You know you're a mum/dad when ....

[Mich100]

... The catchy tune you are humming all day is not the usual Elbow, Adele or some other hip tune, but the character tunes from 'In the Night Garden'.
Iggle Piggle wiggle Iggle, dum de dum de dum

When every time you go over a speed-bump you go "weeeeee!" and the only people in the car are your work colleagues who are peeing themselves laughing because you do it every week.........

When every handbag you own has a nappy/wipes & a spare pair of knickers in it...

Great thread... soooo identify with catching sick/be sick on me as I'm more easily washed! Also going to the supermarket without children being a treat... browsing, remember that?

I know I'm a parent when I sit down for a rest in the evening at 10.30pm and it's half an hour earlier than the rest of the week.

Yes to all of these. My manager and I often inflict the other's kiddies tv tune on the other at work, then you get stuck humming the ruddy theme tune to In The Night Garden all day

When you hand food round at a dinnner party and tell everyone to take the first cake they touch! (Thankfully they were all parents!)

A clean car is simply one that doesn't smell of banana sick (I'd NEVER be without febreeze after the "milk and banana sick all over the back of the ca"r incident)

When you're on first name turns with the electrician/plumber/locksmith

The first place you look for your keys is the toybox, pots and pans cupboard, bin and/or washing machine.

You've uttered the words "can you make sure the penguin doesn't eat my earphones please?" (DON'T ask)

Your son asks what pineapples are made of. You answer "ham" - thanks to sleep deprivation.

Tangled is on your list of favourite films. Tangled. Along with Toy Story.

When at work, you find yourself chastising customers and colleagues for forgetting their p's and q's...

You have CBeebies themetunes scrobbled to your last.FM page.

You've used the words "but Superman listens to his mummy" to elicit obedience.

You know ALL the words to the Finley The Fire Engine theme tune

Your friend trips over. You help them up, with an "oops a daisy"...

You've returned at least one snapped DVD to blockbuster

Finding your purse in the freezer no longer raises a "wtf!"

I once got stopped in the corridor at college, to get told I had yoghurt down my bag. Automatically whipped out a babywipe to deal with it.

You've called into Sony to tell them your toddler spilt orange squash over your laptop, and was there anyway of rescuing it. You know the woman you spoke to was a mother when she replied along the lines of "been there, done that, docked his pocket money for the next 18 years to pay for a replacement"

I found myself asking my uni class mates on many an occassion, before leaving lectures and seminars, in my best mummy voice "Now, have you got everything..." They still won't let me live it down. :(

I am loving the responses to this thread. What worries me is I did some of these before I had kids.
Along with the 'you know you're tired when...' thread, these will keep me laughing when I'm up at godawful o'clock with my DS or when sat in A&E when he has shoved something up his nose and/or ear and I'm ever so slightly pissed off

!0pm is a late night and you know you'll regret that second glass of wine when you're woken at 5.30am.

10pm, not !0pm!!

I'm tired y'see .

You roam around Tescos, babe in arms feeling the need to provide a running commentary, in sing-song voice, of all of the items entering the trolley.

?And now we?re buying milk because Daddy can?t drink 'Mummy milk' like baby can!?

You cook any number of different meals but have to tell DS/DD that the meat is chicken and the vegetable carrots no matter what is on the plate in order for them to eat it.

when you dont remember the last time you drank a cup of coffee without microwaving it 500 times first
ditto with a hot meal
you dont have a handbag anymore,you have a change bag that you shove your purse into
you upgrade your tv package for more kids channels(and spend an inordinate sum of money each month) so you dont have to watch the same charlie and lola or cbeebies dvd fifteen times a day

Ah, I thought that was going to say ...

You don't remember the last time you had a hot cup of coffee, or one that you finished !

You've obviously got more perserverence than me amiesis

Luke warm tea or coffee anyone ?

Likewise You convince yourself food can be better warm than hot !

Sorry, that should be amieis (a touch of amnesia from me there ?! - or perhaps dyslexia)

you no long say thank you it's ta ta!

when your woken up at 6.30 with an 18month walking in with no nappy on handing you a lump of poo looking so proud of themselves

When you find yourself walking down the street and you see a fire engine and you excitedly say out loudly "FIRE ENGINE" and then realise you are alone.

Yes yes yes to swaying without the baby, pointing at things and naming them very emphatically ('oh look! A PUSSY CAT!').

Got all gooey about a tiny baby at the weekend, not like me at all - another sign.

And of course, sick on clothes and singing Postman Pat and the Wheels on the Bus - DD1 is now into calling out the next vehicle for me to sing about - 'the wheels on the bus go round and round...CAR!...the wheels on the CAR go round and round... LORRY!...' etc.

Oh, and hearing a baby crying when she isn't. Or is she? Better check...

you move the scissors on the table at work to a high shelf
you wonder what Grandpa in my Pocket will get up to today
you eat your main meal at 5pm...and then forget by 9pm that you ever ate as eating it was in a complete haze of chaos
you never have more than 7 hours sleep (and that's considered aaammmaaazing) but you are used to it and can't imagine sleeping in past 9 anyway
you sweep the floors DAILY
you find bogeys on walls
your make up is 4 years old
you accept that you stomach has a life of its own and your hands are wrecked from constant hand washing
you think TOWIE et al really have no bloody idea what 'stress' is...
...you become mildy obsessed with twitter, Facebook and mumsnet because you can't get out or talk on the phone the way you used to, and it's nice to know you're not the only one ;-)

You go out for the evening for the first time in 3 years, all dressed up to the nines and looking forward to a relaxing evening. You look down at your hands and realise you are wearing a dummy on your finger.

..and you've friends, really good friends, that you have never ever been drunk with....

You become thankful that you have you tube on your phone and are thankful you can access come outside at any time, any where to amuse a bored toddler. Even worse you are very excited to find an episode you have never seen on cbeebies and can multi task by talking to the obstetrician about difficult pregnancy and engage with son about pippin and auntie Mable all the at the same time just for some peace so you can at least sort of concentrate on your appointment without feeling slightly embarrassed; even when you excitedly tell the obstetrician in explanation its about crisps this hasn't been on before.

When you shout 'come here now! How many times have I told you not to wander off' to DH in tesco