Do you think this is reasonable?

[roisin]

DS1 goes to Beavers on a Tuesday at 5.45 pm. At this time ds2 is in his pyjamas having a bedtime story about to go to bed. When it finishes an hour later ds2 is fast asleep.

Usually dh is here at that time (I know, lucky me), and one of us pops him down, but tonight he is away.

The church hall is only 200 yards up the road, then across a busy road, but there is a pedestrian crossing. DS1 is only 6.5, but he is very sensible/reliable regarding safety issues.

How many of you think I would be forever branded as "terrible mother" if I let him go and come back by himself?

Don't know how i managed to miss this thread. My dd is 6 and i wouldn't even consider it. She is very resposible, stops at edge of road e.t.c, but on very rare occasions, when engrossed in conversation with a friend, i have had to shout STOP to her. We live in a 3 storey block of flats and my kids aren't allowed to play out either.

It's just occurred to me that one of the huge differences in traffic from when we were kids, apart from the sheer volume, is the number of 17/18/19/20 yr-old etc boys who are driving now. They kill themselves with tragic regularity due to carelessness/inexperience/bravado - they don't see little kids at all, in daylight let alone at night - they ignore speed limits far more than the rest of us and could easily overlook a red light if distracted.

I know you've done it now, roisin, and luckily it was OK, and obviously letting them go out alone like this does wonders for their confidence, but I would never have let one of mine make that trip at 6. DS2, who's nearly 11, went to Tesco - a 5 minute walk away - at 7.30 last night to get a Jif (we finally had pancakes!); he was gone ages and I found I was beginning to get anxious before he came back. Maybe I am paranoid and didn't know it!

Yes, teenagers driving. So many of them have been killed in our area, but none of them seem to learn from this.
Re road sense, I think young children act like dogs off a lead. Fine and sensible until they see a cat across the road and then instinct takes over. I know they have to learn somehow, but the roads are such an all-or-nothing learning curve, there's no margin for a little mistake. Adults sometimes misjudge the speed and distance of approaching cars, so I can't imagine how a 6yr old is supposed to cope.

Ive just seen this thread. My eldest two are 7 and 9 and TBH I wouldnt let them do this across a busy road, and the 9 year old in particular is pretty sensible. At 6 they are way to young to know enough about road safety IMO to be able to cross a busy road, regardless of whether it has a pedestrian crossing. Its not so much that the child would be irresponsible, more that a car driver could be.

I am in a very similar situation roisin,my ds2 (7) goes to beavors in the village hall,5 mins walk up straight road with one crossing of road opposite our house.DS1 (10) usually stays in house whist I walk with ds2 and ds3 (2).Ds2 has no road sense and is very young so wouldn'tlet him go on his own.At the end I do the reverse with Ds3 in pushchair,have thought about leaving him in bed,the whole operation takes no more than 10 minutes as ds1 is sensible and is in house doing homework but so far have not.

Ds1 goes to Cubs ,same location ,on his own sometimes and sometimes with 17 year old neighbour who helps at cubs.If on his own he goes on his scooter,wears his refective coat and I see him accross the road,he loves this independence and has no fear,we live in small friendly village,yes I know things could go wrong and I will not let him ride bike even in summer aswith scooter he can stay on path,butmy job as a parent is to bring up my children to be useful,self relient members of society and I know that he is capable so I have to swallow any nerves I have.Incidentally I cannot see me letting ds2 have the same independence at 10 because his mnature is more impulsive and I think it unlikely that I could trust him but I will have to make that judgement when the time comes.
ds1 is alos allowed out in the village in daylight on his own at the playing field etc,MIL horrified but DH was allowed out for whole days aged 12 on his bike and he seems to have survived

Just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who's posted on this thread. I feel like I've known some of you a long time, and I do appreciate you giving your opinions.

I've been avoiding posting, because I don't really want to descend into a debate, but I do keep checking in, and am very interested to read all the postings.

Thank you

Hi

I just picked up on this and I suppose I'm miles out of date but here is my view. Lucky are the people who think the world is so safe that they can talk about 'paranoid parenting'. Unfortunately if you have come into contact with the world of abusers you realise that there are plenty of people out there who mean a lot of harm to children. Once you have encountered these people it opens your eyes to reality.

Six is very young to make decisions about people from the adult world - however sensible a child is. Take this example from adult experience: when I was a student I was walking round to a friend's house at about 9pm one evening. It was dark but a built-up central location. A car pulled up and a well-dressed, well-spoken man said 'Hire car, where are you going?' Just for a second I thought maybe Id get in and save myself the walk. But commonsense returned and I refused. The man then said, 'I'm not a hire car actually, but do you want a lift anyway?' What might have happened had I got in?

As it turned out, this sort of incident occured to several students I knew in the area. If WE can be nearly so easily duped, what about a child of 6?

Busy roads equal people in rapid transit. 6 just isn't old enough to make a sensible decision.

Jx

Rosin
I think times change and all that.

When I was 5 I remember once my mother walked me to the intersection of our road (we lived in the countryside) then I went on my 3 wheel bicycle to school.. which was around 2 kms--- over a big intersection and railway line. I lived thank goodness.

I am amazed she did it looking back. She is quite protective and I cannot believe she did it ( I do not think I could )

I do remember feeling quite proud of myself and that my bike was parked up outside the classroom - did not lock it either!!

Ds who is 8 stepped out in front of a car the other day. Luckily the car swerved. He was going to scool with dh and they followed the same routine they have always done for over three years when getting out of the car ie dh stands by the car with his arms out and ds walks behind him to the pavement.
DS thought dh said to cross so started to...