I'm not even sure if I like Ds1 anymore......

[LadyTophamOfHattingford]

He absolutley drives me around the fuc*ing bend.

Every single day we have the same issue. Honestly, without fail he will come in to our romm and wake me up to ask a random question even though EVERY night I tell him not to wake me up.

Every day I have to nag him to pick his stuff up whther it's PJ's, clothes, books, games, everything. He plays with it, wear it (or whatever) and just leaves it there when he's finished.

Every night at dinner it's the same things we have to say to him. "Sit on the chair properly", "use your folk/knife properly", "stop messing about"...it goes on and on.

Every day he seems to jump on every opportuntity to wind the other 2 up. Takes stuff they are playing with claiming they weren't even though I know they are and might have put it down to put something else with it.

He never accepts the first answer he gets unliess of course it's yes. Honestly his 2 yr old brother is better at accprting the word No.
He cries if he isn't allowed to do what he wants.

I made a start chart thing last week with a "before school", "after school" and a "before bed" section. Ds1+ 2 have to get a star in each section to earn pocket money. Ds2 loves it and tries so hard to get his little chores done (it's stuff like, homework first then telly, put Pj's on bed, dirty clothes in washing bin in each section so nothing difficult) and has got a star in each section. Ds1 on the other hand has less than half the amount and he honestly couldn't care less. I really don't know why I've bothered making it for him.
He is harder work than ds2+3 put together and in 7months time when this new one arrives he'll still be harder work than all 3.

Over the years I've been on MN I've started a few threads like this about him so I'm really not sure if anyone has anything new to suggest. I think I just want to get it off my chest.

how abotu startting that thing enid did hwen her dd was drivign her nuts
of having 30 mins alone wiht him>

re the no/yes thing
when does he go to bed? i have taught ds1 "angry hands" to do when he feels frustrated.

r ethe meal thin try doing the reverse - saying " i can do theis whole meal wihtout letting my hands touch any food" " lets see how clean we can keept he floor" bet you are really nagging him tbh try and change your praise ratio too so thatt her is a lot more of " well doen you are playing really well" ratehr than reacting when fhe goes mad wiht his brothers.

re the bedroom thing - dh has a good tip - he tells ds1 not to come down after getting fressed till ther is NOTHING on hsi floor - we chack obv too and so that is done beofre he can turn ont he pc/g o out/wathc tv

What about a note stuck to your bedroom door or on the landing so he can read it when he comes out of his room in the morning? (If he's old enough.) He can't say he forgot then.

Did wonders for my sanity when my eldest kept waking me up too early.

the bedroom thin is really naughty
has he a clock
what time IS he allowed to wake you up
he obv misses you tho

TBH it's got to the point now where I can't ever spend time with him with him winding me up.

I am aware of that so I really try to reverse it to be less naggy etc but it's soooo bloody hard.
I really can't understand why he doesn't see that the attention he gets for being whiny and annying isn't nice.
The other 2 do whatever and get praise etc where as he'll carry on and not get the rpaise just be nagged or shouted at.
He gets attention for being annying but can't do what I say to get the attention that is nice....does that make sense??

What sort of questions is he asking you?

Can you get him a Big Boy Book Of Facts and tell him he's to read it when he wakes up because you're sure it contains the answers to LOTS of the questions?

Or get a big elastic band, loop it under the mattress and strap him to the bed at night (can you tell I'm fretting about DS1 not being in a cot soon?!).

Hmmm.I have more bother with the 12 year old than the 6 and 2 year olds out together.I think sometimes that I expect so much more of the eldest one.Could he being feeling a bit pressured to be 'grown-up' and responsible (specially with the new one on the way.Congrats btw!)and so he's regressing his behaviour to compensate.
Do you know what I mean?

dont accpet any whiney baby voices
if he says it liekt hat make him say it agin

Doesn't matter that it's shouty attention - it's attention. Kids are odd little buggers, LTH - remember that. Logic won't feature till he's MUCH older - if at all

Can you give him no attention when he's whiny - just say "we don't use that voice" and then ignore him?

He shouldn't get any attention when he's acting up, even bad attention because to him attention is attention, whatever you are saying to him.

Ooops crossed with Hunker.

i am sad that lth really sounds at the end of her tether wiht him but hes a little boy. :(

Sounds like he enjoys the attention that arises from being a bit naughty.
How old is he?

Yeah but Cod little or not he's probably a very clever little boy and knows full well that his behaviour will get him attention.

ok re mornigns
get himn a CLOCK

after 6 30 he may leave hi sorom adn go wodn wstaire to atch tv

he may not wake up anyone else
when you are awake you will open your door thn h can come in

if he comes in hten he will get 5 mins added on to his room time

Don't know all the history or how old he is but it does sound like attention-seeking. Esp the coming in to you first thing. Maybe he feels that if he wakes you up he gets your attention first if that makes sense. Even if it is not the right attention he has it first. What does he do when he comes in? Would he get in to bed with you for a cuddle?

Cn you persevere a bit with giving him one-on-one with you? It may make a difference.

The bedroom thing drives me utterly insane.

He'll come in to ask if he can put the telly on even though I've told him time and time agin that he can. Or the Pc.

At our old house he made himslef a sign for the bedroom door. It's lasts a week or 2 and he'll start again.

i agree budda

if he came in and i had told him not to till a certain time then i woudl take him back and tell him off big time. then shut the door again.
but htink this deffo need combingin with some mumadn big boy time.

he seems to be revetign to needy bahaviour to get attetion

LTH, when you feel LEAST like grabbing him and giving him a big laughing tickly cuddle, try doing just that. Will confuse the hell out of him, for starters - and possibly start break the whinge/nag cycle?

How old is he again, LTH? Do you spend any time with just him?

(It's hunker btw - not necessarily immediately apparent with this daft name )

7

i htink he needs time wiht lth in the evenign whne the others are in bed/ having storeis or wathgin tv

Do they get one on one time of an evening ??

Mine were all going to bed at the same time until very recently because I was too scared (yes i know pathetic) to take the fall out from making Dd2 go to bed at a seperate time to dd1.

Now Ds goes at 7 so then Dd2 gets half hour with me to do what she likes, read or whatever. Then at 7.30 she goes up and reads and I spend half hour with Dd1, reading or something and then at 8 she goes up and reads and Dd2 has to go to sleep.

It has worked like a dream, non of them complained and they really enjoy the one to one time.

The only time we don't do it is fri, and sat nights as they stay up later and in the hols like this week.

thast great nuitty
wel done you