer · 19/07/2006 21:29

Just as an aside....
Anyone seen anything of Bouncyball?
Come back Bouncyball! Are you enlightened or just frightened?

harpsichordcarrier · 19/07/2006 21:29

the thing is, by saying things like "down there" and even wee hole you are passing on very clear messages to your children. I mean you don't say food hole instead of mouth. and you don't feel inhibited about mentioning your children's ears. Children get the message.
Choice of language is so important I think.

Squarer · 19/07/2006 21:30

at fish mitten

i think....

harpsichordcarrier · 19/07/2006 21:30

mamaG at fishmitten
is that worse than gash?

Heathcliffscathy · 19/07/2006 21:30

why?

do you call their eyes peepholes???? do you call their knees noo-noos????

Kelly1978 · 19/07/2006 21:32

I don't feel inhibited at all, I jsut never really thought about it. It jsut happens I guess, I never had names for it, def never heard of vulva as a child. Now I am thinking though, I just know that if I say 'stop holding your vulva' now I'm going to have a gigglign 6yo who is going to take some convincing that yes, it is called a vulva, and I think I will have to explain that the hole is different and is a vagina, etc...I think it is overdue tho.

nooka · 19/07/2006 21:33

HC I agree with you in principle, but in practice it just hasn't worked out like that, and once at school they seem to have their own opinions. But I think it's still a step up from me, I don't think my mother ever referred to my vulva by any name or at any time! Dh calls them my flappy bits (yuk!), and when he does talk about my clitoris I find it vaguely disturbing as it sounds so clinical to me.

harpsichordcarrier · 19/07/2006 21:33

squarer -
sorry bouncyball

bit of a bugbear of mine
clearly

Kelly1978 · 19/07/2006 21:33

I LOVE fishmitten!

Squarer · 19/07/2006 21:34

It should become a popular childrens ditty really.
All together now...
Heads, shoulders, penis, knees, penis, knees, Heads, shoulders, penis, knees, penis, knees
And eyes and ears and.....

MamaG · 19/07/2006 21:34

oh OK so I have never actually USED the phrase Fish Mitten - it just makes me laugh sooo much

Somebody posted a link to a thread about names for your ladygarden (!) and that one stuck in my mind.