How do I steer DD away from her odd school friend?

[helenhn]

DD is 6 yrs old and she has known a little girl since before school. However, this girl has some odd characteristics (wearing school uniform to weekend birthday parties) and doesn't have many friends at school and has latched onto DD. She has now started 2 of the out of school clubs which DD goes to (because DD goes to them) and hangs around her at any parties. This little girl is quite intense and if DD doesn't play with her at school she just sits on her own in the playground or follows DD around. My (and DH's) main concern is that this little girl also has quite a negative attitude ("I am rubbish at this" "I hate this" "I can't do this" etc.) and she is quite naughty which has started to rub off on DD and DD is becoming cheeky and uses the same negative phrases which we don't like. I haven't raised my concerns about this friendship with DD's teachers, but I think I will do at the next parent's evening. I have also gently steered DD and suggested that she plays with her other friends at playtimes but have avoided saying "Don't play with XX" (but do say to DD "You are not as nice a little girl when you play with XX"). I am also good friends with this little girl's mum who encourages the friendship with DD and I am conscious that DD could say "Mummy told me not to play with you"!

Can anyone offer any help or suggestions as to how I can reduce this friendship?

No, you horrible woman! Jesus.

Wow. Poor girl. Not yours.

You need to chill out. We're talking about 6 year olds here. Your dd is going to meet and make friends with a whole range of people during her life and you won't be able to control it at all. This other child sounds perfectly okay.

do you think your daughter will catch poor from a girl who can't afford weekend clothes? why not send her some of your daughter's outgrown clothes instead of trying to "reduce a friendship"? Your daughter will play with who she wants to .

If both girls are happy butt out. The poor girl sounds lonely and you are encouraging your dd to add to that
If you are good friends with her mum, do you know why she wears her uniform to parties and weekends?

I agree with the other posters, you sound very mean. Your dd however sounds lovely, befriending this other girl who sounds like she's quite lonely

I'm glad your daughter has more empathy than you do. Isn't it a testament to your daughter that she wants to be friends with someone who doesn't appear popular?
I understand your concern about the negativity, but how about chatting with your dd about how to bolster her friend's confidence, and being a bit more positive yourself?

Wow. Feel sorry for your "good" friend (if only she knew!), her dd and your dd tbh!

Dd sometimes wears her school pe shorts outside of school and always wears her school socks when not in school despite having masses of clothes. She wore her Brownie trousers on holiday. Never occured to me anyone would think this odd.

No! So if you stop your DD playing with this girl, she won't have anyone else to play with? Seriously, how do you think she would feel then, if she's so negative now!

Perhaps the other child's mother feels that your dd is a negative influence on her dd and her dd always seems to be negative when playing with her.

Kids go through phases of only wearing certain clothes, no matter how many nice things they may have in the cupboard! My dd went through a phase of wearing her Sleeping Beauty costume every single day, over the top of her other clothes and it just wasn't worth the fight trying to get her not to wear it!

Poor girl . The only bit I slightly agree with is telling DD that just because her friend is naughty it doesn't mean she should copy. Everything else just butt out!

I agree with the ^ posters that UABU trying to "reduce this friendship". However, you are entitled to be concerned if you think this child's low self esteem and poor behaviour is rubbing off on your own child.

The way to deal with this, though, is to talk with the little girl's mother to see if she can address her daughter being "naughty" (you would need to have examples of this to show her), and to praise both girls when they show good behaviour, not to just try and move your daughter away. If your daughter picks up poorer behaviour from this child, you need to ensure that your daughter knows what behaviour you expect of her and that she feels confident enough in herself not to change to model other children's behaviour, not just to move her away. How are you going to go about pulling her back from every friend or boyfriend that you feel is a bad influence as she grows up?

Your dd is clearly a much more tolerant person than you are!

How many people do you know who have only the same friends as adults that they met aged 6? And how many people do you know who felt bullied at school when their friends left them out in the playground!

you have a good friend? and rather than talking to her you are going to 'bring it up' with the school?
whatever.

Six year olds are often a bit odd, have odd phases. they grow out of it. how nice that your dd isnt influenced by others andis hsppy to play with her. as for your dd getting naughtier again thats an age / testing boundaries thing.

Hope if your dd goes through an odd phase that other parents dont tell their kid to avoid yours. how nasty.

I hope your "good friend" has other, real friends. Your dd sounds nicer than you.

Wow... Where is your empathy? Do you seriously want that poor child to sit alone at playtime because she isn't 'cool' enough to play with your daughter?

I am speechless.

Lets be honest you're not good friends with this childs mum - I can't even begin to imagine feeling this way about a friend of my daughters at all never mind if I actually knew her Mum. They're 6, I have a just turned 7 year old dd, friendships change, children change hugely at around this age.

If you want to discourage this friendship - why don't you just tell this good friend of yours that her little girl is odd and you don't want her hanging around with your daughter, I'm sure she's have the good sense to tell you to feck off nice and quick.

Bloody hell. I'm speechless too. You obviously aren't good friend's with this woman at all. Those aren't the words of a friend.

I'm hoping this is a reverse AIBU and no parent would actually 'steer' their child away from playing with a child that is obviously lonely.

I hope you are bored and trying to wind people up.
I don't hope this is an reverse Aibu (although I know what serotonin means) because that would be heartbreaking for you and your child.

I wish people like the op were all made up tbh

Kinda thought you would get that reaction. I would however share your concerns if I was in your situation. Children of all ages are influenced by their friends. Have you ever had a chat with friends mum about why she chooses to wear school uniform to birthday parties? It's a shame the child has such a negative attitude. I would be worried about that 'rubbing off' on my child.