'SAHMS' that have full time childcare or help - a fantastic liberation or downright lazy?

[Enid]

There are lots of mothers down here in Dorset who are (or whose husbands are) well off enough to afford NOT to work. I know a few and they all have full time aupairs or nannies. One of them has TWO nannies - one for each of her children.

It seems to be a matter of pride that you always take the nanny/au pair on holiday to help with your children. Also that the nanny/au pair takes the children to clubs and activities.

OK - I think it is outrageously lazy (and so does dh). What do you think?

my dh's boss has THREE nannies
for two children (they are 6 and 8)
they cover twenty four hours/seven days a week between them
when I met her she said "Oh so you are a SAHM? I think that's fantastic! I would LOVE to do that!"
then dd1 was sick on her, which pleased me

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no of course we wouldnt say the same there is a reason to use childcare and then they wouldnt be judged in the same light but not working or looking after you children is pathetic.

staying at home and havin a nanny is fobbing them off !!! what does she do ? paint her nails and read mags ffs???

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I've just realised I'm a SAHM atm. I have to readjust my views now Oh, and hire a couple of nannies.

fantastic liberation!

in fact one woman feels positively gutted for me that I work and only have childcare on the days I work

she cannot get her head round how I can cope. 'you MUST have some permanant help once the new baby arrives '

Glad DD1 has well-aimed socially-apt sicks, HC.

i think if you can afford it you should stay at home. even just til they go to preschool or whatever

so there

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she does, hunker, she does
she is her mother's child
nothing worse than being patronised by your dh's boss and you have to be polite

How d'you know they don't spend time with their kids with their nannies/ au-pairs there though?

When I had an au-pair, quite often we'd all hang out together as a family even when she was off duty, but when she was on duty i'd still be around sometimes and do stuff together with her.

If you get on well with someone who is helping you out with the kids, what's the difference between having her hanging around the house and having a friend hanging around who is going to help you out? (apart from the money of course)

My mum never worked outside the home. Whilst we didn't have nannies in the States, we did when we were living in S. America. And even in the States, she always had 'help' in the form of a cleaner and a gardener.

But she's anything but lazy, I can tell you. She's a pretty good painter and sculptor.

If I could afford it, absolutely!

Really it's no one's business.

Batters - I meant the kids of this particular woman go to Tumble Tots with their nannies whilst she does god knows what. I wasn't trying to stoke up the tired old "are working mums evil" argument, fgs.

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I feel I should say "all children need their mothers at home till they go to university" in my new pose as SAHM.

I can't though. Odd.

Well you could say the same about women who stay at home once the children are all in school!

What do they do all day?

On a normal basis an au pairs hours equate to about the same as school hours - so just the same!

Like most people here, if I didn;t work then I would still have loads of cleaning, housekeeping, gardening help. The most important thing to me would be someone to take care of all the drudge bits of looking after children - sterilising stuff, washing ironing, cooking and freezing purees, shopping, clearing the table and highchairs down, washing the floor every 5 mins, etc etc. Leaving all the fun bits for mum

EPIS! We were judging and you go and spoilt it all

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