URGENT ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE ON CONFRONTING A PARENT!

[7up]

last night my sons msn flashed up with a message off a girl (who'd hed befriended for a short while and then they argued and fell out and havent spoken since, hes 11, shes 12)

anyway she put a message up asking him to check his website he'd made and she'd accessed it and put disgusting obscenities under pics of his 18month bruv, saying things like "this is lukes brother and luke sucks his cock" etc etc. anyway my boy saw red and a huge nasty msn argument occurred. her calling him goofy, him calling her ginger minge etc etc.the words, cunt, bitch, queer, used throughout the chat and culminated in her threatening to beat him up, him threatening to kill her blah blah blah.

anyway i presume its the girls mother has just knocked, i was nappy changing so hung out of the window and saw a large lady storming off down the road. ive never met her before. her daughter is home taught because shes been kicked out of a few schools for bullying. now, i dont mind confrontation im basically not scared of women coz ive had so many abusive men in my life. BUT i dont know whether to sit and wait for her to knock again or go and confront her, only prob being i would have my toddler with me?

"cant believe the child talks like that"

well sorry people but they do at that age
and your chidren will be doing the same whether you like it or not
please dont be so hard on 7up

7Up I would wait for her to confront you and then show her what her precious dd has done

also instill into your ds that no swearing is allowed on msn (in your home) or the pc will be offbounds
good luck
xxx

Tbh, you did condone it. You saw the captions under his brothers picture and you continued to let him speak with this girl. That aside, I wouldnt approach the woman, particularly if it means your toddler being present. If she comes round again, ask he to come back when it is convenient if he is around. Then, refusing to get into any slanging matches with her, show /tell her what her daughter did (assuming that shes coming round to have a go at your son) and ask that she speaks with her and tells her why it isnt acceptable. Apologise for your sons remarks and leave it at that.

thanks desperatescousewife, hes actually grounded for the week because of it. he never verbally swears at home, although i know him and his mates at school do

DSW is right, your son should have a warning and consequence if behaviour is repeated.

Ah, x posts .

madmarchare, i was upstairs nappychanging when it got really nasty

7up, the parent may be coming round to discuss your involvement last night, if her dd has said something along the lines of

"Me and x fell out, he thrreatened to kill me then his mum had a go at me too" then her monther is bound to be angry (rightly or wrongly). I am not condoning any of the behviour here but I think it is important to difuse the situation rather than aggrivate it.

If she does come round shouting the odds just tell her that you completely understand why she is upset, that you are equally upset and that you welcome the fact that she has come around to discuss it because you can hopefully work together to resolve the issue. If she's shouting on your doorstep and causing a disturbance just call the police to remove her.

I suppose it doesnt matter now, it seems clear that she was the one who 'started it'. Its more a matter of how you deal with it isnt it? I would definately try to stay calm though.

i think il speak to my ds when he comes in shortly as i had asked him to apolgise lastnight to her but he says she started it blah blah balh , im actually shaking with the anticipation of her knocking so i think il have to go and see her or put the note through the door. thank you all for your replies, it has helped

7up i wouldnt ground him tbh as he was provoked to be honest
i would caution him on his use on the computer

thanks for that fio, i thought i had the only child that used bad language

7up nah have caught one of my kids sticking their fingers up behind my back LOL
and yes they all do it

ps 7up if she starts knock her head off
and boot her arse up her road

ta desperatescousewife, im dreading when he gets to proper teens and not this spotty frustrated middle stage

7up he will be getting pissed on street corners

Caught my ds googling something fearfully improper at the age of 10!! Had to google it myself to find out what it meant (not joking).
It is the thing to do at that age and cool to swear as much as possible.

Meant to add that the thing not to do is to go all maiden auntish about the language. It is standard language amonst themselves. A red herring.
The website mods are the bad thing here, a really spiteful thing to do. How did she get into it anyway?
Your son only had a verbal argument with her and just needs to know not to react like that another time, but to call for parental support and save the evidence.

quangle, she showed him how to do the website at her house a few months ago so had the password etc to access it. ive found it on his history but dont know how to bring it up to print it

WHEN YOUVE GOT IT UP,RIGHT CLICK AND IT SHOULD COME UP WITH THE OPTION TO PRINT

then shove the print down her mothers throat if she starts

me and scousey are coming round to help you sort her out!!

it just comes up with collapse!really annoying. ive just spoke to ds and he said he had a lovely day at school and did really well in maths and added that he wont apologise for what she put on the pictures. cant say i blame him, it was gross. im going to tescos and then think il wait and see if she knocks again. fingers crossed she wont jump me!

7up also i would consider getting the police in about what her dd has said about your youngest child
not on imo

not shocked at all about the swearing, most older kids do, or at least know the words, but i am shocked at what the evil little witch wrote about your ds2, i think your ds1 was right to stick up for his brother, maybe best if in future you dont let him upload pics of either of them onto websites, especially as this horrible kid might do something like this again, as for the mum, i would just inore her, its not worth adults rowing over.