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Original poster

Do you think this is reasonable?

134 replies

roisin · 24/02/2004 13:25

DS1 goes to Beavers on a Tuesday at 5.45 pm. At this time ds2 is in his pyjamas having a bedtime story about to go to bed. When it finishes an hour later ds2 is fast asleep.

Usually dh is here at that time (I know, lucky me), and one of us pops him down, but tonight he is away.

The church hall is only 200 yards up the road, then across a busy road, but there is a pedestrian crossing. DS1 is only 6.5, but he is very sensible/reliable regarding safety issues.

How many of you think I would be forever branded as "terrible mother" if I let him go and come back by himself?

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twiglett · 24/02/2004 13:26

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zebra · 24/02/2004 13:28

I think 6yo is the official age when they are supposed to be safe crossing the road by themselves? According to RSfPA, etc.

Angeliz · 24/02/2004 13:28

I too think he is too young. If another parent could walk him down, you could be out to meet him.

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mrsjingles · 24/02/2004 13:30

Personally I would never let a 6 year old do that, I am perhaps an over worrier, but I could never forgive myself if anything happened on the way, could you??

Trifle · 24/02/2004 13:31

Would definitely not let him walk home alone but would leave the younger child asleep in the house on their own for the 10 minutes it takes to collect him.

secur · 24/02/2004 13:33

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spacemonkey · 24/02/2004 13:33

Agree, I think he's too young too

binkie · 24/02/2004 13:34

I wouldn't - but then my eldest isn't yet 5 & maybe there's a big development? Would be interesting to know at what age people generally allow the first solo outing. Has he ever done something like this before? I have heard it's sensible to do some practices, where you send them out alone but then shadow them from a distance.

Also, won't it be dark, at least when he comes home? If he hasn't gone alone before, think it ought to be daylight for the first time.

Original poster
roisin · 24/02/2004 13:41

Aw come on, someone back me up! I genuinely thought this was borderline, rather than outrageous! What happened to children having freedom and responsibility?

Thank you those of you who have posted so far. I would be interested to know the age of your eldest child, if you would care to post again.

He does go to the letter box on his own (and has been doing for over a year) which is a similar distance, less busy road but no crossing, and he has walked to the church on his own before on a Sunday morning, but only when we were following 5 mins afterwards.

The Beaver leader definitely wouldn't say anything to me ... I'm "the vicar's wife" and he's scared of me

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Angeliz · 24/02/2004 13:43

my dd is 3 tomorrow but i'm still sure i wouldn't let her out alone at 6.
But my mam wouldn't let me walk to the Spa the other night at 9pm and i'm 30

mrsjingles · 24/02/2004 13:45

My eldest is 5.5yrs

spacemonkey · 24/02/2004 13:46

roisin my ds is 10 and dd is 12

I can't remember exactly what age they were when I started letting them go out on short trips unaccompanied - about 9 I think! Am I ridiculously overprotective?

zebra · 24/02/2004 13:49

I think I would let him go, Roisin, based on other 6yo children I've known, but my DS is only 4 so I don't have a very good grasp of 6yos, yet.

I was walking by myself almost a mile to/from school at age 7 every day, including one busy road to cross.

Tinker · 24/02/2004 13:51

Well mine is nearly 7 and I wish I could say I'd let her go but I know I wouldn't, not yet. Probably in a year or so.

Galaxy · 24/02/2004 13:53

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Mermaid2 · 24/02/2004 13:55

Sorry, still too young.

oliveoil · 24/02/2004 13:59

Too young I think, but then I walked to infants with my big (well 15 months older) sis when little so I maybe we are too protective nowadays.

Original poster
roisin · 24/02/2004 13:59

THANK YOU ZEBRA! 10 against 2 so far Any more opinions?

Seriously, I am genuinely interested in your views, and want to know if everyone disagrees with me (and Zebra!)

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secur · 24/02/2004 14:05

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secur · 24/02/2004 14:05

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marialuisa · 24/02/2004 14:06

I think I'd want to wait until it was light in the evenings and then have a couple of trial runs, so maybe linger on the other side of the crossing at the first time etc. Also does the crossing have traffic lights or are you reliant on drivers' stopping? If traffic lights I'd be less concerned. but as I realised from Hmb's thread about trikes on country roads, i am quite relaxed about roads and traffic.

WideWebWitch · 24/02/2004 14:09

roisin, I know lots of my friends would do it, definitely. I do think it's borderline rather than outrageous actually. My ds is 6.5 and I'm not sure what I'd do tbh. Probably drive with the other one in pyjamas in the back, thus antagonising the anti driving brigade () can you watch him over the road from your door and then get them to call you once he's there?

twiglett · 24/02/2004 14:10

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ghengis · 24/02/2004 14:11

My eldest is 11 and I wouldn't havelet him do this himself. I'd disrupt the routine of the younger one for once. Sorry!

tealady · 24/02/2004 14:15

My ds is 6.5 and I would say definitely no. I thought they needed to be at least 8 before they can make safe judgements about road crossing etc.