OK, so I've finally made the decision, handed in my notice and I'm going to be a SAHM for a couple of years - eek! Tell me the best and the worst I have to look forward to.

[IHeartKingThistle]

I teach secondary at the moment. DCs 5 and 2. Finances should be OK but I might do a bit of tutoring. I'm feeling good about it.

But what is it actually going to be like? Can you tell me best things and worst things please? I feel like I need to prepare myself!

TIA

Ocean.

I was saying to DH the other night that I've NEVER had a time in my life when in the evenings I didn't hear a little voice saying 'you should be working...'. Went straight into teaching from uni and have been doing it 12 years. I can't imagine what it would be like to have guilt-free free time! (Well guilt free in terms of work, anyway!)

Thanks gomummy

"Worst: some people treat you as though you have half the intelligence you did previously, feeling apologetic for not 'contributing' economically (both to society and the home), coming bottom of the list as you have no absolute commitments, worrying about returning to work, some days utterly tedious or head-wreckingly frustrating. Coping with the awful days is hard and they come around quite often."

This ^

The best bit is actually being able to look after your DCs yourself and enjoy them, no matter how much they drive you demented sometimes .

The first 6 months is like a holiday, bt after that it can occasionally be quite boring .

I am wondering how others find time to read books and keep the house tidy... but maybe that says more about me than them, or perhaps my DCs are younger.

Ooh yes ByTheWay1, being able to actually enjoy weekends as a family, as all the housework/gardening is done...priceless!

I am honestly never ever bored (other than at the sound of my own voice repeatedly asking the kids (6 and 3) to do something).

Worst thing - never really getting a day off work
Best thing - oooh, loads, more relaxed pace, being able to get involved in school/nursery, getting to read a magazine and have a coffee in the garden in the morning, ambling round the supermarket to see what you fancy, colouring, snuggles on the sofa after lunch, having trips out with the kids when you used to be at work, never stressing about who can stay home when one of them is sick. Etc.

I love being a SAHM and gave up a reasonably high powered professional career to do it. Good luck:)

I've been a SAHM for 5 long years. Ds is 5, dd is 18m.

Best bit:
When they're ill, you're there.
Worst bit:
When you're ill, they're there.

Other pros..
Time to do things like enjoy this nice weather
Able to go to school plays /services etc
Can drop off / pick up and get to know other school friends / parents

Other cons:
Hard to keep on top of housework during day or maybe I'm rubbish
Can be very lonely
Feel inadequate when all my mates from back in the day at uni have high flying careers

I wouldn't swap it though today

These are brilliant. I've read some out to DH and he said 'Wow, these mums are funny,' as if it was something surprising. I've put him straight about the intelligence and wit of MNers now.

This is so helpful - thank you so much!

He meant it as a compliment btw, not that you were all strange!

Bloody DH - his ignorance has killed the thread

Any more wisdom to add, post-bedtime crowd?

Woo! Exciting!

Didn't know you were pg - change all round for you then

Congratulations! The early bit SUCKS, right?

I kind of wish I'd given up when mine were as little as yours. It wasn't possible till now though - better late than never!

For me ds is 4 (with another due in Sept) I simply didn't return after my maternity leave. Don't think I've anything new to add but my opinions on being a SAHM are:

Best - I got spend that precious time with ds before he goes to school, to go through his first experiences with him and watch him develop into the little person he's become.
I feel like I've made a real contribution into the person he is and what he's learnt so far.
I don't have to worry about cancelling/rearranging his various (many) appointments with speech therapists, OT, doctors etc as I'm always available.
It's marvellous spending time in the good weather knowing I wouldn't have that chance if I was working.
I felt no pressure with regards to potty training or the like.

Worst - It does get a boring at times and I miss adult company and conversation. There's only so much you can get out of a conversation about Ben10.
Money, or lack thereof.
Shopping can be a nightmare.
My house seems constantly messy with dishes always needing doing.
I do miss the 'constant buzz' of work sometimes, and have even taken to dreaming of it recently.
Ds can be a little bit clingy to me at times.

Being a SAHM was the best decision at the time and I feel lucky that I was able to do it. On the other hand doing it with one child was enough for me and I fully plan to return to work once the newest arrival is about 6-9 months or so. Mentally don't think I could cope with another 5 years

Oh and worst - you can never phone in for a sick day

I think that's going to be horrendous the first time it happens!

sick day = cbeebies-as-babysitter!

I've been a SAHM for 2 years now and have DC 3.5 and 12 mo plus another on the way.

Best: I echo almost everything others have said and would add never having that dragging feeling of dread about work on a Sunday night.
Keeping my brain in gear by listening to radio 4 - on in the background in the kitchen most days.

Worst: Never getting a day off. The first year was like a holiday when there was just me and DC 1. It's harder with 2 to keep on top of things around the house.

I aim to have something to do outside of the house every day. I tried lots of groups, found the ones we liked best and have 3 we go to regularly. The rest of the time we meet up with friends at their house/in the park/at the play barn etc or take DCs to library, local beauty spot, to the shops etc.

I can't imagine a Sunday night without marking!

I'm naturally disorganised so I can't blame my job for not always being on top of things, but I'm really hoping it'll get easier - at the moment I get 1 precious day a week with DS and I have to fit blitzing the house and doing all the errands into that too.

Thanks for your honesty, everyone! I feel a bit more prepared now - and I still want to do it!

One of the worst things is having to listen to the judgement of other people and fielding questions about when/why...

Also, people just assume you are rich and you are fortunate to have chosen to be a SAHM. In my case, it isn't a choice - DH works long and unpredictable hours, we have one preschooler and 1 in primary school and everything to do with children/house cleaning and maintenance etc is my responsibility. I am knackered as it is (so is DH) just keeping going and it is galling when people assume I am sat drinking coffee and watching TV all day.

I was a bit naughty and became a SAHM as the third one went to nursery I did it for three years and then went back part time, so I get the best of both worlds now.

I did find when I was at home full time that the jobs just sort of expanded to fit the time available. I didn't get more done, just did it slower... Still had lots of time to recharge my batteries, get my children into new school routines ( we moved to a new area) and get the house how I wanted it. So now I feel equipped to go back to another challenge and it's all working great.

It's only a 50% job so still feel like a SAHM half the time.

I was a SAHM for around 9 years, I know the highs and the lows! Good points: Time to just 'do' stuff, no timetables, it's all up to you.

"people assume I am sat drinking coffee... all day."

Plenty of people do that at work :o

Thanks for the thread. I'm doing something similar soon (DC3 on the way) and looking forward to it/terrified.

DDs are 4 and 2.

I know from teacher friends how all consuming it is so I'm sure you'll LOVE your time at home!