You know you're a mum/dad when ....

[Mich100]

... The catchy tune you are humming all day is not the usual Elbow, Adele or some other hip tune, but the character tunes from 'In the Night Garden'.
Iggle Piggle wiggle Iggle, dum de dum de dum

Despite cleaning it out daily, your car is a constant disgrace.
So is your handbag.

Ah yes, the iggle piggle song - even DH has been known to walk around humming that one

You catch vomit in your bear hands to save it going all over the carpet ... again.

And you become a poo-ologist.

I realised I'd crossed a bridge when in a meeting at work we were chatting about the mandala someone had made in reception (forgive me that I've forgotten which Hindu festival it was). I made some remark about it and someone said "have you been to India?". I had to confess that I'd watched Teletubbies that morning and the clip was about it. And as they had repeated it twice it had really stuck!!

See, have had another baby since. Long term memory completely gone now...

Yes to pushing shopping trolley back and forth.

Pointing out cows and horses automatically - when there's just adults in the car!

Asking for fizzy juice in a restaurant instead of a coke

When you're referred to, not by your name, but by DD's mum or DS's mum.

When you'll 'happily' fork out £30 for small kiddie shoes but shop around for something cheaper for yourself.

My "i really am a parent" moment was while on the loo trying to have a private moment, I was reading aloud 'the very hungry caterpillar' to my toddler!

When helping a colleague put on a fancy dress costume (fundraising) and say 'good boy!' rather enthusiastically when he finished putting it on.

...you automatically hold out your hand without looking to 'cross the busy road'- even when you're out with adults. Especially funny when you're with your own mum and she's done the same.

...you find small toys at the bottom of any handbag you go out with.

And an anecdote from my mother- DB2, as an impoverished student, asked her if she could buy him a pair of shoes as his were knackered. "Yes of course," she replied "But I don't know when I can take you to get them!" "It's ok mum," he said "I'm 20 years old, I can go by myself. But thanks."

And yy to "Ooh look! A fire engine/ police car/ horsey/cow!" to other adults in the car...

I once referred to myself as Mummy (and in the 3rd person!) to a work bigwig

You spend the whole day fretting and worrying about whether ds/dd has had enough to eat/healthy things to eat/slept enough/pooed and weed ok..

Then you get to the evening and realise that you haven't sat down all day, you havent had time to go to the loo and all you've eaten all day is a handful of Cheerios from lo's highchair ..

threeleftfeet, exactly!
You can't see a cat walk past without breaking into 'I'm O'Malley The Alley Cat' (even DD is getting sick of this - there are a lot of cats in our neighbourhood)

Whenever anyone says 'why, didn't you know?' you recite the rest of the Gruffalo automatically.

Yes yes to the lift.

But then I also struggled to get on and off an escalator the other day (without DS) as it's been so long since I went on one. Sad or what?

I knew I was a parent when I smiled sympathetically at a couple in a restaurant with a screaming baby whilst my childress friends were all moaning. Also, planning meals out dependent uon where does the best children's menu vs. grown up fod.

You have spent the last few months saving not for a new pair of shoes, but for a buggy..

You find bars awfully loud

You have been able (if asked) to say all the nappies produced/times when your little one went to toilet in past 24 hours (getting an update when returning home from work/leaving them)!

You find bits of toys, a sticker, a sock and dried up wet wipe in your coat pocket - or similar combination of child related mess.

You get to work and realise that your pockets are full of dummies.
You finally get a night out on your own with DH and all you talk about are the kids (and you need to go home at 10pm because you're so tired).
You cry at anything remotely sad on the TV.

Using your sleeve and spit to clean little darlings faces after swearing u would never do that turning into my mother!

:) I do all of these! I said that to my Dad the other day "Ohhh, look at all the sheep!" I did stop myself before asking him to count them, luckily.

Also, I love Louis CK's bit where he talks about not judging other parents now. He says something like "before, you'd see some mom absolutely melting down on her child, and you'd think, 'what a terrible person!' Now I just think, 'what did that shitty kid do to that poor woman?! I wish I could help!' " :o

"We can do it, we can do it, we can do it if we tryyyyyy, if it doesn't work the first time, we try twice as hard the next time, cause we can do it if we try!

ALL. BASTARD. WEEK.

Gr.

You can't travel outside school holiday periods anymore :(

when you can't let an emergency vehicle pass by without betraying a certain frisson of excitement...

You know all the words to all the shitty kids shows your DC watch.

All of your phone conversations with anyone from British Gas to your mum are puncuated with "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Don't DOOOOOOOOOOOOO it there! go to the toilet!" Or similar.

You discuss your DC's bowel movements with your partner as freely as others talk about who's been dropped by the X Factor.

You talk about yourself in the 3rd person all the time even though you swore you'd never do that

You can make it to the baby's cot and back to bed (often with the baby) with your eyes still closed.

when you find yourself actually reading the ingredients information on food labels...

and when you are seriously expected to be able to provide compelling answers to such questions as "What was there before the big bang and what colour was it?", "How EXACTLY am I related to a chimpanzee?" and "Where do the merry-go-round horses go at night?"..

I excitedly pointed out a tractor the other day while driving my 3 childless male mates somewhere, they thought it was highly amusing!

I also got my bag searched by a doorman on a night out and he said the only reason people have big bags are to smuggle booze in, he found a juice cup, baby spoon, a bib and a rattle!

You get obsessive about how much washing you can get done in a day... when the sun comes out your first thought is, 'oooh its a lovely drying day'