You know you're a mum/dad when ....

[Mich100]

... The catchy tune you are humming all day is not the usual Elbow, Adele or some other hip tune, but the character tunes from 'In the Night Garden'.
Iggle Piggle wiggle Iggle, dum de dum de dum

Not just me then? Phew

You automatically say thank you when handed a bogey.

Ha ha Viking that takes the cake!

I knew I'd finally become a proper mum the other day when I saw a little girl in a very frilly broiderie anglaise dress, and instead of thinking "Ahh, doesn't she look pretty" my first thought was "that'll be a nightmare to iron!"

you compete with your OH for top prize in the category of holiest clothes. Worse, the prize is no more than a promise of new clothes when we can next afford it but then get shafted when you realise the DD's feet just grew two sizes last night.

I stopped judging people for picking restaurants on the basis of whether they have a kids' menu with chicken nuggets or pizza or chips on it. Because that's how I choose a restaurant or cafe these days.

You don't call your mum 'mum' any more, you call her granny

...you actually say 'bye bye' and wave to adults even when you don't have the kids with you - did this twice in the same day to my local butcher and the mechanics at my local garage - mortified was not the word and now I'm very aware they think I'm barmy

You find yourself washing up/ cleaning automatically whenever you have a spare second without making a concious choice to do so.....

bogeys, poo and sick no longer faze you

I was at a baby group once and the very elderly lady behind the tea counter was struggling to open the milk.... I leant over to help her and said "mummy do it"
blames sleep deprivation

You say "Is that yummy?" to grown adults while they're eating their meals.

Oh yeah, I also have to confess to encouraging a woman to have her baby (I'm a midwife) and whilst she was pushing away I said "that's it, good boy"

Ways for the woman in your care to lose faith in you.... Not really an appropriate time to start explaining you have a young DS...

7.30 am is a lie in.

You finally get to work and during the morning meeting you notice the smear of bogey/porridge/yoghurt on your smart shirt.

Was helping my boss at work and handed him an instrument, but held on to it with "and what do we say?" Luckily he had a child too so saw the funny side.

I really thought I would never ever catch baby sick but now I think why wouldn't you? My mom has stopped a random stranger crossing the road with her arm, telling him sternly "we wait for the green man" :)

A year begins in September and ends in August.

Colleague comes into my working area of factory to 'borrow' piece of equipment on the QT. "Put that down at once or Mummy very cross!" Cue everyone else pissing themselves laughing - but it worked, cos he did!

Also at work: "Right, who else needs to go for a wee wee?" (DD was toilet training.....)

Ahem.

I put my coat on last week to find a muslin in one pocket and a pair of little girls pants in the other. Neither were clean and I didn't even baulk that they had been in there a week.

You know you're a parent when --- you have baby sick on your clothes but go to the shop anyway.

I say "green man " out loud when crossing the road even without DC

When you master the frantic point and click whilst on the phone. You know,when your toddler is about to pour juice over her head, and you are snapping your fingers at their closest older sibling to get them to derail disaster..made more difficult when THEY are on their own phone..

When going to the movies always means something from Pixar or Disney..

When an adult in the family audibly passes wind, you automatically say "What do you say when you've trumped?" in a stern voice, only to find out that the offender is in fact your MIL....

When you get excited that your finally getting a tumble dryer. You think oh great I can get the washing out, when it's a warm day.

My son has a pair of vans and I have 1 pair of primark shoes with a hole in