You know you're a mum/dad when ....

[Mich100]

... The catchy tune you are humming all day is not the usual Elbow, Adele or some other hip tune, but the character tunes from 'In the Night Garden'.
Iggle Piggle wiggle Iggle, dum de dum de dum

omg yes to all of these!!!

When does this happen??!!

When you permanantly have a snotty tissue in your pocket/bra/sleeve.

And it's not your snotty tissue :-(

You are pinned to the bed upstairs bfing frantic newborn whilst dd2 is screaming "get daddy there is a GIANT spider in my dollhouse!" can't get daddy so phone him in the kitchen, all happening just as posh friends arrive for a visit. Gawd

I reckon my dad has the right idea. He NEVER, EVER stopped pointing out emergency services/ vehicles/ trains to me, and although I found it mildly mortifying age 16, I can now see that really there's no point in fighting it, and he's getting plenty of use out of his skills with my DC's.

Also, this is hilarious. Love it. I think I'm generally quite stern with my friends, and occasionally check whether they need a wee (in fairness, sometimes they do, yet again, proving my dad's point!) :)

Where Once my DH would research online how to put a radiator into a closed central heating system, now he researched In the Night Garden and found on Wikipedia that it is actually a well thought out kiddies programme with 100 episodes and blah blah

At work you once would have said I'm just nipping to the loo if anyone needs me, now it's I'm just off for a wee wee

.. when you stop giggling at people saying 'good swinging!'.

I've not been on here for ages! these threads always make me laugh.

I called a client a silly sausage last week, that was bad enough. Worst of it is, she thought i called her a silly soft bitch!

A "door locked" (or even closed!) wee is a luxury you used to have!

Weeing with your 8mth old trying to pull himself up using your knees

Your vocabulary changes and you end up using words like 'littler' in grown-up conversation.

You give birth to a special 'mum' voice when you give birth to your dc. I reckon mums could sort out a lot of the world's conflicts simply by going to the protaganists and saying 'STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!' to them. To be followed if necessary by 'I'M COUNTING TO THREE!!'

Your signature dish is homemade pizza.

Finally lifting my head from the loo having succumbed to some vile vomiting bug to hear the tell-tale retching of an 8-month old who'd succumbed too... not so much Keep Calm and Carry On as Wipe Up and Carry On.

You have NHS Direct saved as a contact on your mobile. You keep wearing a stained jumper because 1. You can't afford a new one and 2. Carrying DC will cover most of the stains

shodan we so know we could.

you, Kim Jong Il stop that RIGHT now. Do you want me to get cross?

Also, you had to remove words like 'bounce' and 'biscuit' from your vocabulary as it causes too much trouble if your child hears them

Ah the wrecked hands, yes. I often think of that hand cream ad for Atrixo where it was an old lady with amazing young looking hands - I am the opposite obviously if you ignore the bags under my eyes and other impacts of years of sleep deprivation, should probably go to sleep now but DS2 took ages tonight

I think over-sharing of DCs bowel movements when I first went back to work has taught me to compartmentalise better, although my colleagues appreciate the ready supply of tissues and wipes

Calling strangers in the street, sweetheart, poppet or darling - especially bad with lorry drivers pulling over asking directions

When you have no idea how the original sounds but know all the words to "Elmo and I know it"

You don't bat an eyelid when your little cherub flashes your boob at all and sundry, as he is too nosy when feeding.

I think it's OK to comment on someone's spelling or punctuation if they've written something like:

Education standard's have fallen since my day. Children cant spel anymore.

But otherwise not.

wrong thread???

Um, sorry, wrong thread!

Ha ha ha. Definitely a mum! Sleep deprived maybe