You know you're a mum/dad when ....

[Mich100]

... The catchy tune you are humming all day is not the usual Elbow, Adele or some other hip tune, but the character tunes from 'In the Night Garden'.
Iggle Piggle wiggle Iggle, dum de dum de dum

Bwahahahaha....

I can't help noticing and pointing out and getting excited by fire-engines.

The DC's are usually in the back but getting to the jaded teenage years now & they're not as excited as me any more

The other week I had to get rescued by about six fire-men dashing through Ramsay village with sirens blazing to rescue me from the public loo's (door jammed)

It quite made my year day

When having a bath has nothing to do with getting clean, and everything to do with getting twenty minutes peace and quiet.

Brilliant thread!

Virtually all of the above and:

When DH comes in from work on a Friday night and, glasses of wine in hand over dinner, makes the opening gambit "I saw a hilarious episode of Peppa Pig this morning- the one where Daddy Pig goes to the school to coach basketball . . ."

...when you have one cleanshaven leg and one stubbly leg, and/or one beautifully-plucked eyebrow and one like a gorilla's.

"if im stood for more than a few minutes i start to sway gently side to side even though im not holding DD"

Oh god yes!

Giggling at the frantic point and click, Cynner. I also try to hiss "NOOOOO" under my breath at this time. :o

i gave up wearing white trousers
shouting nee naw at sight emergency servce vehicle
heading straight to kids section in clothes shops despite be on solo shopping trip for myself
saving uneaten crusts for ducks at the park
accepting a bath is never a solitary activity
biscuit/sweets are only truly mine when they all asleep!
petit filous/frubes in the fridge
being instantly able to recall songs/kids shows but not what had for tea yesterday

You've had no sleep. Your lo has screamed at you all night, refused food, constantly had there tiny mitts into everything they shouldn't and you've run yourself ragged trying to stop them. But when they look at you and smile everything goes away as your world has just lit up

You devote far too much head time on the invite list to a four year old's birthday party.

Also one from Sean Lock - there are so many raisins in your car you feel like you are driving a muffin

When the baby cries you automatically jiggle up and down before realising DH is carrying the sling then you hiss at him to move to stop DS crying instead of just standing there

You no longer react to DS being sick - you just say, oh dear and wipe it up off the floor/rug/DS' face/DS' clothes/your clothes for the 10th time that day (reflux baby)

Everything you do when getting ready for work in the morning is interspersed with playing peekaboo/whats the time Mr Wolf to stop a curious crawling baby from getting into everything

You look at the clock a million times a day to know when baby went to sleep/woke up/might be hungry/...

you buy your first khagool.

Clock watching for everything is so true. To DS 'you've been awake now for 3 hours, must be ready for sleep. C'mon. You get antsy if they don't coz you think of the things you could be doing like sleeping.
Time for sleep when in the night garden comes in. Almost sends me to sleep first

Dressed in our finery away for a wedding driving from the church to the reception dh and I had a n excited 5 min chat about the playground that we passed on the outskirts if the town and how close it was to our hotel etc - then remembered the kids were 100 miles away this was our weekend away!!!!!
You judge a car by the size of it s boot, wipeability of seats, if you could fit a 3 rd car seat in the back or not - not the sleek lines or engine revs etc
You get to work with your clothes inside out ( again) ( yes this has happened ) - thank goodness for good natured colleagues who are kind enough to point it out and offer to get you a coffee while you change
Your first thought when you hear a kid having a meltdown is thank god it's not mine today 'poor mum' and ' this too shall pass'

1. When your DC are ill and in your bed with you, you do not flinch when they vomit, but direct them to vomit over you rather than the bed as hey, towelling dressing gowns can be washed much more easily than duvets or mattresses. They soak up quite a lot too.

1. When you wear a towelling dressing gown...rather than the silk one you would normally wear yeah right

Exchanging knowing looks with other adults even when you don't have a child with you.

Places like Center Parcs are so so so attractive.

You know how to have a conversation without actually having one.

You can train yourself to tune out of the most annoying play noises that make nonsense and are on a constant loop.

You can be tired and just want to go home and stick a DVD, but when you her the little voice and see the little face you melt and agree to doing what they asked.

Any previous baggage is dumped for a large hold all of parental guilt.

You find yourself having to explain things like why cats can't fix toys.

YY MightyMojo - No question too crazy to merit a carefully considered answer of sorts (on a good day )

Whe. You stand on a bit of Lego, block other bit of sharp plastic tat your child cant seem tomlive without in bare feet in the middle of the night and somehow manage not to scream your head off. You just silently hop around sucking air in between your teeth, for fear of waking the sleeping child it's just taken 4 hours to get to sleep.

Thought of another:

You say to your DP before doing the dirty deed, "hurry up and get on with it will you! If I get to sleep in the next half and hour I'll get a a whole 4 hours sleep!"

You don't need contraception because you have a 2yo who bursts into your room at random intervals and a 9mo who sleeps with her eyes open and so is constantly staring at you through the bars of the cot.

You use phrases like 'get your willy off the radiator/stop trying to push it back into your body/you have a baked bean stuck to it' in the same way other people mention the weather.

You catch the sick in your hands to save having to wash the carpet. When your DH leaves the room and returns to find you covered in baby sick you explain 'my hands weren't big enough' but still count it as a win because clothes are easier to wash than the carpet.

Any toilet trip in a public loo is carried out to the chant of 'leave the for alone, don't open the door, get off the door, no!'

You feel oddly uncomfortable walking without the pushchair.

You realise a cream carpet was a very very bad idea

Ditto the cream walls

The A&E staff at the local hospital greet you with 'oh hello again!'.

Food isn't food until its had several small fingers poked into it. You serve yourself a double portion as you know half of it will be carried off by the miniature savages sharing your table yet you still end up barely anything.

You know you're a parent when going on holiday with your in-laws seems like a really good plan.

CBear6 oh yes. All of those.

a trip to the supermarket on your own seems like bliss.

When you and DH barely use each others actual names.

I remember being in a cafe with DH and DD (then about 3). We were all talking together and DH and I were referring to each other as Mummy and Daddy as DD had a habit of calling us shortened versions of our first names. I remember a smug looking young couple with a small baby looking at us as if we were mad and sharing a smug look between them. I couldn't help but to go up to them and tell them quite gleefully that their time would come!