'SAHMS' that have full time childcare or help - a fantastic liberation or downright lazy?

[Enid]

There are lots of mothers down here in Dorset who are (or whose husbands are) well off enough to afford NOT to work. I know a few and they all have full time aupairs or nannies. One of them has TWO nannies - one for each of her children.

It seems to be a matter of pride that you always take the nanny/au pair on holiday to help with your children. Also that the nanny/au pair takes the children to clubs and activities.

OK - I think it is outrageously lazy (and so does dh). What do you think?

batters i kow that some people dont have the choice to stay at home as i stated but there are always alternative like part time etc . i was simply stating that she doesnt work and still has full time childcare that is just ridiculous. i have worked previously and used childcare so im not anti-work-parents but i think that you should consider staying at home if you can IMO

am i making enemies?

Wow, Batters, you're feeling feisty this morning! I see this thread as a discussion about whether you'd have full time childcare if you didn't work and could afford to stay home all day and pay nannies etc, not a discussion about whether anyone should use childcare.

expat, im talking about these women who dont work and go shopping all day, there are exceptional circunstances i know

I'd have an au pair, but DH won't countenance someone living in.

I can see the point if you have say three or more children but not otherwise and I'm talking au pair not full time nanny. I would love to not to have to drag DD's 2 & 3 out on the school run or to DD1's dancing classes etc.

As for holidays surely the point is to have fun doing things with your children.

These women Enid is talking about are just lazy I reckon.

i am with you muma3

When I first had kids we lived abroad and had a maid . I was a SAHM and to me, the thing she provided to me was freedom - e.g. being able to have a haircut without having to beg favours and screech there and back with white knuckles so as not to be late. I did stuff with my kids and also stuff without them, like meeting a friend for coffee.

I love my kids to bits but feel no need to bind them to my side permanently to advertise my devotion to them. I think it makes me a better mother to them if I have some time away from them doing stuff for me, be it a haircut or working. So there .

but I want to be the one who takes dd's to school. would hate for someone else to do it

Message withdrawn

pull up a chair MT
I am trying to think of something inflammatory...

[sighs relief that im not hated ) thanks nailpoilsh. this must be the most heated discussion i have participated in .
having a brave day

I don't see anything wrong with being lazy.

Message withdrawn

I work but don't have to, from a financial point of view.

However, from a psychological point of view it is crucial to me!

We aren't all the same, we don't all make the same choices (said sweetly, but tiredly)

eh?

I would have a housekeeper and hang out with dd

It does seem a little odd that two children merit two nannies and a sahm

I love doing supermarkets with the kids. Gives me a chance to show off how well-behaved my kids are and to judge how badly behaved everyone else's are.

Message withdrawn

oh f ing hell am I going ot have to agree with cod AGAIN??
oh alright then

cod's right. small children DO like going to the supermarket ime. it's FUN.
in fact they love all that day to day stuff. the market, the dry cleaners, the bank etc etc

it's not a crime to be lazy. SILs partner is a master at it. 40 years old and never had a job. ever. he's been on the dole since he was 16.

DD1 in tesco. NO! she's 2.7 and it's like shopping w/an octopus.

expat - were you a Chalet School books fan when you were younger by any chance

NP - Cod's question further down the thread!!

They love choosing the fruit and eating the grapes

i didn't go shopping w/my mum till i was about 4 or 5.

i stayed home w/sara. the maid .